Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 / Boek vs. Mortimerr

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 / Boek vs. Mortimerr

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 — Boek vs. Mortimerr

53.7%
840 points
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Crit level: No preference

46.3%
725 points
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Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Dustin C.
Artist
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33 comments
# 29   Posted: Aug 6 2010, 10:00 PM
Cherubasd: HAHAHAHAAAHAAAA!!!!
that is all.

Le Fred: very deep.......

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
icon
475 comments
# 28   Posted: Aug 3 2010, 06:50 PM
Thanks all for the critiques, its always helpful.
Philip, damn, I should ask the 14 year old me why he thought it'd be fun to have an inverted character, it's all his fault! XD

Kuro, I only repeated backgrounds because of lack of time, it is an horror in which I shall never again endulge, I promise...

(Everyone else who commented?) I'll work on my handwritting for sure. I'm used to reading it myself, so I didn't realize it was that hard to decypher.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 27   Posted: Aug 3 2010, 11:53 AM
@Pyras: yeah, there's no denying he's got a lot of Goku to him. He was also influenced somewhat by Naruto, Aang, Calvin, Squee, and Dennis the Menace, but as a stupid kid who can fight the Goku-ness probably stands out most.

@Phillip: I will try to polish my backgrounds. I was trying to do a bunch of black in the background to separate it from the foreground but I suppose I got too lazy with it. That's something I'm going to try to work on.

@kuro: I don't think I follow about repeating the bush. There were 3 frames near the end in which I used the same background because I wanted to establish that everything there was happening in exactly the same spot, but other than that the bushes were just drawn and not repeated. I didn't think that 3 frames would bother anyone too much, but hey, the reason I'm here is to learn. I will try to keep my backgrounds more consistent and not invite sudden colors into the mix. I can definitely see how that distracts from the flow of things. I suppose I should have started with a really wide establishing shot too, because I meant for this to all take place in a grassy park similar to this picture:

http://www.ysk.com/photos/images/0208NYCentralParkSheepsMeadow1.jpg

That's pretty much grass, tree leaves, skyline which was more or less what I was going with. I plan to choose my locations a bit more carefully in the future though.

Thank you guys for the critiques, I appreciate it. I'm always looking to improve.

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 26   Posted: Aug 3 2010, 10:33 AM
Cherub, good work for having at least a fully realized comic in comparison to some of the others that are half finished & everything. Good time management. I think a lot of the jokes & comedy bits were trying too hard & fell way flat for me. And there was a lot of that. To the point like it felt like it was dragging. Next time, pace it better.
It was a cop out to just keep redrawing bushes as background. The point of them is to set your characters in a world, ground them, make them real, & give a frame of reference from one action to the next. Bush after bush doesn't really help build a world. Beyond that, it was a huge cop out to only draw the one & repeat it a couple times. I noticed because I thought it was weird that some of the backgrounds had black fill & others were simply line art. That's not consistent either. I don't know if I dig the sudden random primary colors either. Or the gradient photoshop effects.

The Fred, I had issues telling the difference between characters in the story. Work on making your characters more distinctive. Having to regain your bearings & figure out who's who murders the pacing. And thumbs down with repeating the backgrounds too. This site's for practice, so don't cop out. Do work. When you do draw the backgrounds, don't draw your characters & fill-in the background. Your character's a part of that environment & you should draw both.
Also, while I prefer people to handletter, I couldn't read half of this. Use a thinner brush to letter & be clear & distinct. The text does play an aesthetic part of the page but at the same time you still need people to read it, so next time, take you time & do it right. And English might not be your first language, but hook up with a buddy to proof read & iron out those spelling mistakes. Like "liar"

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 25   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 11:34 PM
Interesting comics you two.

Cherubas: Yours was the more interesting of the two, but what's with those backgrounds? Looks like splotches of ink instead of a park, quality over quantity, you could of easily told this story in fewer pages and had more time to polish this up.

Fred: Not bad, but the art is totally lacking, and honestly I think the idea of having your character being reverse colored is kind of a strange choice. Work on your lettering, and polish up your skillz.

Vote goes to Cherub.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1413 comments
# 24   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 11:09 PM
Boek's Goku-ian influence is strong but not to the point of derivation, and that's great.

Shojin
Artist
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92 comments
# 23   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 06:02 PM
@ Cherubas: I really enjoyed your comic, it had a lot of humor in it and it was very fun to read.  I'm looking forward to the day both Ivan and Boek meet on the battlefield.  Until then, keep up the good work my friend.

