A Henshin Fever Valentine / Tyr

A Henshin Fever Valentine / Tyr

A Henshin Fever Valentine — Tyr


53%
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


galvo
Artist
146 comments
# 25   Posted: Feb 22 2010, 03:20 PM
you know i can put up with the word bubbles coming straight out of his mouth as stylistic, even the sloppy lettering --- but a 3 page story that doesn't go anywhere?  

did i miss something, or aren't beyond battles supposed to be an avenue to tell a greater story, to delve into the character so the viewer/opponents can understand the characters better?


or has it turned into a web comic dump site?
amigo please! this site is designed to improve your artistic skill while having fun, but it seems like you did neither here!

Fox24
Artist
215 comments
# 24   Posted: Feb 21 2010, 08:50 PM
sorry ronin my bad for putting that on your BB but someone calls someone a douche and yea It got out of hand my bad justin.

ronin-soul
Artist
81 comments
# 23   Posted: Feb 21 2010, 08:38 PM
Fox24: oooow someone's mad justin. It was two comics and if your going to cry about it, keep it to yourself and write it in your diary so no one can see how petty you are. And just for you sad comment, I'm playing a small violin for you..... tear
Quote


who is this guy?

Fox24
Artist
215 comments
# 22   Posted: Feb 21 2010, 08:13 PM
oooow someone's mad justin. It was two comics and if your going to cry about it, keep it to yourself and write it in your diary so no one can see how petty you are. And just for you sad comment, I'm playing a small violin for you..... tear

ronin-soul
Artist
81 comments
# 21   Posted: Feb 21 2010, 07:21 PM
Justin King: Nice comic, Helf.
Quote


hvad.

justarhymes
Web Dev
636 comments
# 20   Posted: Feb 20 2010, 03:57 PM
Nice comic, Helf.


Fox24: Hay guys, I'm a douche.
Quote


Do you really need to announce this on every comic?

Fox24
Artist
215 comments
# 19   Posted: Feb 18 2010, 07:38 PM
I don't want to vote on this either

William_Duel
Community Manager
928 comments
# 18   Posted: Feb 17 2010, 06:19 AM
And oh yah, this was pretty gay.

William_Duel
Community Manager
928 comments
# 17   Posted: Feb 17 2010, 06:18 AM
I don't think it's nearly as bad as people say, it could stand up to certain comics that pop up now and again but it does give the feeling of being very hastily done.  Like the way Home Videos used to have that shaky drawing style in the first season.  But you know, considering that this was done in half a done and then there was that three way one hour battle that was done for Thanksgiving, I can't exactly hate on it.  It is what it is but there are better comics to be found.  It would be nice to see more stuff from you Ronin, as you weren't around very much by the time I entered Void.  

Mister Kent
Artist
946 comments
# 16   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 11:23 PM
Drastic: That's because in the lost fourth page they totally made out. (edited out for space constraints, I'm sure, or barring that, existing entirely in my mind)

Ronin, I don't think I've said it before but I really enjoy your linework - there's this fluid, very relaxed and relaxing quality that I'd like to see more of. Color would've made this really come to life. Nice little moment shown here, too.

DrasticFantastic
Artist
165 comments
# 15   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 11:03 PM
I didn't get gay from the Merk/Sweet one but I did get it from this one for some reason.

Amaloo
Artist
76 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 10:22 PM
You know, all these valentine's day comics keep coming off as a little gay to me...

squid
Artist
421 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 02:47 PM
ronin-soul: ...I don't see how the quality is bad at all.
Quote

yeah I think one reason is the pixelly-ness, and I think it's also the style you're trying for. I think the "crude" line-art style thing can look really good, I just don't think you're pulling it off yet. I guess I'm not skilled enough to explain why... perhaps a sense of depth and volume is something that's missing? The two guys' faces seem 3d, maybe find a way to bring that into everything else?

squid
Artist
421 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 02:33 PM
I wanted to point out that the scruffy guy seems to be drawn more realistically than the afro guy. The latter is drawn more rounded and cartoony, especially in the eyes.

I am not sure about the digital inking in this... I think the fact that it looks very pixelated is bothering me. I think that Bitter's suggestion of introducing some variation in line width could possibly help this, although if you like the single-width style, I think it could also work to draw much bigger and then scale down the page... might make the lines smoother.

