Wizzie Belles vs. Nyasuu

Wizzie Belles vs. Nyasuu

Wizzie Belles vs. Nyasuu

52%
672 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10

Crit level: No preference

by Julz

48%
621 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Julz
Artist
371 comments
# 29   Posted: Jun 15 2012, 01:08 AM
Okeedok! Thank you for the solid criticism!!! <3
hats your character is a pleasure to use as well, and I'll prolly scatter her around my comic!

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 28   Posted: Jun 14 2012, 06:08 AM
Thanks for the battle Julienya! It's been fab, and your character is totally great.


Currently working away at the epilogue of this battle, I won't be doing any other comic until it's up soooo expect it around in the next couple of weeks.

Thresher
Artist
166 comments
# 27   Posted: Jun 13 2012, 08:00 PM
Hats:
Page 5 shot of Nyaasu seeing Wiz is an odd angle to choose, lots of negative space. Maybe have her a third of the way into the panel instead so we get more focus onto her expression?
The signs are cute.

This line less panels you're going for works pretty well, although I can't help but feel that the black lines around speech bubbles sort of defeated the overall effect. Maybe you use toned lines for that next time?

Your weakness in comics is once again backgrounds, alot of this was just toned space and I would like to see some more detailed panels from you at some point. You're also very straight forward with your work. What's happening is in the panel, rarely off screen and you usually have a panel for a single purpose. You could probably save space, time and make better panels if you crunch things a bit harder.

A good example is on page 2, where Wizzie is introduced. Having her introduced on a seperate page really divides her from the previous scene. If you dropped the previous two panels, had a more angled shot  of wiz entering the building you could put the exact same dialogue from the dropped shots into the Wiz entering the building panel and get the same effect as all three panels. You could even assert the position of Viv and Nyaasu in the building by having the speech bubbles come from a specific window.

The story is short and cute, but could probably have been told in less pages if you trimmed the fat. Should the exchange with Blake really take that long? I think you could have altered a few things and freed up time for other things.

That shot with angry Viv coming after Wiz looks awkward and flat, you can do better.  

The limited palette is working for you, and it'd be cool to see you do more of this in the future. You also seem to use some typical  shots. Stuff like 3/4 views and shoulders and up. Be more creative! There are angles for a reason.

Loving the fact that it's all so well polished btw, comics where the quality jumps all over the place annoy me no end.

Good job Hat's, you did well.


Julzjulzjulz
Cool to see an opening page, I think your composition could do with some work though. Pick what you want the cover to draw focus to and then work from there.

Can I just say, I love that you're pushing yourself with those backgrounds. These are far and above anything I saw you do in the invitational and really pop. That said, they are looking a loose and the buildings look like they lack form at times. With practice though, that's a hurdle you'll easily master and you'll be making some fine ass looking stuff.

Ack, your speechbubbles. Pick a style and stick with it. It doesn't have to be the conventional white with black outline ovals, but keep the style and only break it when you want to bring attention to something in particular.  Such as a scream. On a similar note, you seem to change panelling style every now and then. Now this is alright if it serves a purpose, such as lending character to a scene. However I can't find any such design to your work so it comes off as poor cohesiveness (couldn't think of a better word).

Your faces are very expressive, but be careful not to drop into emotional archetypes used in manga. It's lazy and you're better than that. Nothing else to say there, you do it well.

The montage scene could have been done with more structure, at the moment it looks like you've thrown some drawings of Nyaa in different clothes onto the page. Structure and form first, work out how you'll lead the eye and how well it flows before shoving the art in. Believe me, doing it the other way round does not work anywhere near a well.

Your lines feel sketchy at times, and much cleaner at others. Those cleaner lines are awesome.

Overall, I was surprised with your progress! I want to see more work form you, now gogogogo

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 26   Posted: Jun 12 2012, 11:21 AM
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thank you so much guys ;u; <3 <3

TINMAN
Artist
140 comments
# 25   Posted: Jun 12 2012, 09:26 AM
Hats: Brilliantly conceived radio programme of a getting to know you session with Nyassu, the dialogue is spot on back and forth and the banter between the three girls is killer. I love how you explore the radio station and pay attention to the little details of the mic and soundboard- clearly putting your production experience to work for you. The half tones and textures add a lot to an otherwise sparse line style but you keep you shots varied and hop styles often enough to keep it punchy. I'm interested to see where the the cat-sploitation will continue between the gals in the near future!


