Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 / Tsumi vs. Catch Me If You Can

Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 / Tsumi vs. Catch Me If You Can

Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 — Tsumi vs. Catch Me If You Can

895 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

709 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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Community Manager
# 16   Posted: Apr 16 2012, 09:50 PM
otakutaylor: Not bad, now you need to fill up all that white with something!

Tomoe Itachi: pages are a bit on the big side, and you've got the same problem as otaku: take care of all that white space.

# 15   Posted: Apr 12 2012, 09:37 PM
Otaku- Very clean and clear line work and intelligent framing, I must give you props. Your models could use a bit of definition from some varying line weights and I think that's the next step you need to take. Your story telling ability is quite good, although you could do with some more impactful choreography for your blows if you're gonna strut a body builder chick. You've got a good sense of camera, keep it moving and perhaps work on your expressions some.

Tomoe- I caught a bit of a stylish gunfight there and I know I liked that bit. I couldn't be sure if the engrish was intentionally bad or not, nor make sense out of the in cohesive plot. Your characters style is rather hip and I like your forms, but you need to plan out your storytelling with some thumbnails and make sure it all flows smoothy and understandably. Even without words as all they did was confuse things here.

# 14   Posted: Apr 11 2012, 08:03 PM
otaku-This is a big step up for you! I was very impressed as this was the best I've seen from you in the time I've seen your work. The dialogue came across as very natural and the story flowed fairly well. The main thing I would suggest is to try and vary your linewidths some as everything currently has pretty much the same linewidth. I think even adding some simple shading or some solid blacks could help give your work more depth.

Tomoe-You were off to a good start! I think it would have worked better to move the action on page 3 to its own page, because right now essentially splitting the page into two sections doesn't quite work. Even though I understand the comic is unfinished, I found the action difficult to follow because it was so vague.

# 13   Posted: Apr 10 2012, 11:13 AM
Taylor: I really enjoyed this. It's a great beginning to the site. You did your opponents well and set your own character's tone well. The banter is great actually! I felt it ended abruptly, and I know this may not be intentional but the hitting one with the other then ending there was absolutely hilarious. Like "We don't need to show any more. Musclegal just beat the shit out of them with each other." Fun comic. Hahaha. Your backgrounds are nice too and your lines are so clean.

Tomoe: What exactly happened in this comic? I understand it's hard to work with short deadlines sometimes. Just try harder next time and give yourself more time to work. Also, shrink your pages, please.

Evil Eye
# 12   Posted: Apr 10 2012, 12:03 AM
Otaku: Well, I see that advice certainly wasn't unheeded.  Your confrontation here grew right out of what was established by the story and served just fine as an exclamation mark.  See what I meant?  Haha.  Anyway, it works for what it was.  The ending felt a bit rushed and inconclusive, but I feel like that was probably just the deadline crashing up behind you.  The pleasant surprise here was that you were able to characterize Tsumi with this whole situation, as this sincere well-meaning behemoth in a world made of cardboard.  You left me with a distinct impression of what the character is like, which is something I can't often say for fight-centric comics, so good job on that.  

Tomoe: Hmmmm.  Well, it's incomplete, obviously, but it had other issues.  I didn't really have any idea what was going on at all or where you were going with it.  As best I could tell, the opponent character showed up, and then they attack and defeat her immediately?  It's hard to say.  That's an educated guess.  It was a bit of a mess.  I'm sure you would have done better with more time though; good thing Void will still be here for your characters if you don't win this round, with all sorts of longer deadline options!  Spend a little more time on planning everything - pages, planning, writing, paneling, and of course, the art itself.   Time management is also important.  That will make all the difference I think.

man guess who's still not finished his paper or studying for that exam THIS GUY

# 11   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:15 PM
Tomoe, you gots lots to work on from what I do see. I couldn't really tell what was going on, sadly. Perspective, anatomy, pacing, etc. But I know you can improve. Looking forward to seeing what you can do!

Nice work, Otaku. I would've liked to see some some sort of grays or anything to bring the lines to life. Overall I enjoyed your entry. Good work you two!

1 comment
# 10   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 08:59 PM
toeme itachi:I think   that something it´s something, is really good.
pity you could not finish

# 9   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 02:53 PM
Otakutaylor, I honestly didn't expect this level of quality, based on your character sheet... Consider me pleasantly surprised! Great work.

Tomoe, sorry to hear you couldn't get yours finished. Thanks for putting forth what you had, and better luck in the future!

Tomoe Itachi
1 comment
# 8   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 02:37 PM
omg and the first page has uploaded wrong ?! D: sorry about the inconveniences guys, I've been really busy ; _ ; if I get on another battle, even if I don't win this, I promise to do how it meant to be and do my best! >__< So much luck Otakutaylor, you really deserve to win >_< and sorry for my bad english, this isn't my mother tongue and I'm still learning x w x

# 7   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 09:57 AM
Double post

# 6   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 09:57 AM
Otakutaylor: Nice to finally see Tsumi in action.. Didn't disappoint, but a few things to comment on still: I wished you'd experiment with your ink a bit more, different lineweights and shadows would add a lot to your art. And the final page in the fight seems inconclusive.. just my two cents

Tomoe Itachi: this is.. confusing.. Your art is great, your pacing and writing lacking.. shame you ran out of time, I am sure you would've done great if you had a bit more time to tighten up

# 5   Posted: Apr 7 2012, 05:02 PM
And.... Submitted! Oh gosh I'm so excited! I can't wait to get my butt kicked, hehe. I hope I did your characters some justice and good luck Tomoe!

Mister Kent
# 4   Posted: Apr 5 2012, 01:36 PM
I love both your concepts/characters--Best O' Luck!

# 3   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 06:13 PM

# 2   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 01:51 PM
Good luck! ^^

E.W. Schneider
# 1   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 11:34 AM
Best of luck you two! Let's see it happen!

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Apr 16th, 2012
Votes Cast: 53
Page Views: 1205
Winner: otakutaylor

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