@ LeFred: The story pacing was good and the color choices were interesting.  However, it was really difficult at times to read the dialogue since it switches somewhat between print and cursive.  The text is also clumped rather close to each other, so more space between words and make sure each letter is legible.

otamie
Artist
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23 comments
# 22   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 07:42 AM
Oh man great job you guys! I dig both comics a lot XD. Both have good passing original story good flow and stayed true to the characters. I wish you both could go to round 2 8D

Slagglle
Artist
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61 comments
# 21   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:45 PM
My first script centered around Boek being disappointed with his macaroni art present for his mother's birthday
Quote
You should have made your entire comic out of macaroni. You would've got 10's across the board from me.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 20   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:40 PM
Fred, I really enjoyed reading your comic. If I could vote I would give you a high entertainment rating, but instead you'll have to settle for this thing that looks like a y: Ÿ

You're completely right about the question mark and I feel like I've made a grave error now. Regardless of who wins I hope some day we CAN do more comics together. Take care of Warbeast, lulz.

Nix and Orange, thanks guys.

Someone's already added Boek to their hitlist, so my comic has accomplished its goal.

Base, this is the third version of my script which is kind of why. No real excuse, but... My first script centered around Boek being disappointed with his macaroni art present for his mother's birthday and Mortimerr trying to get him to sell his soul in exchange for a better present to give her. It was a little too "sunday morning comic" for me though and the ending was way too predictable. My second one was close to what I ended up with, but at the last minute before I started drawing I reread Mortimerr's description and realized his lines weren't "honest and polite" and neither would an ending be where he convinces some dumb kid that he was taking his dog to be in a puppy chow commercial. So when I said to myself "neither person gets beat to death but without lying the fight comes to an end" this was what I ended up with.

Oh and I fixed the text being cut off on page 4 at one point but when I went to make another change I forgot that I hadn't saved, so the text became re-cut off. Just want people to know that I'm not blind, just an dunce.

Base
Artist
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56 comments
# 19   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:08 PM
Great fight, you two! Not only did neither of you default, but we have a heft pile of pages here!

Cherubas: Wow, excellent character poses and expressions! They really fit well with the setting. The story seemed to take a sharp 180 turn when he offered his dog to him, but I think that was because you wanted to keep the story rolling rather than let it trail off. Excellent show nonetheless!

Le Fred: YOUR VISION!! But seriously, great showing from you too! I liked how Mortimerr looked here, gave him a really unsettling feeling. Some critique, try to work on anatomy and perspective; the way we looked at the background in relation to the characters has a very 'offset' look to it.

Great job guys! Good luck!

trickstersGambit
Artist
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34 comments
# 18   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:35 PM
Fred I found it really hard to read your handwriting. >:

Cherubas oh my god I could not stop laughing.

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
icon
475 comments
# 17   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:29 PM
Yeah, but I'll be killed off the tourney if I lose is what I meant. Kinda somewhat inaway si?
I mean, not only will he not be dead, but he'll have a dead dog pet.
I mean, it would be a worthy death if death there was.
I mean, it would be a worthy way of being kicked out of the tourney.
I mean, yeah.

Hiemie
Artist
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511 comments
# 16   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 09:19 PM
Le Fred: THAT GUY CRAPPED MY VISION!

but seriously, this is hilarious. Win or lose, that was a good fight to die with.
Quote



What do you mean to die with? This isn't the Speed Death Tournament. Mortimer is still gonna be alive after this.

Charlie
Artist
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726 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 08:58 PM
Cool first fight guys :)

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
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475 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 08:44 PM
THAT GUY CRAPPED MY VISION!

but seriously, this is hilarious. Win or lose, that was a good fight to die with.

Cherubas
Artist
icon
175 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 12:20 PM
I hope we don't disappoint. Mine is submitted. Sending the thumbnails in just a few and then I'll be good to go. This is so exciting!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
icon
475 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 12:19 PM
I have uploaded.
Not my proudest achievement, but under the circumstances, I'm pretty content.

otamie
Artist
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23 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 11:19 AM
Can't wait to read your comics guys! This is gonna be a good one!

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 03:59 AM
Alright. Just finished but I'm going to do some thumbnail images. That will come after sleep though.

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
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475 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 28 2010, 08:44 PM
Great, I'll go ahead and steal that idea then!

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 28 2010, 06:47 PM
Guess my idea of having them communicate entirely in burps is out...

JimValid
Artist
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43 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 28 2010, 11:23 AM
A naive young child and a dapper demon. Though the combat possibilities are interesting for this one, I think what i'm looking forward to the most in this fight is the conversation between characters, simply because I think this has the potential for some really interesting dialogue.

Shojin
Artist
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92 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 09:09 PM
Good luck to the both of you.

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 05:52 PM
You too, sir. I'm eager to see which way you go with this matchup.

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
icon
475 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 05:45 AM
Hell yeah, look at the lucky bastard who got boek in the first round!
Best luck to you.

Phill
Artist
icon
895 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 12:57 AM
Welcome to void you two, just remember to do your best, the minimum is a mere 3 pages too! And yes I am going to say this to everybody.

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:11 PM
Good luck you two!

Cherubas
Artist
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175 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:02 PM
Sweeeeeet. Let's put on a show, Le Fred.

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 8th, 2010
Votes Cast: 42
Page Views: 1195
Winner: Cherubas
 

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