I think Coldstream is a good comic artist, as I said before WAY better then anything I could ever do. I WAS trying to help and I DO think I gave some solid advice, but yeah I did come off like a fat jerk. I had something else in my craw... No hard feelings hopefully

both are these are good strong entries.....with some very happy results from you both trying some new stuff...you should be pleased with your efforts

I just wish your friends would actually help you with advice and proper reviews like they were honestly trying to help instead of always trying to line up the votes for you.......i dunno i guess I think helping you improve is more important than false victories

amazingdavid: I like the speed that comes off your art from the way you draw it, personally.

David-There's not too much I can say that I didn't cover on your other comic that's up, but color wise I would have liked it had you incorporated more white into the characters as highlights so everything won't blend together so much. I thought the pacing was very good on this but I didn't get into the story as much. I was fine with being tossed head first into the story, but there was a lot of information there but I didn't seem to absorb any of it. Like okay Flint is running, he's doing shit for someone, people are fighting, there's some action, okay, the end. Like you may have explained stuff but I guess I just didn't absorb it.

Coldstream-It was nice to see you do something more playful, I think you had a better grasp of how to handle characters on this comic. In your previous comics everyone kind of acted the same so it was a nice departure. One thing to watch out for is how faded your coloring is. I can understand that you may not want your coloring to overpower your lines, and that's totally fine, but in this comic it looks more like there were scanner problems that ate your colors than you intentionally making everything super light. I'd like to see you continue experimenting with color, just make sure they pop a little more in the future.

David, I absolutely love your colors and inks. They mesh so well, it's bold, yet gritty. I'm interested in seeing where you take this story, I also like the universe you're fleshing out here. Paneling was an interesting choice. I don't know if they all needed to be rounded boxes, but it seemed to work out okay. Some issues with empty space because of it, a little here and there, most noticeably on pages 10 and 11. Nit-picking a bit, but you can take it. The last page is pretty boss, I'd like to see you experiment more with the splatter coloring.

Coldstream - you also had great colors, but (and perhaps it was because of reading it after david's) it felt washed out. More saturated blues and reds would have been nice, I think, or at least more use of shadow, like on the first panel of page 3. Most of the rest felt flat by comparison. On page 6 things started looking more bold and dynamic, but page 7 went back to looking rather pale. I love the ending panel though, very well executed and very nice looking. Wasn't sure where you were going with the story though, it kinda wobbled awkwardly for a bit, then jumped into a fight scene, then went to a buddy moment. Not really sure what you were going for.

Anyhow, very strong entries from both of you, keep up the amazing work!

Great job guys! Both entertaining reads... everything has been said pretty much. And oddly enough I enjoyed Amazingdavids lettering more than colds... I guess because i appreciate the effort that it takes to do it.

But seriously david .... The ruler does work, i just did it on my battle... it was weird and hard as hell to get the hang of hand lettering, but it was hell of fun....

I got an Aimes lettering guide and sad to say..... it made me feel totally retarded... For the life of me i couldn't figure it out... Lame.

Nah, I'm saying it's not done well, and that is WHY I don't particularly like it.
If Cold works on correcting some of that stuff, his work would really benefit. I'm not saying he's not good.
I just was comparing him to other pro's that are "pro's' but have faults that they never corrected and it became part
of their style and hindered their work.

I'm done though, I won't argue it anymore.
I did want to send a little heads up though too, it's not allowed to put your battle up anywhere before and during voting. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=203933&id=100000050107459

ooo ok, gotcha

so you're saying to fix it cus YOU don't particularly like it, not cus it isn't done well, right?

I didnt think it was a bad critique 90% of my problems are because I rush through every drawing...so technically "slow down" is the best advice I can receive

That's why I don't crit much, by the way.

I didn't mean the "style", Davids is stylized too... in a different way, but stylized none the less.

