Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 / Joel and Becca vs. Johnny Patch

Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 / Joel and Becca vs. Johnny Patch

Invitational Tournament 2012: Round 1 — Joel and Becca vs. Johnny Patch

by adimal

45.3%
723 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference

54.7%
874 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Jetty Jay
Artist
151 comments
# 20   Posted: Apr 16 2012, 09:37 PM
Thanks again for all the feedback. I will definitely be taking it all on board, and should hopefully be able to improve on everything brought up (a bit?) given that I have more time on my hands now!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 19   Posted: Apr 16 2012, 06:55 PM
adimal: Interesting but feels over too quickly for me I suppose.

jetster: this is nice for short IMO, with a cute punchline. I think you know what elements of your figure drawing need improvement so just keep working.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 18   Posted: Apr 15 2012, 06:54 PM
adimal-short and sweet, I liked the action on the last page. You might want to stay away from the soft coloring because it's not doing your lines any favors.

Jetster-I like the style and simple colors in this comic a lot. One thing that would help you is zooming out some. When you got to the action scenes I had a hard time telling what was going on because you primarily had zoomed in shots. It's okay to zoom in in action scenes, just it's important to throw in a zoomed out shot here in there to make the action clearer.

adimal
Artist
4 comments
# 17   Posted: Apr 10 2012, 03:13 PM
Oh, don't mind me then.  Thanks everyone for the excellent critiques.

slothvert
Artist
71 comments
# 16   Posted: Apr 10 2012, 02:32 PM
adimal: Heh, I guess this isn't clear, but I intended this comic to be taking place at night.  Can't really explain why, but that's how I envisioned it.  I'm sure it might have been more clear had I chosen to do color.
Quote

I absolutely got that it's happening at night. I think choosing a wider rage of greys would have accomplished the look a little more effectively; as it is, everything is kind of mid-tone. Don't be afraid to go to near-black for the darkest areas, and strong clean light areas where you want to draw focus, to really make those things "pop". If you're using photoshop, or other similar apps, try playing around with adjust>brightness/contrast, just to see what looks most effective to you.

adimal
Artist
4 comments
# 15   Posted: Apr 10 2012, 12:18 PM
Heh, I guess this isn't clear, but I intended this comic to be taking place at night.  Can't really explain why, but that's how I envisioned it.  I'm sure it might have been more clear had I chosen to do color.

Hiemie
Artist
511 comments
# 14   Posted: Apr 10 2012, 11:24 AM
Adi: Very brief comic. Gets the point across though, although I'd enjoy seeing something with more meat to it. Your comic is also intensely dark, and it feels that way to cover some of your linework up. Most I can say really is keep practicing. I enjoyed some of your angles and your banter was quality. It's a good comic, there just needs to be more.

Jets: Your comic is a bit crammed, and the action is a bit confusing. I know I've been telling everyone this, but work on how your characters are positioned in a 3d space. You got a good start. I love the colors in this, and the writing is charming. And I think he would be a good leader of the Poop Town Idiots.

TINMAN
Artist
140 comments
# 13   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 11:34 PM
Adimal- rather brief but solid fight, definitely felt the tension of the butterfly knife fight, greyscales were well done to set the tone as concise as your comic was.

Jetster- crazy colors and style going on. The pacing of the pole spin kick was off tho- I find four panels works best: Action (leap) Bigger Action (grabbing pole) Little Action to give the climax more punch(cracking a smile/boot gleaming) BIGGEST ACTION (impact of the kick). You definitely got me laughing tho, props.

Kinu
Artist
150 comments
# 12   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:30 PM
I enjoyed both of these, and while yours had some decent action Adimal, I think you should work on your gestures a bit more. Jetster, yours made me laugh. I can't really pick at the anatomy, because it fit the goofy nature of your entry. And you win at quality for coloring. Great job, you two! I had fun reading these.

Jetty Jay
Artist
151 comments
# 11   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 05:52 PM
Aw no way! Still early days yet Adimal. Your comic is looking great and I think the experiments are worth it! I'm glad you got it in despite all the issues you were having.

@Con: I did thumbnail it out, but this is my first time completing a comic so I'm still figuring things out. This feedback is awesome, thanks to you and everyone else :)

adimal
Artist
4 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 05:16 PM
Things are looking good for you, Jetster.  Poopy Town Losers is appropriate.

I did a lot of experimenting with this, especially the toning.  I'm mostly a penciller and I think it shows.

slothvert
Artist
71 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 01:37 PM
I got a couple of laughs out of your comic, Jetster, and you really went for broke with the amount of stuff happening in each scene. Nice!

Adimal, your line work and action is good, but I think stronger contrasts could have helped it along quite a bit.

Good showing, both of you! Best of luck!

Con
Artist
92 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 10:07 AM
Adimal, I like your style but I think your first scene could use some more dynamic angles. The panel you left off with was about the strongest one in your comic which is good, but I wish we could have seen some more fighting rather than just some shadowed figures.

Jetster, I agree about your panels making for some odd pacing. Are you laying everything out before you go about pulling it all together? I also think that pulling out and showing more of the body might help in a couple of shots to show what's really happening there.

Good job guys.

Fed
Artist
162 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 9 2012, 09:46 AM
Adimal: Short, sweet and to the point.. What more could you ask for? I like the way you portrayed Johnny in the story

Jetster: Could have used a bit of "trimming", remove a few panels here and there for better pacing.. Good work overall, the last page made me laugh

Jetty Jay
Artist
151 comments
# 6   Posted: Apr 4 2012, 06:35 AM
Commenting here to say my battle has been uploaded.

Thresher
Artist
166 comments
# 5   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 07:05 PM
The bestest of luck!

Jetty Jay
Artist
151 comments
# 4   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 06:53 PM
Best of luck!

(the luckiest thread)

Charlie
Artist
730 comments
# 3   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 06:11 PM
To continue the train....

Best of luck!

adimal
Artist
4 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 04:33 PM
Best of luck!

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1059 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 1 2012, 11:34 AM
This looks like it's going to be a fun set up. Good luck!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Apr 16th, 2012
Votes Cast: 51
Page Views: 989
Winner: Jetty Jay
 

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