Samandiriel vs. Jacky

Samandiriel vs. Jacky

Samandiriel vs. Jacky

54.5%
870 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference

by Jinbee

45.5%
725 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 14 2010, 10:32 PM
puzz, nicely done & i like the sketchiness. there were bits that may've warranted a bit more tightening up but overall i think it worked. the colors were nice too. the etched out balloon thing was nice too but the bits where you could see through would sometimes catch one of the letters the wrong way & look odd. i'd recommend a white stroke around the text as well. also, perhaps tighten up the cursors/pointers/tail leading to the speakers.

jinbee, one thing i've noticed is that you (along with a lot of the other new people showing up for the tournament) seemed to place precedent on the battle rather than telling an interesting story. where even the most generic of meet & beat battles at least have some preamble of characters walking into each other or something, you just sort of had the two characters here just sort of appear in an alleyway. and while the art was nice, in the layouts, you seemed to give the talking head panels more room than the panels where the action was actually happening. optimize a little better. if you're making the battle the focus of your story, play up the action in that battle & build your story around that. and angie's right about the captions. making them transparent is like a screendoor submarine. the whole idea of putting a box around them is to keep the text clear & distinct & easy to read. having the background seep into that box behind the letters starts to have an effect on the legibility. and besides, they're just kind of bleh to look at.
hope you stick around after the tourney. this was fairly good but you're only bound to get better.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 07:47 PM
Puzzlething-you have a very good eye for color and I love the tones that you used. But I would have preferred a black and white entry that looks more finished than colors. Sketchy can work fine, but there are instances where it got overpowering and confusing like the establishing shot on the first page. I think it would have also helped to break up your text into more digestible chunks. Like you have a lot of text, which is fine, but when it's all in the same word bubble my attention kind of wanders. You can keep the tons of text, just break up the word bubbles a tad so it's not like word onslaught.

Jinbee-welcome to Void, please stay around! I liked the simple color palette and the characters' expresssions. The only thing I didn't care much for is the transparent word bubbles. It always comes across as a cop out to me since it's like "I didn't want to cover my art so I'm gonna make the bubbles transparent". Always make sure you plan ahead where the word bubble will lie so you're not covering anything important. There's also instances where the transparency hindered my ability to read the text like on page 4.

sixtem
Artist
395 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 05:05 PM
Puzzle - Super creative battle. I love the warm colors you used. Some of your narration throughout the battle seemed a little mismatched with what was going on in the panels, but the all in all the story was solid. Cliche, but funny ending.

Jinbee - Clean work and I can't wait to see some more from you. Nothing really stood out to me, though. There wasn't really much in the way of a story or characterization, so I didn't feel any tension from the action. Being a bit more adventurous with your camera angles could add some interest, too.

The One Dark Knight
Artist
128 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 03:03 PM
Puzzlething that was very creatively done. Nice painterly style and hilarious end. <3

Jinbee - looked clean but nothing that really grabbed me here

William_Duel
Community Manager
924 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 8 2010, 03:01 PM
Haha this was fun.

Puzzlething, your story was great and  I was anticipating the butterfly effects in your story and I think you worked them out in a marvelous yet hilarious way.  Your colors are great and so is your sense of composition, but this could have used some cleaning up.  I'm not a big fan of the sketchiness that's present in some of the art.  On the first page though, one example I see is that when you have Jacky against that complicated background I feel it looks kinda awkward, like she doesn't stand out much from those complicated shapes.  Maybe she could have used some lightertones to make her pop.  But yeah, tons of fun.

Jinbee, I enjoyed your first void entry.  I'd love to see more from you in the future.  I'm a little disappointed though because I was hoping to learn what makes Jacky tick.  Like a bit of backstory or even why she has such an unusual sword.  Your action is a bit stiff and you should remember that in comic books action has to be wildly exaggerated for a more dynamic and visual experience.  I think you got Sam's personality down pat and that was pretty cool though the whole random fight scenario is a bit played out.  Either way, this was a fantastic entry and I hope you stick around long after SDT is over.

Jinbee
Artist
7 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 7 2010, 10:33 PM
Pages uploaded!:D
Sorry I couldn't provide preview images!

Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 7 2010, 03:11 PM
Uploaded. Sorry about the lack of preview images Angie, I felt like I was shaving it too close and just submitted. :(

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 7 2010, 11:33 AM
Reminder for all of you uploading tonight, please read this in the event your upload fails before coming to the mods
http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=10641.0

Red
Council
636 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 2 2010, 10:48 AM
I AM EXCITE.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 31 2010, 02:38 PM
http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=11075.msg186023#msg186023

for the new comer to read! Good luck you two!

Airlight
Artist
136 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 31 2010, 02:25 PM
FUCK YEAH PUZZLETHING, And GOOD LUCK JINBEE ON YOUR FIRST FIGHT!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 14th, 2010
Votes Cast: 42
Page Views: 1081
Winner: Puzzlething
 

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