Julie: Another super fun tale akin to a John Hughes 80s brat pack flick with its chaotic dressing room montage, crazy quick cuts of fashion and fur in a flurry of fierce femininity! Great take on the interplay between female perspectives here, you've captured the intrigue of shopping well and the grimy environs of your color scheme work in juxtaposition to the pretty outfits and girls. Some of your lines could be tightened up consistency wise but this comic is leaps forward from your tourney comics. Stay on the upswing and thanks for the cameo of TJ!

Shen
Global Moderator
1280 comments
# 24   Posted: Jun 9 2012, 11:23 PM
oh my god can I just gives a million 10s to everybody because these are both so brilliant I could never pick between them

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1436 comments
# 23   Posted: Jun 9 2012, 12:23 PM
CAT.

Great job, both of you, very funny. :)

J.Vandermeer
Artist
61 comments
# 22   Posted: Jun 9 2012, 09:03 AM
I did a little bit of yipping about these comics in the chat, but I will reiterate--
Hats: You made a comment in the chat concerning your worry-- something about there not being a whole lotta dynamism in this piece?
Looks like nobody's worried about it but you, on this one. I think it's because the setting gives us a little handy narrative exposition, so GOOD JOB THERE-- actually, all in all, the writing behind this one was pretty great. It really carries the piece.

Julienya, you are a BAD PERSON and I love you. This comic needed to happen between these characters-- they're both the same kind of trouble and it's great to see them hanging out together. The only thing that really disappointed me is the fact that I disliked every outfit she tried on. Nyasuu needs a little black dress, I think!
So long, and thanks for the celery, kids.

Gibbo
Artist
82 comments
# 21   Posted: Jun 9 2012, 07:16 AM
Oh man, those were both so much fun to read, great work guys! :D

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 20   Posted: Jun 8 2012, 12:07 PM
@Fed: Thanks for the comments and support! I can't help giving Vivian so much space /it's that huge butt of hers/ (but in all seriousness, though she is in part 2 she's not in it no where as near as much as this battle).

@Kinu Gosh! Thank you so so so much! ;u;

@Atomic: Yeahhhh that panel was pretty risky I know what you mean! I just hoped by what they were saying you could guess who was saying what but I understand its a bit confusing. I'll need to work up on stuff like that.

@Qyzex: Couldn't agree more.

Qyzex
Artist
670 comments
# 19   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 01:02 PM
Celery and Vaginas

Atomicfish
Artist
116 comments
# 18   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 11:39 AM
Great comics ya'll!

Hats: Very funny and well executed. However, I had trouble on page 9, panel 1 with telling who's saying what, but I knew the characters so I got it. Poor nieve Nyasuu, this whole "Star child" thing can't end well...

Julie: Cute and funny. It's pretty cool that stunner-shades are a mandatory part of Nyasuu's character now. That staring foreshadowing cat creeps me out, btw.

Julz
Artist
371 comments
# 17   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 10:32 AM
Fed:JULIENYA: Another solid entry, even if the premise for the story is somewhat "cheap" - I love Nyasuu's expressions and acting, no wonder so many people have a soft spot for the character. As with Hats' story your ending feels a bit abrupt, going from "almost fighting" to "drinking margaritas" in the blink of a panel. I am sure you could've fitted a small catfight (you know.. for us guys) in between there.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find a spoon and physically remove the image of Jimmy, Ponch and the celery from my brain..
Quote

I figured a catfight between them for "the guys" would be cheap as well. As for the part with the celery, I dunno, grow a thicker skin? :p

Kinu
Artist
150 comments
# 16   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 10:08 AM
This was soooooooo worth the wait.

Hats: Your entry had a great blend of comedy, pacing, and style. I was really impressed by your paneling layout as well. And now I am eagerly anticipating your next entry with the whole star child thing. Amazing work!

