Elle vs. Dr. Flan

Elle vs. Dr. Flan

Elle vs. Dr. Flan

352 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference

379 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 11   Posted: May 27 2012, 03:00 PM
You've gotten really good at placement and utilizing foreground, but if you're going to have a black and white comic you need to learn to use the blacks for more than shadows/dark objects. It's for form. I'd also like to see you set up the environment more clearly, an leading in shot of the abandoned boat in the middle of the swamp (I only got the swamp bit near the end).

I also don't think you should exposit the weapons AS they're used. They should either be foreshadowed or demonstrated. You should never need to tell us what they are and can do when they're being used.
A few more funky angles would have given more impact to your shots, like the rocket launcher-ed Flan.

I've seen you improve quite a bit, so keep on going! NEVER STOP

Like TDK, you also use some rather flat angles, with lots of head on shots. Alot of scenes lose impact due to that.
I like that 3 2 1 section, good work. Although the explosion has too little impact because of how you've arranged the panel and composed Elle.
Page 8 is awesome and I love it.
Alot of your multiple panel sequences could be displayed in a single shot, albeit a more ambitious shot. I'd reccomend trying to be smarter with what what you have.
That last page seems very empty to  me.

Overall, a good story and I enjoyed it. Looking forward to seeing more from you!

# 10   Posted: May 24 2012, 08:47 PM
TDK: Pretty cool setup with the strike team and the tactics involved in dropping a moist monster like Flan- great take on the beast. I think you excel at action even when some of your character are wonky. You've got a knack for pacing and cinematography I'd like to see you punch up with some heftier blacks and more diverse line weights. Smoother lines would help too, as you have some jagged spots here and there.

Sloth: I dig your atmospheric greys and the white accents among them. I like how you sort of furthered the plot from our battle and are carrying on Flans fish stick chomping ways. The Acid blood angle was nicely accomplished and your paneling is becoming stronger- much better sequentials and sense of place.

# 9   Posted: May 22 2012, 10:40 AM
TDK, I have been trying to gather my thoughts about your fight in order to give you anything resembling real feedback. So far, I have failed, but there are no comments on this battle so I'm just gonna come out and say it.
WOAH, MAN! WOAH! Where did this come from? You're improving like CRAZY! I wanna see more stuff of this calibre out of you, because clearly, you rose to the challenge on this one. The writing was laugh-out-loud hilarious, I loved your side-characters, and your action was very easy to follow.
If I had one critique, it would be this: I think you need more blacks in your work, because as it stands your pieces seem unbalanced. That being said, I am the wrong person to make suggestions on this front since I never use blacks at all. Ask Sloth, or better yet, Knomer, about this'un. They should be able to point you in the right direction.

Sloth: Bro. You already know, bro.

# 8   Posted: May 20 2012, 02:41 PM
12 hours is a gross exaggeration, but for the sake of soundin like I straight pimpin, imma just go with it. Ya, 12 hrs, muthas.

TDK, I really, really liked your comic. The dialogue cracked me up, and the serious action scenes were really cool. My favorite panel is the one that is essentially just Flan's eyes, but like... That panel is only awesome within the sequence, so I guess I love everything. Also, we both got Flan to eat a bomb and blow up. Classic. (Although, I gotta say, you blasting him like fireworks was way more entertaining.)

Thanks so much for a great battle!

# 7   Posted: May 18 2012, 09:46 AM
Haha, it's ok Sloth, Hiemie literally comes back seconds later. I kill him like 5 times in my Lotus comic.

Also, Apparently you did this in 12 hours!? How? This is great quality! The writing is good, the comic looks great. 12 hours eh? You'll do great in a SDT.

TDK: I'll say you wrote a nice comic. Your quality is slowly improving. You still need to work on your line densities. But hey, that takes time. I just think you need to make your lines seem more deliberate. Work on your form. Make your objects seem like they have weight and density.

Keep making comics you two!

# 6   Posted: May 17 2012, 11:14 PM
Yyeeaahh! Done and uploaded, feelin' pretty good about it.

Disclaimer: I do this because I love you, Hiemie.

Ten Dead Kings
# 5   Posted: May 17 2012, 08:13 PM

# 4   Posted: May 14 2012, 03:55 PM
Shut up, Hiemie.

I love you, too.

# 3   Posted: May 14 2012, 11:15 AM
I am looking forward to this. Flan is one of my favorite new guys!

Ten Dead Kings
# 2   Posted: May 7 2012, 07:37 PM
EDIT: Nevermind, my schedule just cleared up.

E.W. Schneider
# 1   Posted: Apr 28 2012, 06:23 PM
Wow, good luck here Dr. Flan! Careful juggling the tournament and this! Glad to see you back tdk!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: May 24th, 2012
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 1135
Winner: slothvert

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