Intro Story / Hakase and Kuno

Intro Story / Hakase and Kuno

Intro Story — Hakase and Kuno


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Field Marshal Lionel Forsythe W. Underwood XIII, GBE
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136 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 22 2012, 04:32 AM
* 3* I love this so much. You know how to tickle my inner geek.

xSapKapx
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7 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 19 2012, 11:29 PM
Looks great. I love the coloring.

Julz
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371 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 16 2012, 08:10 PM
Very solid comic and very entertaining!

Kuro
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581 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 16 2012, 04:57 PM
I think there's a shitton of potential here. I like science. And I like karate. You handle action fairly well & I want to see where you take these characters.

Personally, layout wise, I don't really like placing two panels on top of each other to the left of a tall panel, unless there's something leading your eye down. Naturally, your eyes wanna travel right then down & with the size I'm looking at this, I didn't see the bottom left panel until after I tracked right & scrolled down. Realizing where I should've went took me out of it for a second & killed the flow. If you're looking to switch that up & lead them down before sticking right, you should provide more to push the reader's attention in that direction.

Dialogue is what struck me as the weakest element. I mean your character had a distinctive voice & personality that fleshed out ok, but the hooligans were awfully weak & generic. They just didn't feel well thought out. Even down to their motivation. I mean usually with extortion rackets, you don't just jump the guy you're trying to get money out of unless you're straight up mugging. Usually it's idle threats & property damage, trying to get them to pay you off. Them full on charging this guy seems like you're skipping some steps if their goal is protection money. Granted you've got only four pages to work with, but I think there could've been a better way to tackle that. Having them call themselves "tax men" made me roll my eyes.

Also, in relation to the size of your finished page, the text seemed to be taking up a lot of space. You could opt smaller to give us that much more art to look at. Perhaps using pen tool & tweaking the balloon shapes too, as the ones you use have TONS of margin space on top but start getting really crammed on the sides.

Lastly, if you're going to have a really intelligent character, work out the typos on the big words. Seems silly, but if the guy's a genius, it makes them stand out more.

Video320
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116 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 15 2012, 09:48 PM
sweetness.

Funfetus
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19 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 15 2012, 08:15 PM
"Your science is weak!"

Excellent stuff, man. The storytelling was easy to follow, and the story was entertaining. The gang-that-runs-the-neighborhood bit felt a bit cliche, but it fulfills its purpose well enough. The fire thug's cussing felt a bit repetitive, and I feel like excessive profanity has a tendency to make a work feel amateurish unless it's used in an interesting way. Hakase's dialogue was truly entertaining, though. Kuno's entrance was well-handled, and the coloring effects (throughout the comic, but there in particular) were really well-done. Excellent work. These characters are immediately interesting,  and I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with them.

Charlie
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726 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 15 2012, 07:38 PM
Straight 9s across the board for me on this. I enjoyed it dude, glad they're finally in! I really think the effort you put in is really coming across here.

Tofubeast
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254 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 15 2012, 07:29 PM
You've put a lot of time and work into it, and it shows! I'm glad you got these guys in--Hakase's mathematical battle talk is the greatest.

Shen
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1278 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 15 2012, 07:08 PM
FINALLY! =D this is so prettyyyyy!

The Bent One
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564 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 15 2012, 06:29 PM
ALL THE YES.

Comic Details -

 
Ended: Sep 22nd, 2012
Votes Cast: 27
Page Views: 819
 

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