Julz: Oh man, oh man. I've been seeing you work on it, but the finished result is greeat! I am not kidding, I could not stop laughing while I was reading yours, and I loved all of the easter eggs too. And all comedy aside, your pacing and storytelling has improved a ton since your last battle with me. I see the book helped you out a lot. Keep up the goodness, girl.

I seriously liked both of ya'll's enough to give ya all 10s. I know I'm not helping the score, but you both rocked the show. I'm getting pumped to work on mine now.

Fed
Artist
162 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 08:15 AM
Great effort from both of you! This is one battle where it will be hard to judge a winner.

HATS: Your art has always amazed me, and this is another wonderful effort from you. I'm almost afraid to imagine what your art will look like a few years down the line (when it's on display at Sothebys). I wish you had explored the implications of Wiz being the "star-child" a bit more, the ending feels abit abrupt**. Also, in my opinion, you're giving Viv too much space in the comic, we wanna see more Wizzie!!

JULIENYA: Another solid entry, even if the premise for the story is somewhat "cheap" - I love Nyasuu's expressions and acting, no wonder so many people have a soft spot for the character. As with Hats' story your ending feels a bit abrupt, going from "almost fighting" to "drinking margaritas" in the blink of a panel. I am sure you could've fitted a small catfight (you know.. for us guys) in between there.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find a spoon and physically remove the image of Jimmy, Ponch and the celery from my brain..

** reading Hats' comments below, I now realize the story is going to be expanded - still my comment stands, even a small implication of what it means to be the "star-child" just to wet our appetites for what will follow would be awesome!

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 08:04 AM
aahahahaha! Julie your entry is brilliant!! But I now can't get the mental images of Ponch/Jimmy or that cat out of my head.....Nyasuu you can rock that fro if you tried!!

My entry is, I suppose in a way to Julie's, part 1 - so it doesn't end there, the arc will be continuueeeed. But damn Jule's, your entry is super fab ;u; <3

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 7 2012, 06:41 AM
No thumbnails as I'm at work and don't have access to the ftp and won't until tonight.

Julz
Artist
371 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 6 2012, 10:54 AM
Uploaded XD gosh that was too much fun. I hope you guys like it ;D

Fed
Artist
162 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 6 2012, 06:47 AM
Soon..

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 5 2012, 12:20 PM
U-U-U-U-UPLOADED! It's been a blast just a damn shame life became a roadblock! Looking forward to the badassery of your entry Julie! Nyasuu is a super-fab character!

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 9   Posted: May 19 2012, 03:18 PM
Thanks! Im sorry void-bros! But a funeral, college deadlines, driving exams and such can really get on top of you! I'm giving it my best shot though! If I don't manage to complete this battle I'll be submitting a BB!

Ack. Work work work.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 8   Posted: May 19 2012, 12:13 PM
Extension granted, no more extensions can be granted on this battle.

Con
Artist
90 comments
# 7   Posted: May 6 2012, 08:07 PM
I am actually really excited to see this round guys. Do your best!

DelBarrio
Artist
426 comments
# 6   Posted: May 2 2012, 05:22 PM
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU BOTH

WHO DO I CHEER FOR??

I'll just cheer for myself then. GO MEEE~

Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 5   Posted: May 2 2012, 03:08 PM
SWAG OFF

Thresher
Artist
166 comments
# 4   Posted: May 2 2012, 01:00 PM
Kinuchio: Cat fight.

Hawt.
Quote

Damnit, Kinuchio! I was going to make that joke!

Orion
Artist
208 comments
# 3   Posted: May 2 2012, 11:57 AM
Dis' is gonna be... quite the smashing bout I say!

Cheerio!!

Kinu
Artist
150 comments
# 2   Posted: May 2 2012, 11:51 AM
Cat fight.

Hawt.

MyHatsEatPeople
Artist
394 comments
# 1   Posted: May 2 2012, 11:49 AM
Aaaawwww yes, Wiz is back on the fighting scene! Good luck Julienya :'D kick my butt with studded shades.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Jun 13th, 2012
Votes Cast: 29
Page Views: 1580
Winner: MyHatsEatPeople
 

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