 I can't say it much different then that... something to work on anyway... we ALL have stuff to work on.
If someone were to redline the stuff it'd be CLEAR what I mean. Bodies are off axis. Faces are bulging, melting, sliding
off of the center point. Everybody, even "normal" people, such as the newscaster at the end look the toxic avenger facially.
 Let's not get it twisted, I think there is LOTS of potential... that's just MY opinion of stuff to work on.
Dave I have a harder time seeing advice to give to, other then, "Slow down!" That could be my fault as a critic though.

and I agree as well with my friend who knows it all, and the david who is kinda amazing, Let's judge on overall work not on the fact they are stylized in their field.

agreed twice!!

LOL. take THAT Wildcard!!!!
But seriously, Carl my man don't let distinctive stylization get to you as it does. If the same were across the board and we were all aiming for anatomical super accuracy,we wouldn't appreciate folks like Heimie and Fowlie,which are two of my top favs in regards to individualism. Even your style sets you apart, though not as accurate you continued to perfected it, which keeps me siding for you.

Diversity keeps this site pumping.

Cold- All your comics are kinda weird looking to me, like they should be good... but they're just off the mark. And I don't know what it is, but that missing the mark is almost offensive to me. Like Ian Churchill, Billy Tucci, or Rob Liefeld: stuff is just... off, weird, wonky.. and though you're better then anything I could even attempt to do (as those artists are also) I get pissed off looking at it.
 Hers's some of the stuff that I can see: All of your bodies and faces are lopsided, slanted, off center, pulled to one side. The weight and gravity of everything seems really off kilter. People all look like they're gonna topple over any second. Also, the figures look empty.
The watercolor looked really nice though.

Dave- Your art was on point man. Good stuff.

Stick with the hand lettering. Maybe do less pages and spend more time on each page... but it was still pretty, so that's really up to you.

david, I couldn't follow the story very well, up until the end I thought Flint had been sent to pick up the general's kid. It didn't stop me from enjoying the comic though. But I think your more complex comics tend to get confusing so I only have a flimsy grasp of what's going on as I read. I dunno maybe that's your intention.
yay hand-lettering!
lol bunny-Ben!

Oops sorry, I didn't notice I was signed in under wildcardice's name, my b.


All kidding aside though, not bad. David, this was fucking boss. This felt really great and read really great, and I dunno if you intended the vagina painting the way I read it, but if you did it was fucking clever. If DAPShow ever gets offices I'm getting a giant vag painting for behind my desk for when I need to make people uncomfortable. Negatives, the drawing got a little rough in places, but overall this is just a really great piece of work. Well done.

Cold, not my thing, but not bad. The comic work is getting better for sure. Traditional mediums are working in your favor for the most part, but you might want to colour before you ink in the future, or go over the inks again in places where the watercolours start tinting the inks. You need to be careful about keeping your blacks black. And just a personal thing, I REALLY don't get why you don't draw complete jawlines. That NEVER looks good. It makes the characters look chinless and flat.

Good job the both of you.

*TEEHEE*

no death matches pepperoni!! ;P

Not much input I can give that hasn't already been given.

AmazingDavid-

On the lettering: I liked the hand lettering. Don't drop it entirely, please. But definitely go through your comic a couple of times after the bulk of it is finished and fix the writing up- and WHOA okay you went through it seven times never mind then. BUT I LIKED IT. Well, the idea/style of it. And I suppose the only way to get better at it is to keep doing it. Or is that encouraging bad habits? uh. UH. I liked the lettering. It makes me want to hand letter my stuff, but I probably won't because I just don't got what it takes.

Story was nice. Someone mentioned jumper, but really there aren't that many ways I can see teleportation powers going. But I suppose that should just be a challenge to think outside the box. Well, yeah, the whole magic thing is sort of outside the box maybe. I guess that's cool maybe I guess maybe that's cool maybe I guess.

I liked the big painting of the flower. I guess when it boils right down to it, you had to make the comic on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen and sorry to say this is one instant that drawing the vag would save you(!?!?!?)

Coldstream-

I like these new guys.


I'm kind of, uh, iffy on the situational humor thing. You're selling a funny comic. I thought it was kind of funny.

Are they at a gay bar? A gay chicken wing bar? Is that a Chicken wing bar chock full of gay dudes? Why was dark crusader making a smoochy face? Is he also gay? Is the gayness the joke?

