Lau the Assassin vs. Lust

Lau the Assassin vs. Lust

Lau the Assassin vs. Lust

by carlito

Icon for Lau the Assassin51.1%
846 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference


Icon for Lust48.9%
811 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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(Pi)
Artist
475 comments
# 20   Posted: Feb 14 2010, 10:24 PM
carlito, definitely the best lines i've seen from you so far. there's a couple trouble spots here and there (like the last panel), but mostly really cool. i like your choice of angles too, it had a really cinematic show-down feel to it, which i think you were going for.

SLS, you're improving loads with the tablet, i can tell that much. the first page's posing/perspective is a little awkward (there's perspective issues on the last panel of page 2, as well), so i think long shots are what you need the most practice on. drawing environments with people from reference is probably the best thing to work from, like people at a plaza or something.

nice work, this is a close match!

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 19   Posted: Feb 14 2010, 06:05 PM
Carlito - I really liked your storytelling and your art-style worked well with it, especially the pacing and flow, which made it a such a sweet short~

And thank you for your comment.  It's encouraging to know I'm not becoming stagnant! XD  I was a bit surprised by how identical our plots were too.  But I suppose since both of us were trying to stick really true to the characters, it wasn't too surprising that it ended up like this.


Six - Thanks for the input, especially about the background.  I feel that it's one of my major weaknesses, since I don't have much practice with 'scapes. I had hoped that something was better than an empty/solid-colored panel.


Will - I'll be sure to keep trying out new styles to find something that works well!

Kuro - Sorry about the last panel, I had hoped I had dropped enough clues about them being Lau's twin swords.  I didn't have enough time to get them down right.  And I'll be sure to watch my hatching. I suspect some of the sloppy parts were places I felt frustrated or rushed.  But that just means I should work harder!

Angie - I'm glad to know I'm getting at least a little better! I rather like working with color so I'll definitely be doing more soon.  I'm sorry about the clutter though.  I realized there were parts I could have split into more panels or picked a different angle or other likewise things, but I didn't have time to change it so I kept 'em and crammed in all the information I thought was necessary for the 'story'.  Still, thanks for the warning because I'll definitely remember to watch out for that when I do my roughs now.

Joshua - Thanks for the tip man.  I realized it was weird on pg 2's Lust, but I couldn't figure out why and it was already time to submit.

Rtv! - Thanks for the compliments! The slashed up henchmen was fun to do! (Makes me wish my perm' chara' was more of a violent type so I could practive more scenes like that.)  And you're right that there were missing pages: one before, which would have made my current page one less cluttered, and one after.

Rtv!
Artist
603 comments
# 18   Posted: Feb 14 2010, 11:17 AM
Carlito - I'm always a fan of short action comics. Nice inks and poses.
I suggest using different angles for some of the action like on the first page. Or use them in a row to create a cinematic effect. Don't be shy to use more speedlines, debris or blood splatter.
The last page really caught my eye. Looks like most of the effort went in there. Girl looks cute!
Epic win for the emotion you created behind it.

Sailor - That is pretty impressive for a one weeker. Some strange colouring style i haven't seen before but i like it. Especially on the second and third page.
I especially enjoyed the panel where Lau was surrounded by those henchmen followed up by him slashing them to shit. Panel looked as if the camera orbited. Very nice!
What stood out the most was the lettering, i loved it. But it was kinda all over the place wich made it hard to follow, 1st page in particular.I'd love to see what happens after the bullet flies across the swords. Was there another page you didn't get to?

Good short fight, people!

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
462 comments
# 17   Posted: Feb 9 2010, 03:26 PM
Art:

Carlito, this is your best action as far as I can remember. I'm digging the inks here. Lettering needs some more love though. SFX came out pretty good, but the placement of the monologue text seems off in spots, and it needs maybe some varied size or something to help deliver the emotion. Silloh s of the heart dudes' shoulders were a bit wonked.
pg. 3 was the best.

Sailor, def.improvement from when you fought Pi, the hatchy coloring worked amazingly on pg. 3 top panel, other places it came off as odd, like it works well for action because it lends a lot of motion to the subject, where in spots like the cheesecake shot of Lust on pg. 2 would be nicer with some softer, "stiller" shading. also I dunno if it's a font but ditch that SFX lettering, it's hard to read and not attractive at all.

