THE BEAST OF VOID vs. Fredric

THE BEAST OF VOID vs. Fredric

THE BEAST OF VOID vs. Fredric

50.5%
373 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

49.5%
366 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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TINMAN
Artist
140 comments
# 19   Posted: Jan 2 2013, 07:08 PM
Bent- Your inks are rad as hell and I love that two of my traditional artist brethren are facing off so fiercely in this fight. Your rough pencils work incredibly well for such gory and dark subject matter, the gaseous effects are something you especially excel at. The separations of black, white and grey break the panels up nicely so you can tell where everything breaks and theres depth to your environs. I think cross hatching is a bygone art better left to solids at this point but your skill with a pencil is undeniable. If anything improvement of sticking to model and anatomy work is all you lack, but I know these are goals you've set out for yourself.


Joe Neary- I thoroughly enjoy the thought you put into your sense of place, the purgatory underworld subway tunnels are conceptually cool and the little detailed bits with the photos and scaffolds and x-ray spex view of the Beasts lair are great. I know where the battle is set. Inking and lighting it all would have been incredibly impressive. Omniscient third person narration is tough to handle this day in age. Its best attatched to someone or done as a newsprint or contextual device such as cellphone texts or something people relate to- but you seem to have a biblical mythos metaphor going on here, some its liturgical sense isn't lost on me. Could be made clearer in the balloons or lettering perhaps. Panel arrangement and clarity is a huge leap forward from your older comics, hopefully you can find a happy medium in dynamism and invention going forward- maybe cinematic letter box for a big fight scene such as this or frames reminiscent of Illuminated manuscripts for this theme of story. Just ideas I  know you can pull off. You've improved on the anatomy and posing but your perspectives are sometimes crammed oddly into the panels, positioning limbs to direct the audience eye through the page is key. The Lance of Longinus parallels and the fall from grace are nice ideas, I would have liked to see it all in its fully inked glory. A dildo to the eye is a scar if ever there was one.

DragonHeart
Artist
97 comments
# 18   Posted: Dec 29 2012, 08:59 PM
Looks like I lost. Here goes a redesign! :D
Well done BenT One. I know neither of us finished but I thought it was fun.

neens
Approval Committee
259 comments
# 17   Posted: Dec 27 2012, 11:47 AM
the bent one- excuses? that's nice that there was intended to be more, but you gave us this. page 4 was a bit of a mess visually, and it took me a bit to figure out. panel 2 I thought the beasts' silhouette was a hole fredric was running through, and he appears to be ripping the entire fourth panel. also, mind the 180 rule with camera angles.

joe- so stiff! work on them poses and anatomy. I agree with the narrator sentiment as well. otherwise it's kinda hard to say anything when it's unfinished.

Bobo
Web Dev
894 comments
# 16   Posted: Dec 26 2012, 07:46 AM
So, um... two unfinished comics...

Basically, if you had finished your stories, they both would have been pretty good. As it stands, BenT's comic felt completely boring, and Joe's was pretty funny in a grotesque sort of way, but I agree with Kura on the narrator thing. Fortunately for this comic, it at least let me know what was going on. I don't think I would have known otherwise. His "weapon" totally killed me. Really creepy in a funny sort of way.

PS--I still want to do that collab battle with you some day. I think it would be totally cool.

The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 15   Posted: Dec 26 2012, 03:58 AM
I feel I should make some details known to anyone else who is going to leave a critique.

1: I had a longer story planned out, where fredric had met this woman in a botched mugging attempt, but then she found him later and was concerned for the way he was living. She would meet with him just to talk and hang out and try to help him, and he was getting to like her, as she was bringing some normalcy to his life. Then, one day, she doesn't show. Cue the story you see here. Obviously, I had to cut back on the story by a lot.

2: I normally ink everything, but I had no time. So I penciled in everything with a mechanical pencil. Not the best solution, but better than nothing.

Just some background on why stuff is the way it is in this battle.

Well, I better get to redrawing my design sheet.

DragonHeart
Artist
97 comments
# 14   Posted: Dec 25 2012, 03:12 PM
Wow, that is an incredible idea Majikura! This is why I need to talk to people a bit more about ideas, rather than doing it purely by myself. Just can make things that much more interesting and dynamic.
The eyeball will definitely become a trophy of Fredric's if I happen to win! :D

Majikura
Artist
466 comments
# 13   Posted: Dec 25 2012, 02:39 PM
Seriously Void? 9 votes?  I KNOW there are more of you out there.  Get voting dammit!


Bent: I dont feel like you used Fredric's character very well in this comic.  The whole thing boils down to "Frediric meets the beast, fredrick runs away, fredrick loses half his face".  In a scar match I want to see more interaction.  Have fredric put up a fight or something.  As it is right now fredric can be replaced with any other character and your comic outcome would be the same.  Make this comic feel like "Fredric vs the Beast" instead of "The Beast attacks someone"

Joe: I am not a fan of the invisible narrator thing you have going on.  If i were to write this, I would have had the narration been done by a cultist or something who's trying to recruit people by telling people their messiah took down a satanic beast.  then you could have had him carry around the eyeball of the beast like a trophy as proof or something.  Make it a retelling of events instead of a play-by-play and i think the story would have been a bit more enjoyable.