But I don't think you should read too much into it, because it can easily be chopped up to personal preference. Some people will find 2 super hero buff dudes having all-out war over something as trivial as the last chicken wing side-splitting, other people will wonder where the punch line is. Some people will love it, some people will hate it.

You like action shots, and forcing everyone to sit still goes against your style. But that is a healthy thing, I think, because you seem to be treading out of your comfort zone; A+. Bad habits are still there, but they are breaking.

You keep getting caught up in silly drama/debates that have little to nothing to do with you. Absolute condolences.


Those are my 2 cents.

Not sure where to vote. Mulling it over.


(No, seriously though, why was he making smoochy faces?)

well that wasn't a crit, just biased chicanery. poorly written too, so don't be too amazed, fox.

i like the use of black fills in yours, dave. it got a little too rushed/sloppy in spots, but there's this vague pope/fox thing going on that works fairly well. i think you should work to tighten it up & be just a little more clear with it in spots. the perspective was off kilter but again, i don't think it's so much a matter of capability so much as a matter of just tightening up & giving it the same amount of effort you're giving your characters. nice to see you giving the handlettering a go. not so hot the first time around here, but good effort. again, i'd echo slowing down & taking your time with that. don't rush it. and perhaps use a smaller sized pen/brush to kind of keep them from looking so big & sloppy. at times, i really liked how the sound fx's were incorporated but other times they didn't have as much love. basically, what i'd want to see is more consistency in the future. give it all the same amount of work. i liked how it read, but i wasn't quite sure if i was digging the rounded panel corners. kinda felt like it was cutting us out of that much more of what was going on in the comic.

cold, nice work with the colors, but i have to be honest about getting bored during your story. in comparison to other battles, i get the sense that you're trying to push your angles more but there's still more often than not these straight ahead or straight profile angles & they don't engage or excite as much as capturing something from an angle (and by angle, I don't necessarily mean dutching the camera like panel 2 on page 2, as ultimately that's another flat angle shot just rotated). that third page is all talking heads. while they may dip or tilt their heads, we're still seeing these bust-like shots that don't really do much to generate excitement/interest. also, they kind of work to make the anatomy seem stiff & rigid as it's just this head & shoulders, straight up & down or tilted at a joint but not naturally. that kind of continues until we see them in full body shots. also i think you could stand to shrink your text balloons/captions some. they're covering up a lot of art by being a little too unnecessarily large.

How's about a critique on lettering to even out that shit?

One thing I learned is that the ruler is your bestest buddy in the whole wide world! You need to figure out what size of text you want overall, like maybe 5mm per character. So you make brackets that are 6mm between each line. The only time you really want to increase size of letters is when you WANT TO MAKE A POINT OR HAVE YOUR CHARACTER SOUND REALLY REALLY LOUD! This can also be done with BOLD text, but if you use bold text too much you risk sounding like Frank Miller, you can also shrink the word balloon to make speech louder, and shrink the text/expand the word balloon in order to make somebody sound like they're whispering.  If you want to stretch out a word or emphasize something you can put it in italics "I could help you but it'll cost you."

That's about all I really know about lettering.

man crits never cease to amaze me

I honestly think this is the most honest critique I've ever gotten..Thanks Wildcard do you have any suggestions on how I could do better?

my virgin eyes!

unknowingly opening up these pages, showing my office Void and what I do in my free time- low and behold, a fucking twat in my face! I'm too embarrassed to finish my critique! I just know all I can say is I love amazingdavids panel layout and inking...

... vagina.

stopped...

except one more vagina...

vagina!

PC: That was the reason I drew it so large honestly I mean...vaginas is vaginas you can't change that...I think the idea of taste i general is a subjective idea. I wasn't drawing it to illicit orgasm so its not pornography and its not art in the grandiose sense...and if you look in the other comic..it's gratuitous there as well. Outside of Georgia O'Keefe paintings who in their right mind would paint giant vaginas other than to point out attention to the fact that it's a giant vagina...

