You seem to have a handle, but at the same time, it feels a little too scratchy, & at points a little rushed & disjointed. Her eyes never felt like they were in the same spot twice. Work on your profile & three quarter views. And your splash page was nice, while the other large establishing shot later felt too hurried. Especially since it's so easy to make a straight line digitally.
Also, as small as it was, the hours of operation sign stuck out at me because it was much cleaner than the rest of your linework. I'm not a fan of using photos or other images as props in a panel. Thing is, you have all the time in the world to work on intros. It's even more tempting to do when you're battling with a deadline, but please avoid doing that moving forward.
Otherwise, I like what I see & can't wait to see more.
Intro Story / Tabris
Critiques & Comments
# 4
Posted:
Sep 30 2012, 01:25 PM
# 3
Posted:
Sep 29 2012, 04:28 PM
Finally!! I really like the way you colored this, it just compliments your line work well.
# 2
Posted:
Sep 29 2012, 09:38 AM
HEY YOU FINALLY FINISHED IT. The way you colored this piece is working out for you, although I think you could stand to clean up your linework a bit, or at least vary it up at times. That said, it's good to see this finished, and this is great because it's so rare to find a "following someone about their regular day" comic on void.
# 1
Posted:
Sep 29 2012, 08:42 AM
Great to see you back in action! First off I REALLY liked these pages. The style is nice and gritty which really goes hand in hand with Void City. You backgrounds are really good, I especially liked the "common people" panel so great job there. Tabris' character is well displayed but I did find her dialogue a little hard to get round at some points, like at first it took me a while to realise that was the route you were going (I was thinking what's "eet" at first lol). I'd concentrate on your faces a little bit more as they could do with tightening up in my opinion, but overall I'm super interested and can't wait to see you battling!
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Oct 6th, 2012
Votes Cast:
22
Page Views:
1521
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Artist
Mind using photos in your comics
having your audience understand your dialogue should be considered
scratchy linestyle
other than that, I was pleasantly surprised by the fact you gave attention to your backgrounds. It really gave your character a nice rich world to inhabit s she led us along on a typical day.