I like how TDK's drawings are improving from his past posts, though I agree on what the others said,
try working on different angles. I really didn't expect the Monty Python reference! (lol)

On William's side, I like your shading style! I have to say the image shot of the slums is really cool.
The shading gives off nice bits of details too. I like your side of the story (I sort of have a thing on religious-themed
stories)...

Great work, you guys. Hope to see more soon

First I want to thank tdkgunghoul for accepting this match and though I had wanted to, I'm sorry I didn't draw enough Kars.  And I want to thank everyone who commented and voted, much of what has been said is pretty dead on and there is still a lot I need to practice and let sink in.  Thank you.

WDuel:  Shit this is getting better and better characters are for the most part versatile but they're not all there.Your figures are looking flat for the perspective that you're trying to pull. Really look into using the underdrawing to render the shapes in space rather than eyeballing and imagining stances, composition, and what not it seems like you go straight to ink after the bare minimum of an image is set. The poses suffer from stiffness and the heads seem like they're independent from all other planes. These ALL could be fixed if you did underdrawings for more than complicated objects, and studied spaces from life so you can drain ALL the technical stiffness from everything. Otherwise good buildup kept my attention, lots of WOW images but yeah the flatness and the faces need to be worked on haarrrrrd.

Kars: Good action but with all that action I only see the same 3 camera angles and flat poses and figures that are all sized planely. If you want to tweak with the effect of your frames for greater effect consider the bigger factors before jumping to ink.
1. Composition : Dont leave white space.
2. Size: Dont make everything the same size on a frame that wont be able to show all of them anyway
3. Angles: Dont render figures like paper dolls, dont limit your perspective to flat comfortable angles. Really let them register in space by tweaking size differences.
4. Planes and surfaces: The less you draw on them , the flatter and more rigid they get until they're just cardboard platforms.
All in all see into adding naturalism in your work until you can do it fast enough. A lot of good action relies on a lot of realistic effects to work. [which doesnt mean it can't be stylized it just needs to not look like everythings made of paper.]

Oh and writing- I guess I'm interested , there was a fight- and cops showed up. It's all cool because there are helicopters and serious business occuring. I mean, it's useless to talk about unless you follow through with this but I guess it works for now.

All in all good work you guys. I'm sure you'll make these mistakes at least 10 more times, that's why you have to keep fighting and fighting and fighting until you're shelling out doomsday victories. Or you can be boring and effecient and study from life and waste 10,000 dollars in art school until you sell your soulllssssssssssss.

Noted. It will not happen again.

Leaps & bounds, Young William. Leaps & bounds. But you still gotta tighten up with the faces, scale, & the perspective. That shot on page 5 (the truck aside) is great. But in other shots, the perspective seems wonky or things that should be like 6 feet tall look as thought they might be 3 or 9 feet tall in relation to the other things around them. There are other small things where it seems like you're pushing yourself which is great(!!) but just require a bit more thought & observation on your end to make them work. Like as tight as that environment is overall on page 5, the way her foot is just sort of lopped off in that panels isn't only off, it's kind of a distraction. If the shadow cuts it off, the edge would run down her ankle vertically, meaning from that pov, it'd be a circular edge, not a straight horizontal cut. Just keep working & pushing yourself.

tdk, the lack of proper backgrounds made it feel sparse & empty. Even if it were an issue of time, the figures still felt like they could've been drawn larger to compensate for that lack & at least cut down on some of that negative space. Also the jokes fell flat. Like flatter than flat. Way flat.

How fortuitous. Will's last panel synced almost perfectly with my first.

Are you psychic Will?

I enjoyed this


And Will, that establishing shot of the slums? Fuckin' nice!

And uploaded.  I've realized that with bigger paper comes bigger scanner problems.  It's something I'll have to work on in the future so I'm sorry I tried to clean it up as best I could but there is one page where it is very obvious and I couldn't do much to it.  I also regret that I was unable to make my side longer and features Kars more prominently.  I wanted to play with him more but...oh well.  The solution is to just increase my output in the future to tell the full story.

My working hours conflict with my extra-curricular activities.
So yeah.

4 days before its due?

Didn't wanna tweak til you were a little more satisfied?

Uploaded.

No, this isn't my best work. Most definitely not.

WHEEEE~~!

Good Luck!!

Looking forward to this one.

good luck you guys!

let's see how this goes down!

Ohh good to see you back comicing Will! Good luck you both, guise!

Can I get next please?
from either or both!
This should be awesome!