@ Rek: It's been mentioned before, but there are a lot of strange things going on with the anatomy of a few of the characters in your art. Boek's especially in the scenes where he is running. Overall, the story was nice.
@ Cherubas: I always like reading your comics, it was really cool of you to try to do an action based comic this time. As mentioned, backgrounds need work though some things are overly simplified and flat.
Looking forward to seeing the next comics from the both of you.
Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 / Sammy Bertchwood vs. Boek
Critiques & Comments
# 37
Posted:
Aug 19 2010, 08:54 PM
# 36
Posted:
Aug 18 2010, 06:42 PM
Cherubas: Comic? what comic? The thumbnails make you win.
Rek: You have a superscooter. You win too. Just a bit less. XD
More seriously, rek, the story was really cute, pacing okay, though it couldve used more suspence. I would've liked the naration to follow us more, it kinda just pops out of nowhere at the end.
Cherubas, you did me proud, son. I cant wait for Boek's next crazy adventures! I like how you make Sammy look like a total badass. It's generally not bad, but I'd be cautious for dynamism in the poses. Though most were good, some, like when the robot smacks Boek, dont let all the info out properly.
Rek: You have a superscooter. You win too. Just a bit less. XD
More seriously, rek, the story was really cute, pacing okay, though it couldve used more suspence. I would've liked the naration to follow us more, it kinda just pops out of nowhere at the end.
Cherubas, you did me proud, son. I cant wait for Boek's next crazy adventures! I like how you make Sammy look like a total badass. It's generally not bad, but I'd be cautious for dynamism in the poses. Though most were good, some, like when the robot smacks Boek, dont let all the info out properly.
# 35
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 02:50 PM
"Mr.Awesome vs Everything" I'd play that game - that's the second idea from someone else's battle I need to use XD
# 34
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 02:23 PM
Not bad, lot of potential here.
Rek: Level up! But now I highly suggest you start practicing the basics, perspective, anatomy, anything you can do and get your hands on would be good. Story was OK, the standard buddy comic, I ain't complaining.
Cherubas: It's awesome that you're using less pages, and your quality has stepped up big time. Now you should try to work on trimming down unnecessary text when you can. It always helps to read your dialogue aloud in order to weed out what sounds awkward or sounds too long winded. If possible, you should also try to get some real life references from wherever you can get some (pics of Chicago and New York help out greatly when drawing a big city). But so far this has been a tremendous level up for the both of you. Vote went to you however.
Keep at it!
Rek: Level up! But now I highly suggest you start practicing the basics, perspective, anatomy, anything you can do and get your hands on would be good. Story was OK, the standard buddy comic, I ain't complaining.
Cherubas: It's awesome that you're using less pages, and your quality has stepped up big time. Now you should try to work on trimming down unnecessary text when you can. It always helps to read your dialogue aloud in order to weed out what sounds awkward or sounds too long winded. If possible, you should also try to get some real life references from wherever you can get some (pics of Chicago and New York help out greatly when drawing a big city). But so far this has been a tremendous level up for the both of you. Vote went to you however.
Keep at it!
# 33
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 08:10 AM
Rek, yeah an overall thing most the tourney people are having problems with is the backgrounds. And that's to be expected since you're all new here and 1 week deadlines are rough. Hell, I have issues doing good backgrounds with 4 week deadlines haha so I totally understand. It's just something to make sure you work on.
# 32
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 02:26 AM
@Angie: Yeah, Phillip C had commented on my last comic that I should try to make do with fewer pages so I was trying to minimize the number and ended up with a bit of info-cramming. I'll have to find a happy medium in the future. And unfortunately, yes, I was losing steam near the end. We all know life happens so I won't go into detail, but long story short I figured reduced quality pages were better than a default. XD
@Rek: Sorry about the gender mistake. I was in a sleep deprived delirium when I typed that up because I was afraid if I slept saturday night I wouldn't finish in time for the deadline, so I put on some Hanson and powered through the wee hours. I gotta say though, you really nailed Boek spot on. That was beautifully written and absolutely adorable and you did a great job of capturing what I was going for with the character. Even in the thumbnails, I can't look at it without smiling. You've been a great opponent.
As for my thumbnails... Well, they were made at the very end of my time without sleep. At the time the idea was hilarious, but at the time not much wasn't.
