Thank you for all the helpful advice and critiques as well as comments.
@ Phil: I did shrink the pages, but i guess not enough, I thought I did though. I'll be sure to double check next time. Yeah, I was trying to work on background. I had intended to fill more of the panels with proper backgrounds but it fell out at the end due to running out of time. I'll be sure to amend that next time and I will continue on working on it.
@ DestructiveNix: Yeah, I think I was the most disappointed in myself over the quality of my comic. I'll take care to fix the issues I had with this round and apply it whatever I'm doing next. I'm glad you like the comic though. Lol, Ivan is the, "you won't know if you like it until you try" type of guy.
@ Dan: LOL, Ivan I'm sure isn't intentionally malicious, or a least I don't think he is. Being raised in the circus environment, he really hasn't had much interactions with outsiders. I think of him as adorably naive and aggressive in a friendly sense.
@ alberto: I'm glad you are enjoying both the character and stories. I'm trying to work on backgrounds cuz I know it's a weakpoint. Yeah, I was doing a lot of my perspective stuff with my eyes alone, so next time I'll try using vanishing points and stuff.
@ jethro: thanks for battling with me, I enjoyed working with Turtle. I hope our characters will have further interactions with each other in the future.
Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 / Ivan Reinhardt vs. Turtle
Critiques & Comments
# 20
Posted:
Aug 19 2010, 10:27 PM
# 19
Posted:
Aug 17 2010, 07:11 PM
thanks for all the helpful critiques everyone! ;alkdfj backgrounds just might be the bane of my comicking, but I'll definitely work to improve them in the future.
# 18
Posted:
Aug 17 2010, 09:27 AM
ShojinTakaru - I'm really enjoying your character and his stories good work on taking risks with your backgrounds somewhat... I think you need to at least establish a horizon-line in your layouts and at least a couple of vanishing points for reference when doing your backgrounds.
jethro-tullzy - Same for you, I'm loving the character keep going forth young soldier.... And also the same for your backgrounds... horizon-line and vanishing points...
I totally understand the one week thing is incredibly stressful but just keep in mind the critiques for the future.
jethro-tullzy - Same for you, I'm loving the character keep going forth young soldier.... And also the same for your backgrounds... horizon-line and vanishing points...
I totally understand the one week thing is incredibly stressful but just keep in mind the critiques for the future.
# 17
Posted:
Aug 17 2010, 07:00 AM
Sho - Linework was good, tho fell off towards the end (but hey, I know how that goes). Lots of empty space here tho. Lest there's time to fill that space, I'd suggest sticking to smaller panels. Ivan is fun, so obliviously devious. Or maybe he's planning it all along.....
Jet - T'was good, I liked the coincidental situation. But your thumbs and cover had me teased of a Turtle clown. A guy can dream, I suppose... The middle panel of the sixth page felt a bit awkward to me. Took me an extra second to realize that Turtle had NOT placed a pretty bow in his helmet.
Good work guys, pretty evenly matched.
Jet - T'was good, I liked the coincidental situation. But your thumbs and cover had me teased of a Turtle clown. A guy can dream, I suppose... The middle panel of the sixth page felt a bit awkward to me. Took me an extra second to realize that Turtle had NOT placed a pretty bow in his helmet.
Good work guys, pretty evenly matched.
# 16
Posted:
Aug 17 2010, 03:11 AM
I'm with Phil, Shoujin. They're a little big. I have a wide screen so it doesn't affect me so much, but i'd have had to scroll to the side if I was using my mother's.
I was sorry to see the clean look of the first few pages go away toward the end. I know it was hard with seven days and a busy schedule but if anyone looking in didn't know that that was all the time you had it would look to them like you just didn't care. :x
The story was amusing though. I love that little circus. Young Ivan would scare the hell out of me, if he made me try the trapeze. That would be a "no thank you, I've grown rather fond of living, and the ground." moment if ever there was one. LOL
Jethro, after that beautifully coloured comic from last round, I was kind of hoping for the same kind of clean feeling. It also seemed to drag on a little toward the middle. You could have used fewer frames to say the same thing.
In other news: Your expressions here are LOADS of fun. I love them. My brother has a couple of Diablo and I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do just that; Whack them away. I can really sympathize with Turtle's irritation here. Especially after having been hit a few times by a meandering diablo.
I was sorry to see the clean look of the first few pages go away toward the end. I know it was hard with seven days and a busy schedule but if anyone looking in didn't know that that was all the time you had it would look to them like you just didn't care. :x
The story was amusing though. I love that little circus. Young Ivan would scare the hell out of me, if he made me try the trapeze. That would be a "no thank you, I've grown rather fond of living, and the ground." moment if ever there was one. LOL
Jethro, after that beautifully coloured comic from last round, I was kind of hoping for the same kind of clean feeling. It also seemed to drag on a little toward the middle. You could have used fewer frames to say the same thing.
In other news: Your expressions here are LOADS of fun. I love them. My brother has a couple of Diablo and I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do just that; Whack them away. I can really sympathize with Turtle's irritation here. Especially after having been hit a few times by a meandering diablo.