Story/other stuff:

Well like others said yall had pretty much the same thing going on. What stood out though;, Carlito your type/story added some depth to what was going on in the comic, while SailorLoneStar, yours started to do this, but just kind of helped explain what was happening.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 16   Posted: Feb 9 2010, 09:28 AM
Thanks for reading.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 15   Posted: Feb 9 2010, 09:24 AM
Thanks for reading.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 09:50 PM
Carlito-I do wish you'd gone with a different character since I'd wanted to see the significance he had in Chia-hui's story, but there's also nothing saying you can't continue to use him in Chia-hui's comics. Your style was very consistent here which is a step up for you! But I didn't really get into the story because I felt like I was thrown into the middle and nothing really had any reasoning or build up.

SailorLoneStar-pretty much the same with Carlito, you put us in the middle of the action without much explanation. Artistically this is better than your previous stuff you've done on Void which is great to see. I'd like to see you work with color more often as it's working well for you. One thing to watch out for is your compositions getting too cluttered. Like the bottom of the second page there's a lot going on in those last two panels and I didn't really know where to focus my attention.

Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 08:05 PM
carlito, so wait... you went from one kung fu guy to another kung fu guy? you one trick pony, you. in all seriousness though, this was ok. after the sheep saga going on in the recent chia hui stories, i was missing the actual wushu stuff, so this was good. and while i'm all for getting right into the action, i gotta tell you, the lack of backgrounds in this kind of detaches it for me. it just sort of happens in the ether, you know? give us some sort of frame of reference to make it seem like it's going on SOMEWHERE, you know? considerable improvement though. keep it up

sailor, at times i liked the etchy hatching & other times it just looked haphazard & sloppy. beyond that though, the anatomy & perspective distracted me a bit & pulled me out of the action. i did like the kind of "ambiguous" end you made carlito's character face though. the idea's sound but it was kind of hard to tell that the crossbars were the sword blades. even now, i'm a little unsure & just surmising.

William_Duel
Community Manager
930 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 06:04 PM
I'd say these stories were pretty on par and each artist nailed down the characters personalities well.  But that's the thing, it's just kinda standard.  It's not bad but it's not entirely memorable either.  

Not a terribly big fan of Sailor's sketchy shading but it's a good experiment I think and does reveal an improvement of sorts.  Some anatomy/perspective issues here and there.  The last panel I think was an interesting attempt at telling its own sort of story but ultimately I'm not sure how well it translates.  I was confused at first but understood a second later.

Carlito, your comic was kinda the same.  Hell I'd dare to say it was pretty much the same fight on either end just with different conclusions.  Your flow was a bit better and so I'd say you came out on top here.  Short and sweet.

sixtem
Artist
395 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 05:46 PM
Carlito - Your line work looks pretty solid, though I wish there were some backgrounds or establishing shots. Not much of a story, but I did really enjoy the dialogue on the last page. Very classic.

LoneStar - Good polish and effort on your artwork. I liked the panel of Lau cutting through the mob surrounding him. Your panels seem a bit crowded and narrow, there really isn't any sense of scale or any solid feeling that the characters are interacting with the background.

Actually, these two comics remind me of the earlier Void battles where it was just simple 3-pagers of two people fighting!

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 11:22 AM
Thanks for reading.

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 12:10 AM
Good luck to you too Carlito!!! I can't want to see what you did! x3  As for me, it's been crazy week too, and it's not over yet because I have a midterm to study for on Thursday! DX

Anyways!  I hope you enjoy mines, because Lau ended up stealing the spotlight... >:X

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 12:03 AM
Uploaded & e-mailed quick thumbs.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 7 2010, 11:34 AM
Reminder for all of you uploading tonight, please read this in the event your upload fails before coming to the mods
http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=10641.0

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 7 2010, 01:39 AM
Thanks for reading.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 7 2010, 01:38 AM

Thanks for reading.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 1 2010, 07:45 PM
Thanks for reading.

(Pi)
Artist
475 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 31 2010, 06:48 PM
Let's see the LOVE-LOVE SPECIAL!!

Sean Patrick Kelly
Artist
117 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 31 2010, 05:45 PM
I Second That

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 31 2010, 02:09 PM
HEEEECK YAAA!!!  Let's have an awesome fight!!!!! <3

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 14th, 2010
Votes Cast: 44
Page Views: 1297
Winner: carlito
 

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