@Rek: Sorry about the gender mistake. I was in a sleep deprived delirium when I typed that up because I was afraid if I slept saturday night I wouldn't finish in time for the deadline, so I put on some Hanson and powered through the wee hours. I gotta say though, you really nailed Boek spot on. That was beautifully written and absolutely adorable and you did a great job of capturing what I was going for with the character. Even in the thumbnails, I can't look at it without smiling. You've been a great opponent.
As for my thumbnails... Well, they were made at the very end of my time without sleep. At the time the idea was hilarious, but at the time not much wasn't.
# 31
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:37 AM
Wow! Just wow! I'm so EXCITED! 8D Alright time to start commenting! *cracks fingers*
@Boek: ...you...my friend...HAVE MADE MY DAY. I seriously couldn't stop smiling and giggling a thing or two. x> I love Sammy in your style and the title page...I wanna print it out and hang it up on my wall that's how much I love it. ;; I do wanna point out one thing about the last page in your artist comments...*giggles* I'm actually a 'female'. xDD But good guessing. x> *hugs* You've been such a wonderful opponent and I was very surprised that you colored it! It was a happy surprise though. <8 This is gonna be a close match and lol for your thumbnails. xD
@Angie: Thank you SO much for putting up the thumbnails and your awsome comments! ;; Expressions are my main strength in art. Backgrounds, colors are a super pain in the arse for me. Dx I could've done a lot more with my pages I really could've but I just ran out of time. :/ I'll keep those panels ideas in mind for sure next time I battle! I should seriously buy some comic guide art books for myself. >>;
@Boek: ...you...my friend...HAVE MADE MY DAY. I seriously couldn't stop smiling and giggling a thing or two. x> I love Sammy in your style and the title page...I wanna print it out and hang it up on my wall that's how much I love it. ;; I do wanna point out one thing about the last page in your artist comments...*giggles* I'm actually a 'female'. xDD But good guessing. x> *hugs* You've been such a wonderful opponent and I was very surprised that you colored it! It was a happy surprise though. <8 This is gonna be a close match and lol for your thumbnails. xD
@Angie: Thank you SO much for putting up the thumbnails and your awsome comments! ;; Expressions are my main strength in art. Backgrounds, colors are a super pain in the arse for me. Dx I could've done a lot more with my pages I really could've but I just ran out of time. :/ I'll keep those panels ideas in mind for sure next time I battle! I should seriously buy some comic guide art books for myself. >>;
# 30
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 10:56 PM
Rektheartist-I really like your expressions and the story was a nice read. I thought the interaction between the two characters was cute. But one thing you should consider working on is your panel layout. You have a lot of white space all over the place and seem a little uncertain about how panels should work. Like the top part of page 2 those little bitty panels should have been a lot bigger since they kind of serve as little establishing shots. Like I know you were trying to show that they were quick scenes and sure, panel size is the way to do it. But typically for stuff involving backgrounds you're going to want the panels to be larger.
Cherubas-I really enjoyed the comic but I think you could have broken up the text just a little better. Like I feel like pages 4 and 5 you were trying to get a lot of information in there and it would have worked better to either make some of the larger panels into several smaller ones to break up the pacing some, or just cut out a little of the text. You had some awesome expressions in this, especially in the fight scene, but it was obvious you started to lose steam at the end.
Cherubas-I really enjoyed the comic but I think you could have broken up the text just a little better. Like I feel like pages 4 and 5 you were trying to get a lot of information in there and it would have worked better to either make some of the larger panels into several smaller ones to break up the pacing some, or just cut out a little of the text. You had some awesome expressions in this, especially in the fight scene, but it was obvious you started to lose steam at the end.
# 29
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 04:15 PM
Got them, gmail was throwing them in the spam folder for some reason
# 28
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 03:42 PM
Great... Gmail must be getting funky. It's telling me they were sent and telling you that they weren't. It just wants to keep them all to itself. I'll try sending again then.
# 27
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 03:20 PM
Cherubas: Alright. A little late to the party, but I submitted my stuff and sent my thumbnails. If I lose now it will be because of Rek's awesomeness rather than my not-submit-on-timeness.
PK Relax!
Quote
I never received your thumbs!
