This is amazing. Yes, you need to work more on anatomy, and yes, your sequentials are a little rough, but DAMN your writing is good! I love this character more and more. there's so much emotion! I got sucked in. Keep up the great work.

Hey, I liked the conclusion, London. That was pretty nifty stuff.
NICE FIRST, man.
Anyway-- the first thing I noticed, reading this: you like big noses, huh? Keep an eye on your anatomy. You've got the skill. Just... take a little more time, next round.
What was going on with your lineart? It wasn't consistant.
Consider drawing on larger canvas sizes-- some of the wobblyness in your lines will dissapear when you shrink things down. Secondly, treat your ink less like a sketch medium, and more like a paintbrush. Think long, continuous lines without breaking.

Bravo, anyway. I'm a fan of Mr. Faraday, and I can't wait to read more from ya. Ciao!

This story was good and the colors not too shabby, your linework needs a little work though, a bit more confidence is needed in your lines because that sketchy quality doesn't help you much here.  Work on your shapes a bit, especially the human ones, but great for a first comic.  Really great, it'll be cool to see where you go with this.

Give your letters some 'elbow room' in your word bubbles, and make them a point or two bigger.  Easy instant improvement.

Anatomy, consistency, and composition--as well as panel layouts--Just practice...  Necks, Profiles, and Hands.
Paneling always seems to come as a surprise.  Before folks try it, they don't give it a second thought.

Did you use the 'draw them big and shrink it down before coloring' trick for your lines?  'Cause I think you should.

I enjoyed the story you had going here but I think it would have helped a lot to make the text just a tad larger. I could still read it fine, but it was a little hard on my eyes. One thing to watch out for is the shoulder area of the characters, like you have the neck then the shoulders are significantly lower than they should be in comparison to the neck in most of your panels. I look forward to your next battle, you've got me interested in the character.

Coldstream- Thanks man, I'm glad you liked it. As for the text I was afraid it was a too small but I had never done a page before so I wasn't sure what size I should shoot for, next time I'll go for 9 or 8. And I'm always trying to get better on anatomy so definitely gonna be practicing. And for some reason inking kills me, I dont know why I just have a really hard time with it, but I'm also working on that so here's hoping.

Mrnoitaull- Pretty much the same as above haha but thanks, i'm glad you like the writing and I hope to improve cause my goal is to have this character be heavily story driven.

Kuro- I see what you mean about overcrowding with text, and after it was all inked and lettered I was concerned about the pacing as well. I'll definitely work on that in the BB I'll be doing next. As for the layouts I'm completely at a loss as to how to organize them. I don't feel comfortable enough to try anything overly flashy and I just am not sure how to approach them. Is there a tut somewhere on the forums? I haven't been able to find one online. But yea I'll definitely try and change it up more so its not so banal.

Fox- I'm in Western PA - luckily, I think we're done with the snow for the time being, but it totally messed up our weekend

London - My side's going up as a BB for sure. I love your take on Jane, and I really like your coloring - I'm a big color-freak, so I applaud any techniques that make me smile

this was nice & ambitious, but you're squeezing a lot on to each page. a lot of text & a lot of action. in some cases, that's fine, but in this case when every page is this dense it gets a little daunting. the general rule of thumb i've heard is you don't want more text on a page then you can fit on an index card. if one page goes a little over, fine. but at the same time, you don't want to reach that limit with every page either. really, you have to pace yourself a bit better.
and i wasn't a fan of the layouts. a lot of the time, you have a lot of horizontal panels with the character drawn fairly small in the center of them. there's some variance but there's just so much of it. think about the composition of your page & what you're trying to show. for instance, give action room to breathe. you're adding it for excitement, right? plan your layouts around it instead of trying to squeeze it into smaller layouts.
all & all it was good though, so keep battling & you'll only improve.

Yeah I agree with the one below me. I really like ur writing and choice in paneling ALMOST to the point where I can excuse the anatomy stuff..but still work on it a tad.

London- good job for a first contribution. Make your text bigger... it was big enough to read, but small enough to be painful! I liked the story a lot!! Work on your line quality and your anatomy... al in all, good stuff!!

AWW man are you in the DMV area? Cause this snow storm is kicking our butt. Especially since we getting more on tuesday and wednesday!

Kent you gonna put it up as a BB?  I really want to see it

I swear I finished! But thanks for understanding - I really learned my lesson on defaulting after the Chia battle, I promise

I'll make it up to y'all someday, with, I dunno, a cake or something

I was just informed Kent's power is out after I put the comic up so don't hate him for defaulting.

Uploaded!

Thanks AJ!
It's going to be hawt

Wow this will be awesome!
Good luck to both of you.

Lets make some magic happen children.

Some fresh meat that looks an awful lot like your Tony...

I likes me some fresh meat. Good luck!

Thanks Angie

And yes Kent, it is brought

Thanks
London's gonna bring it, this I know for sure
And I sure as heck aint defaultin' agin

Good luck guys!  

First battle... Yipes