I like typing vagina...


vagina...

Before this gets too heated lets stop the vagina debate here.

OK, clearly you guys have misunderstood me here, but first: THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT CARLITO! YOU MUST FEEL OHHHH SOOOO CLEAVER FOR SPOTTING THAT! Asshole!

I just said that I do not mind nudity, if it's tastefully done (something even I have a hard time doing I'll admit) then it's not so much of a problem for me. My problem however is that I think the up-close shot's a bit too gratuitous and unnecessary considering the overall tone of the comic. I missed the other times that this was included BTW and goes to show how good of an eye I have (but looking back it still seems like something unnecessary), and I also get the idea that it's displayed in a porn mistresses place of business, but that thing takes up half a page! What was the point of doing that aside from maybe giving me something to print out and hide for later when I'm feeling lonely?

Again, I am NOT AGAINST NUDITY, I just don't think this was tastefully done and that's a problem. Am I wrong for thinking this?

Daveed, I thought it got a bit too abstract for my tastes. Half the time I saw you in my head, dreads swinging, yelling "FUCK ANATOMY BITCHES, I can piss this shit out in an hour and a half, when I am drunk!." I mean it looks cool, but it seems more like an abstract painting to me and is a little hard to understand. Never, ever, under any circumstances, hand letter again. I t was quality and I enjoyed it though... At least someone knows what the fuck to do with GM...

Professor Stream,
The watercolors did seem a little too light for me and the anatomy is still a bit loose for your style. The only thing that entirely enraged me is that Ghost Revolver's guns are improperly holstered. He has a reverse holster. You will be getting all "1s" for that alone. It is a good idea for an establishing shot, (like at the table with Rev and Flint Locke) to show all the faces. You introduce Flint and Rev, but we don't see Rev's face till a page later. Its just good practice to show everyone's face when you introduce new characters, after the introduction, it's less necessary. I would also watch the head/neck size, Rev had a pretty meaty neck in a few of the close-ups and a long dome. I enjoyed the story! Great job!

Gentlemen, what we have here is QUALITY.

Great work from both of you. Some simple critiques and points you guys might wanna work on a bit:

Amazingdavid: Good shit. I think a few points for you to focus on is tightening up your perspective, and in the first several pages there, it's really difficult to decipher what's going on with the shadows. Slow down, think about how you want the light to flow, and don't be afraid to show faces-- it was hard to understand what was happening when Flint teleported and kicked the two guys. Because we'd only seen silhouettes, it was a little confusing to know WHO exactly he was kicking-- the guy who was talking, the leader? Remember that lighting from directly behind is good for really dramatic things, but if the silhouette isn't easily readable, it's a BAD angle because you don't know who it is. Other than that, excellent stuff-- love the motion and expression. Keep up the good work.

Coldstream: Not much to really say! You have solid perspective, excellent figures with perfect proportions. The colors are good, you bring nice expression, but it felt a little short. Especially when your opponent did over twice... wow. But that's hardly something to fault you for, as it was a nice, well contained story with a little character expose. One thing I'd like to see from you is actually showing off action scenes, I know the little panel-violence-montage was there to make the humor flow better, but I'd still like to see it.

Great work guys. And on the nudity note, I think that should be up to the artists to decide if they want to warn or not. I'll echo many others and say: This website has plenty of clear warnings. Simple as that.

It's all about the vag!!

I'll crit later, but that you aren't allowed to put nudity or whatever the hell else you want in comic is ridiculous!
This is NOT a kids site. There are various places that is stated, and this has NEVER been a kids site.
James battles often had nudity.. among others, tons of battles have drug references ( some characters are purely drug comic battle characters), and there is ultaviolence abounding ( including a death tournament! )

Also RedBlood Phill in Angela vs Phill part 2 Page 22 has nudity with no EXTRA warning, ( vagina too) why was that cool?

Nice backhanded compliment Fox!! I thought I was your favorite teacher??