# 26
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 02:24 PM
@Cherubas: Arg! I think this will be a close battle. D: I don't care weather or not I win or lose...ok I kinda do since the rest of the month is going to be very busy for me. >_>; But hey! We had a few stressed out moments but in the end I think we both had fun doing this!
# 25
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 11:10 AM
Alright. A little late to the party, but I submitted my stuff and sent my thumbnails. If I lose now it will be because of Rek's awesomeness rather than my not-submit-on-timeness.
PK Relax!
PK Relax!
# 24
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 03:11 AM
Just submitted my pages and emailed Angie the thumbnails. I have to say...this was a rather difficult battle for me I had just barely enough time to finish everything and I even got to finish coloring my title page. ;; Cherubas...Boek was just too adorable for words. <3333 I had such a fun time drawing him and his wicked awsome teleportation powers! :'D So I wanted to thank you personally for letting me draw him! x> Now...to do stuff I've been meaning to do finally then get sleep...a lot of it.
# 23
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 02:13 AM
Good luck cats, can't wait to see it tonight.
# 22
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 01:04 AM
See?? D8 Your already getting me excited! ;; I think your gonna like my thumbnail sketch I did. <8
# 21
Posted:
Aug 14 2010, 10:28 PM
I'll give you a preview clip:
"who thought this"
That's an ACTUAL piece of an ACTUAL sentence ACTUALLY located somewhere in my comic. Just to get people excited.
"who thought this"
That's an ACTUAL piece of an ACTUAL sentence ACTUALLY located somewhere in my comic. Just to get people excited.
# 20
Posted:
Aug 14 2010, 05:21 PM
Nice. Well done, sir.
# 19
Posted:
Aug 14 2010, 04:42 PM
Hey guys I have just about one more comic page left then I'm gonna do the title page THEEEN I should be able to submit it tonight. :'D Angie I'll send you the thumbnails (giantthankstoAirlightforhelpingme) when I finish all my stuff. 8D This is a fun match-up! <3
# 18
Posted:
Aug 14 2010, 10:07 AM
Very fun matchup!
# 17
Posted:
Aug 12 2010, 01:38 AM
"B" good sir. Lmao! xDD It's a cow lick, a small tiny side effect from his science experiments done on him.
# 16
Posted:
Aug 12 2010, 01:22 AM
Well I'm glad you're having success, even if it's a challenge. I'll try not to disappoint, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with these two also. Just so I'm totally clear though, the white thing on Sammy's head is:
A) Hair
B) A feather
C) A coincidental mistake that you just happened to accidentally draw in every picture of him
D) None of the above
A) Hair
B) A feather
C) A coincidental mistake that you just happened to accidentally draw in every picture of him
D) None of the above
# 15
Posted:
Aug 12 2010, 01:08 AM
Cherubas: Just drew Sammy for the first time. Lulz. I hope that even after you see him in my comic we can still be friends.
Quote
Haha we're already art buddies. xD; It's not like this is actually a battle to the death cause that would suck if it was. D: To be honest...I'm having a pretty difficult time with Boek. >>; Children are difficult to do. xD Though I'm happy with a lot of the panels. :'D I'm VERY eager to see your part! <333
# 14
Posted:
Aug 12 2010, 12:25 AM
Just drew Sammy for the first time. Lulz. I hope that even after you see him in my comic we can still be friends.
# 13
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 03:06 AM
Lawl lawl that was awsome. 8D
# 12
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 02:40 AM
Brawl is the only SSB that doesn't have my favorite music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY7xg92aNrY
That tune always put me in the mood to smash.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY7xg92aNrY
That tune always put me in the mood to smash.
# 11
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 02:03 AM
Yup yup! I can't seem to get enough of that music. 8I
# 10
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 01:59 AM
SSBB? Brawl?
# 9
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 01:49 AM
Cherubas: It's the sleep deprivation talking. Between drawing and Starcraft 2... Ya know.
Quote
Ooooh...I see. <8D; Yea it's ok. I'm here....listening to the SSBB soundtrack aaand I think I might have an idea...*taps fingers on desk* But at the same time I'm getting occupied with finishing another character reference. orz
# 8
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 01:37 AM
It's the sleep deprivation talking. Between drawing and Starcraft 2... Ya know.
