Doodle Dan vs. Turtle

Doodle Dan vs. Turtle

Doodle Dan vs. Turtle

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Critiques & Comments
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jethro-tullzy
Artist
13 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 23 2010, 01:21 PM
Grossly underestimated the amount of work I had during this battle- Biig apology to psychosean. Sorry I wasn't able to match you with some work on my side D:

Revelarts
21 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 19 2010, 02:28 PM
PyrasTerran: way to go!
Psycho Sean, points on creativity for telling the dialogue through picture bubbles, even though some of them I didn't exactly get.
Quote
Agreed!
others have hit on technical crits that are valid
But IMO it's got a Very expressive and cool energy. Keep that going!


Vain
Artist
11 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 18 2010, 02:53 AM
page 6 panel 2 I thought he was expressing confusion about a turd. then I realised it was the rope lulz.

exsidus
24 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 17 2010, 06:53 PM
kinda hard to follow up after all of that but yea i see what RoflQu is saying. to bad you didnt get anything up jethro, maybe next time. nicely done though Psycho Sean.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1060 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 17 2010, 01:11 PM
PsychoSean: It's good you're fighting again.

Okay, there's steps forward and steps back in this battle. Once again, it's nice that you're not doing that line-shading you've tried in the past on every page. However, the spots you are doing them on aren't too strong either. Looking at the way you do them, I can tell it's a rushed back and forth back and forth pattern that ends up making V's instead of l's. Next time you try these hatching lines, don't go back and forth. Choose a direction and hold to it, it'll help it look less scribbly.

Your speech bubbles and narrative were unclear. When it comes to doing picture-speech bubbles or a made-up language, you have to show instead of say. You expected a bit too much from us in some of these bubbles. I kind of got the gist of the narrative, but the speech bubbles weren't too much of a help in spots.

Your coloring needs a LOT of work. If you're going to do markers or any kind of traditional media, then don't rush with it. Make sure you don't break out of the lines you've created, it just ends up looking sloppy and hurting your stuff more. Also, don't point out that you colored his clothing wrong and then point out you rectified it. You're cluttering up your art with that, especially putting it directly on your art. You should have ultimately just accepted that he had a red shirt and moved on.

Your anatomy is still in need of work. Especially faces. Last page has what I thought was a one-off for when you fought Lucy, but it's obvious you have some issues there. You're putting the mouth and lips far too down on the face. You drew Turtle with essentially no jaw to speak of. Your bodies could use a more brushing up, too. I would pull up some examples or get a friend or family member to pose and just try drawing their faces in various ways.

I liked that you kept on using Ziggy, it felt like a sort of continuation from your All-Together Now! fight and while I didn't get the story, I can appreciate your continued use of him in Doodle Dan's own story. You've made some improvements here, but you still have a lot of areas to work on. I can't wait to see your next fight.

jethro-tullzy: Hey, tough luck. Hopefully we see something solid from you in the future.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 17 2010, 10:57 AM
way to go!



Psycho Sean, points on creativity for telling the dialogue through picture bubbles, even though some of them I didn't exactly get.

jethro-tullzy
Artist
13 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 21 2010, 03:47 PM
Happy to get back to some battling! I'll be giving this my all!

Orion
Artist
211 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 18 2010, 10:35 PM
Alright Jethro! Good to see you back in the game.

Can't wait to see what you two have in store. :)

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1060 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 18 2010, 01:28 PM
Hey, awesome to see you guys back in the game! I await A+ quality from you two.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Dec 23rd, 2010
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 1015
Winner: Sean Patrick Kelly
 

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