I wanted to vote for dave, it was a great story and AWESOME painting on the wall, but I had to be honest and give the slight nod towards Coldstream. All based on story. Like both works though.

oooh look now you have a vague lead in...kinda..sorta..

maybe

Gotta admit... I was excited when I saw Gen Misconduct... was thinking of a possible storyline between she and DC. ... must go... siren song of giant vagina painting is calling me...

Everbody: Text-- this I will honestly say is the best version of the hand lettering I did. I seriously lettered this comic 7 times and this is as good as its going to get for now. I've been told to switch from digital to hand letters so I'm trying it. Bare with me...any specific techniques/tools I could use to make this better would be much appreciated.

Phil C: That vagina painting (as well as three other giant vaginas) were in Sebastian Rockwell vs. Flint Locke no one said anything about them in that so I thought it didnt matter. Also Balance Inks check.

VoR: Will consider a cost...I thought not being able to transport people was enough but it's proven to still be formidable.

MrNo.: My secret formula has been discovered....must change soon...

Thanks D... ya know I luv ya!! ; P

Dave,dope panel placement and pacing considering you dropped us in mid story. Though I must say I feel like your opponents are kinda installed in your story with no attachment nor reason. As a result, it gives me this routine "Flint get pummeled by (insert your character here) but escapes" despite your creative approach. You got this style down, as seen in past victories, but don't let it lead you to the "Mad-lib"esque writing.

HBH,kudos to the colorful approach this time around. The vibrant panels and silhouette style you sprinkled def showed the variety your capable of. Now don't be afraid to go deeper with your stories. SCORE with your situational humor, but don't rely on it every time. DC and his little Pink Swallow (eh? you like that?) has potential that deserves to be exploited! THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE A "DUO", GET USED TO IT!!!

...oh and your welcome on the Pin-up AND taking lead on breaking out the watercolors .
Now let's do this.

I'll critique this later but http://entervoid.com/ there's a nice little warning on the bottom of the main page so people do know what they're going into. I believe it's up to the artist whether or not they include a NSFW warning since it's written out on the main page itself. For the youngins it's kind of view at your own risk for any comic that goes up.

Alotta Fagina!!

Just wanted to give mrnoitaull props for the thumb splash!!! Thanks D!!

Not bad, could be much better though.


David: First thing is first dude...


We've got young people here who regularly visit this website, I've got no objection to nudity at all, but an up-close shot of open vagina warrants a NSFW warning, PERIOD! That shit don't slide with me! Put up a warning next time or don't include that shit at all!


Onto the comic... first thing that really stuck out to me was the lettering, sometimes letters were sticking to other letters, the words would shrink in order to fit into teeny tiny little balloons, and sometimes the letters would vary in size in random words. Wanna know a quick way to fix that? Go digital! Write down the text with a nice font choice, and fit a word balloon around it, simple, easy and it will not affect the quality of this comic, in fact it'd make this look a lot better.

The inks, now, you've got good inks and all that, but a lot of the time they were blending characters into the backgrounds, and other times you seem to go crazy with the ink details like drip effects and brush splatters. Page 16, first panel, Flintlock is close to becoming one with the background here. There's nothing wrong with the inks, and I may be alone in thinking this, but I feel like you should let up a bit on the inks or more specifically: the brush effects and splatter marks. Gotta find the right balance.

The story, I'm sorry dude, but this story just screams "Jumpers" at me, and that movie wasn't very good BTW. The main problem I had was really just understanding the story you've got here, the beginning part was good, had lots of important build-up, but the last part stumbles over itself. What got me confused was Flint's ability in question and how he escaped at the end, I realize he escaped using magic, but that came out of nowhere for me. Isn't he half ninja or something? It'd be more than plausible if he pulls out a hairpin from his mouth or something and ported out of there, what really gets me is that on the 4th read I finally noticed that he's being put into a van. The whole magic thing just seems like a big ass pull, I'm willing to believe that ninja's can teleport, leave it at that!

Overall though, I feel like you could of done much much much better, and I have seen better from ya. Anything I don't mention though is considered to be good.