I think I understand that you wanted the artwork to look kind of minimal, and are purposely letting your lines be wavy and un-precise, I am just not sure you're pulling it off successfully yet. I don't know... it's almost being too concerned with style, but there's not any structure to it? :P I might be making stuff up.

In terms of the story, for me, I feel that it's coming off as an excersize, but there's not enough there to make it interesting for me.

Dr.Salt
Artist
90 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 01:59 PM
Oh Ronin...

Bittermause
Artist
242 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 01:47 PM
I only have two main concerns involving the quality of the comic; the line variations and the speech bubbles. Most of your line widths stay the same with the occasional black splotches to represent shadows. More variations and fatter lines would help the relationships with background and the characters, since there are parts where the characters seem to blend in with the chairs. Next bit is more of a personal preference, but I wasn't a big fan of the whole speech bubbles shooting right into the mouths. It's like they're smoking up their words or eating their own bubbles, which makes the conversation feel out of place a little.

What I AM digging is your variations of facial features. You've definitely evolved your style in that sense, and I'd love to see you do more like it. Even though not too much is going on here, I rather liked the whole slice of life/bro grabs feeling of this comic.

Time wise, it was interesting how you flushed this out in one day, imagine how much this comic could be within a matter of a few more days. You have great capabilities of doing a very nice comic, and we want to see more of that. Just don't rush yourself through it next time.

Aluísio C. Santos
Artist
735 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 01:29 PM
Not at all, ronin. More comics are cool, but since it's a BB, its wise to remember you supposedly have the whole time you need to make one, so it's expected to be something of good quality. If you are telling me this is in par with your best work in the eokram acc, you are joking me.

ronin-soul
Artist
81 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 01:22 PM
Just so you guys know, this was basically done in half a day. It was a quick thing for Valentines day. If you guys don't want me to post this kind of thing anymore, I won't. I thought people might have wanted to see it. I also thought this looked better than anything I've posted before, although it is simple. I don't see how the quality is bad at all.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 07:54 AM
zsabreuser: Ronin, take more time doing stuff
Quote


This. I really wanted to cancel this as it is not on par with what you're capable of and BBs are expected to be better or equal to what you're capable of doing. If more people want to do BBs that's great, they're so rare so I'm happy to see people suddenly want to do them. But not at the expense of quality.

I'll do a proper critique in a bit.

Aluísio C. Santos
Artist
735 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 16 2010, 07:51 AM
Ronin, take more time doing stuff

William_Duel
Community Manager
928 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 15 2010, 07:40 PM
RIDER CHANGE!

Aluísio C. Santos
Artist
735 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 15 2010, 07:24 PM
HENSHIN

Dr.Salt
Artist
90 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 15 2010, 05:43 PM
Go Ronin!

Qyzex
Artist
670 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 15 2010, 05:16 PM
:O this is cool

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1059 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 15 2010, 05:00 PM
Hurray

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 22nd, 2010
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 1028
 

Add to Playlist -

 
 

Newest Comments -


Newest Characters -

 
MetonymyDimitri LandersMorgan MaruyamaAntaresPepper BoxDr. Evelin JosefColbitzerEverie "Kai" Tam Kwok-KuenAldrin[REDACTED]Miranda Munroe
 

Open Challenges -


Random Comic -



Latest Topics -

 
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Today at 12:35 AM
NVCPD Threat Code System - "what's your power level?" 
Last updated: Symon_says - Feb 24, 2020, 04:33 PM
ALL TOGETHER NOW! Epic Void Poster Revival 
Last updated: Symon_says - Feb 24, 2020, 12:45 PM
Nanny idea 
Last updated: Bobo - Feb 21, 2020, 01:25 PM
INTRODUCE YOURSELF 
Last updated: Enef - Feb 18, 2020, 02:07 PM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
233 Guests, 1 User


[]

Most Online Today: 401.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)

 

Original site Copyright 2002-2017 Kevin Birtcher All characters and content Copyright 2002-2017 their respective owners Theme by SMFTricks - Modified by Brittney Scott & Jordan Bobo
Website Security Test