# 15
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:47 PM
Hmmm... tough choice. This round however, Kuro won't be the only hard ass here.
Shoujin: First off, shrink those images a bit more. I could read it, but it took up my entire screen! Second I would of liked to have seen this finished up nice and proper cause it got really scribbly towards the end and I didn't like that, especially when that first page is all nice looking. Speaking of which, if you're going to give that first page some background love like that, don't stop there, give every page equal treatment otherwise a guy like me is going to lose interest quickly.
The story was OK, you and Jethro both seemed to have used the same plot point here, but your story seems a bit more complete and interesting. However, since it's not finished I was almost at the point of not wanting to finish it, again, you gotta shoot for consistency otherwise the comic ain't gonna be worth reading. My vote went to you regardless, but let's see that quality get better in the next comic.
Jethro: Not bad, a bit simplistic, and definitely better than your last. Very empty comic however, and like Shoujin's it was way too scribbled for my tastes. Backgrounds were OK, but I think you can really push yourself to do better in your next comic (Details people, there's more than just 2 people in Void City, and don't just include cameos). Story was pretty standard, but I won't fault you on that, it was pretty cute, but a bit short. Props for consistency.
Both of ya have got to push yourselves further, but still a good effort.
Shoujin: First off, shrink those images a bit more. I could read it, but it took up my entire screen! Second I would of liked to have seen this finished up nice and proper cause it got really scribbly towards the end and I didn't like that, especially when that first page is all nice looking. Speaking of which, if you're going to give that first page some background love like that, don't stop there, give every page equal treatment otherwise a guy like me is going to lose interest quickly.
The story was OK, you and Jethro both seemed to have used the same plot point here, but your story seems a bit more complete and interesting. However, since it's not finished I was almost at the point of not wanting to finish it, again, you gotta shoot for consistency otherwise the comic ain't gonna be worth reading. My vote went to you regardless, but let's see that quality get better in the next comic.
Jethro: Not bad, a bit simplistic, and definitely better than your last. Very empty comic however, and like Shoujin's it was way too scribbled for my tastes. Backgrounds were OK, but I think you can really push yourself to do better in your next comic (Details people, there's more than just 2 people in Void City, and don't just include cameos). Story was pretty standard, but I won't fault you on that, it was pretty cute, but a bit short. Props for consistency.
Both of ya have got to push yourselves further, but still a good effort.
# 14
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 10:38 AM
Oh god I love 'em both...this scoring gonna be hard..Good luck to ya both though!
# 13
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:28 AM
ShojinTakaru:jethro-tullzy: awesome! Can't wait to see how it goes!Quote
i'd like to apologize for the quality on my side. Life was REALLY rough this week. Tried my darndest to work around everything and at least show something. This was the best I could do given the circumstances. I apologize that it's not up to par. >.>X;;
Quote
D: shit happens, and at least you finished and submitted it on time! Besides, I like how your comic came out. The story was quite adorable!
And I find it a silly coincidence in both that when Ivan's diabolo goes up, it must come down on Turtle's head.
# 12
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:20 AM
OMG I just read your side Jethro! I love it, it's so funny! XDDDDD
# 11
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:18 AM
jethro-tullzy: awesome! Can't wait to see how it goes!
Quote
i'd like to apologize for the quality on my side. Life was REALLY rough this week. Tried my darndest to work around everything and at least show something. This was the best I could do given the circumstances. I apologize that it's not up to par. >.>X;;
# 10
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:16 AM
Cherubas: That's good to hear. I was under the impression you were going to default since you hadn't posted. I was worried that the epic Playskool showdown might never be.
Quote
for a minute there, I thought I was going to as well since I was cutting it so close to the wire with this one. I'm glad it made in, even if I'm not exactly proud of the quality.
# 9
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:10 AM
awesome! Can't wait to see how it goes!
# 8
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:08 AM
That's good to hear. I was under the impression you were going to default since you hadn't posted. I was worried that the epic Playskool showdown might never be.
# 7
Posted:
Aug 16 2010, 12:05 AM
I've uploaded, pretty sure it made it through.
# 6
Posted:
Aug 15 2010, 07:33 PM
well, I've uploaded mine. Black and white this time.
# 5
Posted:
Aug 14 2010, 10:20 AM
Good luck you two!
# 4
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 07:52 PM
awesomeness, this is going to be fun. I believe this is the first kid vs. kid battle in this tournament. : D
Likewise, I'm eager to see what you have in store for next week as well jethro! Best of luck to the both of us.
Likewise, I'm eager to see what you have in store for next week as well jethro! Best of luck to the both of us.
# 3
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 07:49 PM
Whooo! Go for it! XD
# 2
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 07:21 PM
aww yeeeah kid battle! This is gonna be so tough, though D: Looking forward to what you do for next week, shojin!
# 1
Posted:
Aug 9 2010, 09:17 AM
Kid on kid violence, oh the humanity! Good luck, you guys. I can see this playing out in a few different ways, so I'm looking forward to seeing what you guys do with it.
Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Aug 22nd, 2010
Votes Cast:
33
Page Views:
1766
Winner:
Shojin
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but thanks for the battle shojin, and good luck in the tournament!