Coldstream: Not bad, I think the use of watercolors is nice, but... it was way too bright considering the atmosphere you had going on here. Darker colors are a must. The story was OK, but one of the parts that confused me was the bottom part of page 4, was DC talking, or was it Ghost? The gray hand might of tipped me off, but in my mind Ghost is also gray even though you made him beige.

Anatomy... dude, your necks are horrible, and why is that chick's face in panel 2 on the last page sliding inwards? I think it's time you hit up some Andrew Loomis for a quick brush up on the basics man. Overall though, this comic was OK, I'm giving you my vote.



Again, not bad, David's needs a NSFW somewhere if you ask me, a bit messy, but it was OK. Cold's however was more appealing for me, it was cleaner and easier to understand without having to go over it multiple times.

Cold- The watercolor was well worth the wait..especially the last panel of the last page. The story for me gave me a lot of laughs was light hearted and ranked in the buddy story catagory for me...and sadly the opening page was gratuitous because I thought chick Flint was an awesome idea..I'm totally gonna do a cross gender story now..Overall this was good. there were some weird anatomical issues like on the people who aren't muscle bound their heads and necks are too big (e.g. Flint and Pablo) I've always dug your scenery and perspective it's something I need to work on like a mofo...But honestly the water color was killer and has me thinking of breaking out the set and doing up some Dub Cees...

anywho it was fun battling you let's do it again soon...and by soon I mean next year..

I knew it!!

oooooh yeah.  You're a real grown up with responsibilities and a life n stuff...while I just sit in my house watching cartoons and drawing all day. and eatin cheesy poofs

Makin' you wait... if you wanna come babysit, it would make it faster!!

uuuugh gawd...you're not the only one...

uuuugh gawd...the anticipation is killing me...

re uploaded aaaaaaaaand I'm done...

oh this should be gah...gah..........goooooooooooooooooooooood..... ...

UPLOADED SUCKA...but I might reletter right now it's pretty illegible...but I gots life to live yo so you bitches might have to deal with it...

Then stop chattin' and git ta work!


I expect good tings from yous twos. Good luck.

Mr. Fancy pants is almost done... well I aint suckas!!

..mmmm..50% done...Ima upload before Mon...

ice... too nice... dunno.

um...I never default...EVER! my ice is too nice to default...

One default comin' up!!

C'mon now , am I ever?!

Best of luck, you two. This should be greatness that's been long overdue.
Please make up for the MARATHON of defaults and disappointments these past few months..please

Are you insinuating something Mrnoitaull??

You think everything is abt young men!.

Got 6 sequential pgs and one Pin-Up laid out in pencils and some inks. Lots of grins, sneers, and SMHs... old man's picking up on this new lingo!!

Thought it was Young Men's Club of America... lets not talk about Christian Voids... people hate me enough on this site!!

Young Men's Christian Void? Void Men's Christian Association...haaahahahahahahahaha


hahahahha....I wanna get up in some Christian Void...

Wouldn't it be YMCV??

VEEEEEE  EEEEMMMM CEEEE AAAAAYY

It'll never end!!

STOP WITH THE BAD GAY JOKES ALREADY!! WE CAN'T DEAL WITH 21 MORE DAYS OF THEM!! ; 0;

Asian Pirates, Psychotic Knights, Indian Cowboys, and Flaming Squires... could be Void's version of The Village People!!

LOL! well Hell Im torn....cus Im no longer being graded EITHER!..but the questional biracial love still exist.

He's not getting grades from me anymore... he just loves me!

Suck up.

DC ALLL THE WAY!

It's my mutant power... I can change race, nationality, and sexual persuasion at will!!

Cold I didnt know you were a Black Gay Canadian...

Chicken wings, roller skates, moose knuckles, and bad assery!!

Pussy + Draaaank = Happy me

I gotta a case of malt liqueur and a couple of strippers... actually 5 cats and a couple diet sodas!! Same dif!!

If that price is a half eaten Pistachio Butter and Ham sammich and a thing of M&M's I got you...

It's better than coming in the closet... ba-dump-bump!!

Flint locke is finally coming out of the closet.

PROF BATTLE!!!!

Battle of the profs!!