Bartin vs. Latem

Bartin vs. Latem

Bartin vs. Latem

100%
305 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference

by Molotov

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Fred v2.0.1
Artist
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475 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 27 2010, 05:36 PM
You got some nice stuff, I especially like the contrasted glowy parts, they looked quite good.
What I like less is the placement of the dialogues, they don't feel natural to me in their pacing. You should allow for the characters to breath sometimes, take into acount pauses in speech, lenght of said pauses, ect. and convey that trough how you dispose of your text.
For example, the second page, "He's escaping!! Open fire!!!" seems to come just a bit to soon after the preceding line, we dont feel the surprise of the officer because of that, like he knew his line and said it before he actually needed, especially since we dont see Bartin escaping at that moment.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 26 2010, 07:18 PM
I liked it except the placing on the time stamps made it seem like he fell for 7 full minutes before crashing through some glass. Which would be very very cool, except that he didn't leave a crater and somehow walked away. Maybe a frame of him crawling on a rooftop or something between the one of him falling and the one of him crashing through glass 7 minutes later would clear it up just a little more.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1413 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 25 2010, 09:45 AM
My comic tonight is gonna be playing with time too :D

The last page's bubbles are confusing, which is surprising because that's normally an easy setup.

What happened is that you scrunched the bubbles too close to each other. I thought each character was saying one big paragraph of information at first, I had to take a step back and realize it was supposed to be read back and forth.

Darius Corry
Artist
icon
427 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 24 2010, 04:39 PM
angieness: Glad to see you both back!
Quote


PSYCH!
seems to be a trend for (somewhat) old heads.

jho
Artist
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485 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 17 2010, 01:47 PM
LATEM LATEM LATEM

Dalarminus
Artist
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38 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 17 2010, 11:44 AM
I'm gonna be cuttin this one close, family problems and such but if it isn't completely coloured the way I like, half will be submitted in inks

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 14 2010, 10:02 AM
Glad to see you both back!

Rtv!
Artist
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603 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 07:11 AM
Oldschoolers brawl!


E.W. Schneider
Artist
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1055 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 6 2010, 01:22 PM
Woo, go Molotov!

Can't wait to see what you two bring to the table.

Monday
Artist
icon
932 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 28 2010, 01:05 AM
LATEMS BACK HELL YEAH

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Aug 30th, 2010
Votes Cast: 17
Page Views: 931
Winner: Dalarminus
 

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