FINALLY got a log in.

Anyway.

Thank you all for the critique, my anatomy has always been one of my biggest weaknesses in drawing and most consistent, and I do apologise for the poor composition in these pages, I am usually much better at camera angles then this.

I feel like both of you need to give yourselves more time to draw. Bobo, I have issues with pacing myself too, so I know what that's like. Gallo, all I will say is spend some time practicing anatomy.

Kura: Thanks for the critique! I have a bad habit of wanting to switch back and forth between two scenes. I think it might have worked better if I had been able to get more of the story done (I had to condense it a lot), but I agree that it would have flowed better to not have that page breaking into the middle of the other half of the story.

double post -_-

i had a bigger critique but it got lost when my internet died so now heres the condensed version.

bobo: i think the first and second pages should have been flipped around: ancelin enters her new apartment and then we are introduced to her uncle, instead of the scene jump between two locations back and forth.

gallo: condense your script please.  page 2 totally turned me off your entry. there were 15 word bubbles for a page that only had 4 panels. You should only have them say what is necessary (move the plot along), then move on.

Good to see you back in the saddle again, Gallo. You're trying to keep your work cleaner and push your backgrounds, which is good, but you still need more work on your lines and anatomy. If I can nitpick a little bit, you should really hit up the HOW TO MAKE WORD BUBBLES thread in the tutorial section in void and pick a better font for comics. It'll also help you with your word bubble composition, as there's a lot of small phrases floating in huge ol' bubbles.

Bobo, there's a lot of expression in your sketches, but it's unfortunate that you weren't able to finish. Better luck next time!

Bobo: Why yes, I do like these pencil sketches! The lack of detailed backgrounds kinda hurt it, but then life happened to you so that's understandable.

Gallo: The writing is funny and kinda coherent, but the fact that there's a lot of the same camera angles make it kinda hard to tell straight away where they are. The first three panels on page 3 kinda threw me off, and if it didn't have any dialogue, there's not much context you can infer there. Otherwise, anatomy (which I'm guilty of too) but I can see the promise here.

Also, hey, collab battles yay!

Comics uploaded, coloured but no time for shading.

Uploaded my awesome pencil sketches of a comic!
Between Wacky Races, school starting today, and my brother getting back from his 2-year mission last week, I didn't really have time to do as much as I would have liked, but I'm proud of what I did have time to finish.

May or may not be coloured and not as funny as I was hoping it was going to be. Ah well.

I don't know how finished this will be, but however far I get, I will be proud of it