# 7
Posted:
Aug 11 2010, 01:12 AM
Cherubas: So tell me about how you haven't started yet, cause I only just now finalized my script and I don't want to be behind. Bruce said he had a schedule conflict with another comic he was supposed to be photoshopped into, a parody of the sixth sense with Justin Bieber. Jean-Claude Van Damme said he'll come onboard as Sammy's lover because he his career is hurting, but only on the condition that a few script changes be made. His character had to be written as an abusive lover and during the climax of the comic Sammy is required to throw salt, dirt, or some other powdered substance (cocaine is the front-runner right now) in the eyes of Mr. Van Damme, at which point he requests two pages of him moaning with wide eyes as if he's brain damaged. Following this he's demanded a flashback scene where he remembers some form of training that helps him flawlessly beat the hell out of Sammy, culminating in a jumping split kick. I could try for Robin Williams if you'd rather. Like me, he drags jokes out well beyond the point of being funny. Beat that dead horse into oblivion. Dead Horse Comics, it has a ring to it, right?
Quote
Oh! I uh...well...*fiddles with sketchbook* Your loosing me here, cheesasaurus rex. :c
# 6
Posted:
Aug 10 2010, 07:52 PM
So tell me about how you haven't started yet, cause I only just now finalized my script and I don't want to be behind. Bruce said he had a schedule conflict with another comic he was supposed to be photoshopped into, a parody of the sixth sense with Justin Bieber. Jean-Claude Van Damme said he'll come onboard as Sammy's lover because he his career is hurting, but only on the condition that a few script changes be made. His character had to be written as an abusive lover and during the climax of the comic Sammy is required to throw salt, dirt, or some other powdered substance (cocaine is the front-runner right now) in the eyes of Mr. Van Damme, at which point he requests two pages of him moaning with wide eyes as if he's brain damaged. Following this he's demanded a flashback scene where he remembers some form of training that helps him flawlessly beat the hell out of Sammy, culminating in a jumping split kick. I could try for Robin Williams if you'd rather. Like me, he drags jokes out well beyond the point of being funny. Beat that dead horse into oblivion. Dead Horse Comics, it has a ring to it, right?
# 5
Posted:
Aug 10 2010, 12:34 AM
Cherubas: So Boek has to learn sign language in a week so he can make some extra money by babysitting his deaf cousin, otherwise he can't afford Solarcraft II. Luckily, friendly next door neighbor Sammy overhears Boek's plight while the boy is talking to his venus flytrap on the back porch. Sammy has just finished a new language teaching device, similar to Rosetta Stone but done through lasers shot into a person's brain through ocular cavities. A slight miscalculation causes the machine to alter how Boek's nervous system works, awakening telekinetic powers in him that lead to all kinds of mischief. Hilarity ensues. Starring Adrien Brody as Sammy and Troye Sivan as Boek. Co-starring Bruce Willis as Sammy's lover and Nicolas Cage as Boek's Mother, because I love everything Nick does. I'm glad that all came together so fast, time to start photoshopping pictures of these actors.
Quote
....that...that is so genius...;;
# 4
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 03:10 PM
So Boek has to learn sign language in a week so he can make some extra money by babysitting his deaf cousin, otherwise he can't afford Solarcraft II. Luckily, friendly next door neighbor Sammy overhears Boek's plight while the boy is talking to his venus flytrap on the back porch. Sammy has just finished a new language teaching device, similar to Rosetta Stone but done through lasers shot into a person's brain through ocular cavities. A slight miscalculation causes the machine to alter how Boek's nervous system works, awakening telekinetic powers in him that lead to all kinds of mischief. Hilarity ensues. Starring Adrien Brody as Sammy and Troye Sivan as Boek. Co-starring Bruce Willis as Sammy's lover and Nicolas Cage as Boek's Mother, because I love everything Nick does. I'm glad that all came together so fast, time to start photoshopping pictures of these actors.
# 3
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 02:20 PM
Oooo...interesting. <8 *cracks fingers* Well! Let's get started shall we? <8D;
# 2
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 12:19 PM
Good luck dudes, this should be interesting!
# 1
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 08:40 AM
This should be an interesting dance...
Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Aug 22nd, 2010
Votes Cast:
32
Page Views:
2081
Winner:
Cherubas
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