Darius Corry
Artist
427 comments
# 12   Posted: Dec 23 2012, 08:21 PM
Man, the scariest thing has to be having to turn in an unfinished comic during a scar match (speaking from personal experience). Definitely a lesson learned though.


The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 11   Posted: Dec 23 2012, 08:02 PM
pineapple pocky - The only reason my comic is all in pencil is because I didn't have time to ink it. I have almost all of the pencils you mentioned, and I am familiar with them. I just had no time to go full pencil or full ink. Thanks for all the advice, though.

Pennydox
Artist
235 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 23 2012, 06:30 PM
okay sorry for misunderstanding. If you bump levels so crazy just for the blacks, it would be wise to bump down the blues as much as needed and then de-saturate the entire image. It will give the illusion that the blueline was actually pencil line, and then you can erase iddy bitty parts or adjust the levels, which afterwards, would be far easier to make those dark pencils darker without a single trace of blue. If that looks too black-white, then add a layer of orange on 'overlay' mode, and lighten up the opacity to around 10% or whatever desired. Also, that was some insane level bumps to show those layers with some insane midtones, might wanna watch out for that in the future.

DragonHeart
Artist
97 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 23 2012, 03:50 PM
BenT One, I love the way you've drawn Fredric and its crazy how we both decided to rip eachother's eyes out!
I'll crit the comic later! Take some good time with it. :)

DragonHeart
Artist
97 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 23 2012, 03:49 PM
Just to explain.
I obviously didn't finish it,
I wanted it to be all greys and blacks when finished. I was using the blue pencil for pencilling and would eventually get rid of it, but if I did that for the comic as it is now it would just be white pages twards the end...
So really even though its not finished, I just wanted to show what I have of a story, perspective etc.
Thanks Pocky, and its just shitty cheap paper with the levels bombed up to show the blues as best as I could as actually I was using a really light one.

Pennydox
Artist
235 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 23 2012, 03:16 PM
some small stuff-
JoeNeary: There is a lot of detail you put in it, but when you scanned it, I can see that you used a really rough textured paper as well as a strong blue pencil. Did you intend to use watercolor on this thing? If not, I would recommend using a smoother thinner paper, just because smoother/thinner paper will pick up the pen ink better. If you weren't gonna use watercolor either, use another paper, just for the sake of your wallet money.

TheBentOne: You used a lot of pencil, I can see that. I also see that you must have drawn on quite a large piece of paper to have hatched sooo much. But don't kill your hand! Pencils come in different hardness and sizes, and judging from what I see on this paper, I recommend buying a 4b or 6b pencil, and a  'graphite stick' pencil (usually comes in HB or 2B), which is basically a pencil with no wood and is purely graphite. Not only will you not have to scritch scratch that paper over with more force, but will cover the paper faster and with a more even tone. Quick explanation:
4b/6b pencil:I see you have those REALLY heavy darks, and you tried to get them pretty black in dunno, photoshop or something. But I see those scritch scratch lines, and double/triple hatching in different directions. Pencils in the "B" range have softer and darker graphite lead, so you don't have to press the pencil as hard (as this stuff rolls off easier and faster than a hb pencil), but it is also way darker (the higher the number, the darker it is). This lead is soft, so you can use your finger and you can smudge it a little too. This may also be a disadvantage, but all you have to do is stick a small piece of paper underneath. Approximate cost: less than $3
Graphite pencil: This is a stick of graphite. Comes in pencil or block form. When you shade the lighter areas, I see you often shade large parts in specific directions. Either for speed or for coverage in a specific contour, it seemed your pencil lead was very thin. To take off the effort, graphite pencils have more coverage and more consistent tone because the thing is a larger piece of graphite (like how a normal pencil is bigger than a leadpencil's diameter, a graphite stick is bigger than a normal pencil's diameter, and often doesn't need sharpening whatsoever). You can use the side of the graphite stick, and use it like a normal pencil for shading. approximate cost: less than $2 for a small piece, which would last you for a long ass time.

And just because I gave specific size numbers and stuff, you can always use your better judgement for a different size, width, hardness, etc. B is darker and softer lead (rubs more easily), HB is the middle guy, and H is for the lighter and harder lead. H is harder to erase than B lead btw.

The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 22 2012, 10:17 PM
Uploaded. Had to cut back a bit, but I think it still works.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
1055 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 16 2012, 02:27 PM
I expect some manly scars to be had here

Mister Kent
Artist
945 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 9 2012, 12:57 PM
Glad to see you both in action! Make it awesome :)

Bobo
Web Dev
894 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 8 2012, 07:02 PM
This.

The Bent One
Artist
564 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 8 2012, 05:54 PM
I'll make it short. I'll make is sweet. I'll make it bloody.

IT'S GO TIME. PUT YOUR MAN HAT ON.

DragonHeart
Artist
97 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 8 2012, 02:24 PM
Yeaaaahhhhhhhh!
I'm really scared for this one... Wanna make it good. I can't be off Void for so long and come up with a piece of crap, lets do this thing. I wish you all the best of luck man! :D

Comic Details -

 
Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Dec 29th, 2012
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 1032
Winner: The Bent One
 

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