Intro Story / Pyko Ransimo

Intro Story / Pyko Ransimo

Intro Story — Pyko Ransimo

by PONBIKI


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Critiques & Comments
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anonymous
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91 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 3 2011, 09:39 PM
No clue as to whats going (I think dude got sucked into a box so hes S.O.L. lol) but the art style is great and I love the fact that you word bubble are drawn not photo-shopped.

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
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462 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 3 2011, 08:14 PM
I kind of get it after multiple read-throughs.. Maybe just add some more transitional shots for complex actions..?  Or perhaps mystery was the goal, either way I look forward to finding out more about this dude.  Nice art and cool stuff happening with the lettering!

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 1 2011, 06:36 AM
Like I said in the incubator, the art's slick. This is about the fourth time I've been through it though & I still don't think I'm entirely sure what's going on.

PONBIKI
Artist
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183 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 31 2011, 05:40 AM
Kevin Birtcher: I'm not sure I get what's happening, but I love the art style.
Quote


lol np man... thing will get interesting...and probably more confusing...but its planned that way.  things will change around here trust me.  and im glad you like the art. thanks.

-Elio- there will be more sound effects and such.. intros are hard i guess to help kick off a character like this one.

Kevin Birtcher
Allfather
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289 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 30 2011, 09:42 PM
I'm not sure I get what's happening, but I love the art style.

Elio
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48 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 29 2011, 09:36 PM
Looks cool dude.

With something that abstract, you for sure need a type of narration to describe what is going on. Or at the very least, sound effects.

Iketeruguy
Artist
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220 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 29 2011, 05:18 AM
Cool, man.  I'm looking forward to it.  You know I'm a fan!

PONBIKI
Artist
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183 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 29 2011, 12:43 AM
Thanks Brock.

I was trying to not put any heavy black into it to tell them apart. Maybe I should have had darkened
Tre's triangles to tell them apart easier. sorry about my after thoughts on some sound fx. There is a
Reason why Treneton doesn't speak in this. But if I tell ya then I would ruin my story.
Anyways thank you fir the crits. I'll do my best to make this a wonderful comic, That everyone
Can enjoy.

Iketeruguy
Artist
icon
220 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 28 2011, 07:18 AM
I really love this new character you've come up with.  I think that the evolution of your style for this comic works great for him.  That said I do have a few issues with this intro story.  

The most glaring of which was that I couldn't tell what was happening beyond a superficial level on my first read through.  I actually had to read Pyko's bio to tell what was happening in the comic.  That might have been fixed by giving Treneton some expository dialogue.  After reading the bio and re-reading the comic I still don't exactly know what's happening on the last page.  You mention in the bio that someone finds Pyko's box 500 years later and I think that should have been shown in addition to that scene if not instead of it.  Finally, I don't know if this is integral to the design of the group Pyko's affiliated with, but I feel like there should have been something done from a design perspective to distinguish Pyko and Treneton more.  I think adding some black elements to Treneton would've made him stand out more so the reader would always know who he was looking at.

Still, beyond those things you're art is amazing.  I really do love the feel you've developed with this.  It's almost European in a way.  It's really great and I can't wait to see you develop it more.  Good work and great new character!

      Edited Mar 28 2011,  07:22 AM by Iketeruguy

Comic Details -

 
Ended: Apr 4th, 2011
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