Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 / Max, Maximus vs. Patricia Marquez

Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 / Max, Maximus vs. Patricia Marquez

Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 — Max, Maximus vs. Patricia Marquez

by AxeLord

702 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference

by (Pi)

610 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 18   Posted: Apr 16 2012, 09:57 PM
Axelord: There's alot to like with some of these faces and figures but the backgrounds are empty. Work on those more frequently and you'll definitely see an improvement.

Pi: I must confess I am reading through all these comics without looking at the Bios (WAY too many), so I don't know what's going on here, but the writing feels real, at least.

# 17   Posted: Apr 16 2012, 08:06 AM
Pi: Very concise writing and a different way of confronting Max's powers. It's effective but minimalistic so there's not much I can comment on.

Axelord: You've got a nice clean style going here and all the elements are in place. I like your lines and blacks, although you could do with some either finer lines or tones to add depth to your images. You have a good premise and you're very true to the characters, although who these other characters are isn't clear and they look sort of similar.

Your story framing is a bit unclear though, the fact that you need Max to explain things to Jeff betrays that confusion. As nice as his narrative theme is, it pads out the story a bit. Still you created a rather nice extended and meaty story here, great pacing so props for that.

# 16   Posted: Apr 13 2012, 12:02 PM
I am so torn on this one, I don't know what to say. This like comparing apples to oranges.

AxeLord, your art is lovely! The action is clear and the setting is well established. This is something a lot of people struggle with, so I'll give you props for it. That being said, your writing made your entry difficult to read. It may have been the small font size (zooming in is distracting, and takes away from your pacing) or it may have been the sheer amount of unnessecary text. In comics, concepts tend to be more understandable when the viewer is shown what's going on, not told. Your concept was a little complicated and overcrowded to begin with, and I also thought the stubble vampire was the knocked out kid gone psycho. I suggest simplifying and streamlining your writing to the essentials, next time.

Pi, your entry's strengths and weaknesses were entirely opposite to your opponent's. Your writing was spot on-- I really enjoyed the character interaction and the situation was entirely believable. It was very "slice of life", so thank-you for that. Your art, on the other hand, has suffered. I understand you've been on a hiatus of sorts. Get back on the horse, because I remember reading your old fights and really enjoying them.

# 15   Posted: Apr 11 2012, 08:06 PM
Axelord-You did a good job on the characters and your action was easy to understand. One thing I would watch out for is font size. The choice of font itself is fine, I just occasionally had a difficult time reading the text itself because it was too small.

Pi-It looks like your humans have improved but your pacing has gone downhill some. I understand you had a week and you aren't going to be churning out your best work ever so I hope you take the chance to use this character to continue working on comics.

# 14   Posted: Apr 11 2012, 11:33 AM
Axe: Your inner dialogue with Max is charming. Sometimes your action angles are cramped and awkward, but otherwise this is a fine start. Sometimes Max's cursing seems forced.  Especially since you censor the language. It's my opinion, but I don't think you should censor the word "fuck" especially since you so heavily imply it. It might even make the swearing feel more natural. It also took me a bit to realize the other guy was a third vampire and not just the other guy grew a beard and went nuts. Haha, it's still good though, you characterised your opponent well. Just keep drawing.

Pi: Wow, you got really rusty. I have to say it. I swear you can do better. Nothing much entirely happens, and I feel like your padding pages on the start and finish almost hurt the comic more than help. I know if you're rusty, a one week deadline can be daunting. You are a busy guy and I know that. I know a few more comics and you'll be back in the swing of things.

# 13   Posted: Apr 11 2012, 03:45 AM
Axe: Great job establishing the scene with your first page. The action scenes looked solid with a good sense of movement, I did find it a little difficult following what was going on though. Overall, great start to the tournament!

Pi: I was a big fan of Dr Pye so was keen to see you in action again. Can tell that time was an issue but the writing's good and it was an interesting approach to Axe's character!

# 12   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:02 PM
Axe, you did awesome for not doing many comics! I feel where you're coming from. Just read lots/draw lots and you'll improve much more. I enjoyed everything else about your entry.

Pi, yours was really well written and I liked the art. The perspective could use some work, but overall I liked yours too. (Patricia is a cool character idea)

# 11   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 01:11 PM
Thanks Pi, I had trouble in the past properly balancing character focus (putting to much on my own versus my opponents). I tried to focus more on that here. Now I see that my pacing is an achilles heel of mine. Keep trying to fit an epic into a short story (not that I write epics lol). If I can control the pacing then I should have more time to put details into the drawing.

I did thoroughly enjoy your interpretation of Max. I was afraid I was SUPER unclear with his mental state, but you did a superb job. Now this is probably because of the time constraint, but your comic felt empty. Not enough in the back grounds. Mine is no better in some spots, and I'm trying to be more conscious of filling in minor details to give a balanced look. Also, and this is minor, Max and Patricia are the same height. Max felt taller in several panels, just something to watch out for.

# 10   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:29 AM
no worries, Axe, your art looks pretty solid to me! i'm still shaking the ring rust off myself, drawing comics is something i haven't done in a while and it shows (and a one week deadline probably didn't help, haha). BUT, i'm pretty proud of what i did, considering the circumstances, so feel free to crit and comment without worries.

Axe, i really like the way you portrayed patricia, i think it hit just the right balance between sensitive and firm. the action scenes and poses were a bit awkward here and there, particularly the stubble vamp just coming out of nowhere and the dynamic poses on pg4-5. if you haven't read it, "drawing comics the marvel way" has a great little section on getting the most out of every pose, definitely worth getting just for that. otherwise, i really like your rendering, and the textures on the walls were a nice touch. keep it up, i'll be looking forward to your comics in the future.

# 9   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:12 AM
Fed: Yeah, I don't actually do a lot of comic drawing. That is my real weakness here, a lack of experience. But I hope to get more through this opportunity.

# 8   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:03 AM
Axelord: Great stuff, your art is just amazing and some of the panels are just amazing to my untrained eyes.. but your story confuses me somewhat.. I get the overall idea, but it jumps a bit harshly from panel to panel.. IMHO anyways

Pi: Your art is fine, your story is fine, but that's just it.. nothing to really, really make it "OMPH".. Solid showing nonetheless

# 7   Posted: Apr 8 2012, 08:21 PM
Al lrighty, I'm uploaded. Long story short I may have bit off more than I could chew with this first round. But, I don't do this often so I never really had a feel for what timing I would require. Quality suffered some unfortunately.

Good Luck Pi :3

# 6   Posted: Apr 8 2012, 08:21 PM
Al lrighty, I'm uploaded. Long story short I may have bit off more than I could chew with this first round. But, I don't do this often so I never really had a feel for what timing I would require. Quality suffered some unfortunately.

Good Luck Pi :3

# 5   Posted: Apr 2 2012, 08:41 AM
Thanks Orange :3

Good luck to you Pi, I've never made it past the first round in an OCT before so I'm super nervous.

# 4   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 09:36 PM
and here... we... go.

# 3   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 06:13 PM

Good luck to you too Axelord!

# 2   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 01:56 PM
Thanks RoflQu, I hope to bring my A game an more to this competition.

E.W. Schneider
# 1   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 11:35 AM
Oh man. Welcome back Pi! Let's show the new crowd how it's done!

Good luck on your first battle Axelord!

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Apr 16th, 2012
Votes Cast: 40
Page Views: 1062
Winner: AxeLord

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