you're welcome

Thanks for the crits guys, always a pleasure. David, thanks for playing with meee!

Mike : I'm going to explain KN in a BB at some point in time called Jakarta...the backstory for a character that isn't mine and who isn't as cool as KN...KN will prove to be the superior model...also that is Sebastian...I guess I didn't mention his name simply out of laziness...

Sloane, this was fun, you have the same "crowded panel syndrome" as me. I would suggest leaving more negative space in your panels, that would help with the lettering too, which was a bit difficult to read. I would work on making it more ledgible and straight. I loved your style and your take on Void City. I know you have dealt with the other bad star characters before, but its a good idea to at least say their names so people have an idea who they are. Most comics and even tv shows make a habit of saying a characters name sometime near the beginning for the benefit of people who hadn't watched the previous episode.

Daveed, I think sometime your faces get a bit out of control, like with smitty, his face looks kind of like a war zone. Um is that Sebastien? I don't know because you don't actually tell us who he is. Same with KN. Who is the worst character ever created and will die three horrible deaths... I enjoyed everything else, all thats left is nit picky things. word.

aaaaaaah....ya got me...

clever boy that Jack

Hahaha well you are what you eat.

tabbies and calicos....and those asian hairless ones...

Cats?

mmmmmm pussy...

Jack you reminded me of my favorite thing to eat..

Hahaha would you prefer I go back and say it on all the battles where it happens or just the most recent?



Eeeeexactly. NO EXCUSES, PUSSY.

Give him a mustache to show his distinguished age.

Jack: If you check some battle way way way way way back....I totally gave up on that shit...I think it was Craqued or Squid or Pong or someone mentioned that Flint doesn't look 15. Which is true and I totally agree...my explanation is, he's also 274 years old...so he's had some rough times...very very very rough....

oooor I can't draw teenagers and need to work on that shit...

A full critique is on the way but something fairly important was just mentioned in passing.

David have you ever SEEN a 15 year old?

AmazingDavid: Amazing inks. I love it! In the beginning it seemed like it was a bit busy, but then you went all SIN CITY and it spaced things out a lot better. I really enjoyed it. If you were going to use halftones though... you probably should've used them MORE so it was consistent or not use them AT ALL. Your work did not need them in the first place since there was enough contrast as it is.
Storywise, I got bored quickly. Perhaps I was just more captivated looking at the artwork or I just wasn't into it. It was pretty good though. Great quality.

Sloan: Wonderful style. Honestly, I got a feeling of "Marley Zarcone (shortfury)"-ness. Who is ... really one of my favorite artists right now. The style pulled you over in my favor a bit more. I love the tones, you pulled them off very well. Not over-bearing- but also not too little use of em- PERFECT. Story-wise, I kinda felt the same way with yours. That's okay though.

Great work you two!

Cool... Draxx urn!!

David: Robot panties.  *thumbs up*
Sloane: I really like the story.

And all that stuff pong said.

OK.  You both got a problem in common.  Your word bubbles, are the worst aspects of both of these comics.  AD: a lot of your bubbles are really cramped - you've got to put more space to make it easier to read because the words are too close to eachother and they're too close the edges of the bubbles most of the time.  Sloane, for the most part yours were ok - but where they were bad they were really bad - the bottom panel of page 5 is probable the worst in terms of bubble layout.  Elswhere some of your lettering gets real sloppy.

AD: Artwise this was great. Good use of black, but balanced with some detail and some texture, a nice effect overall.  The only thing that bothers me was the inconsistent use of half tone - and its softness in areas where it fades to white.  Possibly using a coarser tone would work better with a high contrast inking style like this.  Also if you're not doing the toning full size, you should be. I'm not really into the story.  The jokes were good, though the delivery was kind of stale. Also the extremely canted angles for no apparent reason is kind of tripped me up.  Not bad, pretty good comic overall.

Sloane: I love the style you have got going here.  I love your lines, beautiful use of varying weights. The tones were great, your black placement is great. Story was kind of ho-hum but it moved along nicely so it was fun to read, so I was decently entertained.  You could have cleaned up some of the pages better, as there is some stray pencil (especially in/around speech bubbles).  But overall an enjoyable comic to read.

22 is my lucky number, so this better be good you two! Haha.

Good luck!

j ____ j

extended due to work and my fists being used as a wrecking ball

already?! wowzerrrr

Im uploaded...

well if its the only one I ever do its the first and the last...

first?

I think this is going to be my last comedy comic...

I admire you both so I'll be happy as long as you guys put something up <3 Good luck!

good luck guys.

GAN BA DE

>=(  fuck my computer. That comment wasnt for you. Sorry!

GOOD LUCK!

I hope you finish on time, Pong! I know you said you weren't doing well!

Oh mans, Swallow back in the fray and I'm gushing out of every fat orifice in pure glee!
Good luck to you too David

I've seen some previews, and sloane is really going to saw some heads

Oh shit, David. I better see TWO A game comics. This is EXCITING.


Oh yeah uh, Sloane I guess I hope you do a good job too or whatever.

dun dun dunnnn

The sighting of Craqued made this day an even more amazing one!