Carlito - The background elements starting off looked pretty great, but between pages, they seemed to shift in stylization and consistency. Best to keep working on it on the same way as you did with the predecessor pages, you know? Page 1 had more dark shadows going for it then page 2 seemed to lose it, then page 3 all the diagonal cross hatching vanishes from the mountains and goes onto the characters. Jetamie pointed out something very good and that's the whole thickness deal going on between background-foreground elements. Thin for far-away objects, thicker for closer. See if you can also work in more line-variation to really step up your game with inking. I'd also look into facial shapes/features/contours at different angles. Overall solid work though, short and sweet.

Rikun -  I can only echo the comments about you needing to size down those pages. Cleaning up with your pencils would help too if you're not even going to put in the effort to ink. There's no backgrounds or indication of environment at all, which is a downright shame. At least the story was easy to follow.

carlito: i like how the backgrounds in this one are really ambitious. the way you chose to draw/tone them made them seem a bit flat, though.
normally, you would draw foreground elements with thicker lines than you would with background elements. it helps make the things up front stand out and the things far away fall back. similarly, your darks should be darker in the foreground than they are in the background. this has to do with how we see things (i think): when you look at something that’s close to you, there’s very little atmosphere between you and whatever it is you’re looking at, so it looks normal (in terms of color/shade); but when you look at something very far away, like a mountain, there’s a whole lot of atmosphere between you and it, so it appears faded.
what’s going on right now is the backgrounds elements are being drawn with thick lines and shaded with pure black, and they’re jumping to the front of the drawing.
otherwise, well done.

rikun: there’s only 3 pages here, and just a few panels on each page; you could’ve at least inked them. i thought the joke at the end was pretty funny, though.

Carlito: I wasn't really bothered by the short panels. We've had a variety of styles page-wise done... and as long as it isn't just splash page after splash page, I don't mind short panels like this, honestly. However, I am going to agree that you really need to be more consistent with faces. Itami's face was incredibly odd to me, along the lines of what Mel pointed out. (Eyes are also a sticking point with me, so I feel your pain there.) I didn't mind the ending so much, simply because it's something a bit different for the character(cliche in general, but the character has been such a bit of a stick it's nice to see something else.) and was kind of cute. Watch your faces.

Rikun: TIME MANAGEMENT. YOU NEEDS IT. A LOT. D:< At the VERY least you should have scaled down these pages. You know better. I needled you on AIM about getting it done. And you talked a good talk, but what you posted just shows that you don't seem serious about getting shit done. Get your head on straight and learn to get shit done.

Thanks for reading.

Rikun: Really hard to read a comic that is whider than your screen ressulotion.

Carlito: I realy liked the smoky dreamscapes in this. Your art just keeps getting better but the sizes of eyes seems to very alot.

I don't see how panel layout really matters, if you can do a page with 1 panel, then good on you.



Carlito: Not bad, I don't mind 3 panels per page as I often use 3 panels per page as well, Lune! Anyway, this whole comic was a bit simple however and that's not a bad thing, but it would be nice if it was a page or two longer. Now, anatomy, whatever references you're using is working, but you still lack the understandings of what you're drawing. Eyes seem to be your biggest problem area, but there's a rule of thumb that can help you out: When facing a person directly, the eyes are always in the middle of their head, and you can fit 5 eyes side to side across their face. Think of it like this on a face (OOOOO), second and forth O's are where they eyes go on the human skull.

Aside from that I did like the simple story, but I think you could of done more with this story. You get the vote.



Rikun: Dude... check, double check, and triple check your pages before you submit them. It's an easy mistake to overlook one over-sized page, but it gets ridiculous when every page is over-sized! I can't really say anything else about this comic that hasn't already been said I'm afraid. The effort to improve is there, but you need to put forth the effort.

Carlito: Concidering that your going out of town and you were moving during this, i think you did a really good job. The panel layout didn't really bug me that much, in fact i kinda liked it, it looked like kakemono (japanese scroll art). Also it looks like you put a lot of work into the backgrounds which is cool and i think it showed. Yeah you anatomy is a little off,  but i think your getting better at it. Keep working on it, we all need to practice that stuff anyways.  Judgeing from your past battles, it seems like you improve each battle, which is very commendable. I guess my major complant is i wish you would have sized it a little bigger. but other then that good show.

Rikun: Seeing as how you had 3 weeks i was hoping to see more then i did, like backgrounds or inks or SOMETHING, like mellanie said, you need time management big time. It reallly seemed to me like you forgot that you had a battle until the day before it was due, and threw up some thumbs. Not only that but your poses were really 2 dimentional and stiff, standing on one leg and such. Then also you didn't even take the time to size it so its at least readable. lastly your text is awful, hit up blambot and get some actual comic fonts. but other then that, nice work keep it up man! your getting better.

nice fight guys

Chia-Hui: I found I did not enjoy 3 panels per page (In my eyes, for a VOID battle, it's a lazy way of presentation and almost UNFAIR. In total, you basically did... 1-2 pages?). Quality wise, it won the most of the two, but definitely is not your best and appears messy.
Storywise, I was left wondering wtf was going on until the end, which was.. cliche, but gave me a "okay- well, thats cute". You have A LOT to work on with your anatomy and faces. Itami looks like a porker, then looks like she hasnt eaten in WEEKS when you see her cheek bones so prominent.. It goes back and forth! It needs to be more consistent. At least you turned something in.

Rikun: I do see some improvement from your last fights. I truly want to see a COMPLETE battle from you. Time management, Time management, Time management. Plan ahead even. Your poses are becoming less rigid, and slightly more fluid. Even your facial stuctures are improving. I would like to see you work in more details to make things A LOT less plain. Storywise, it is old skool void. " OH HAY, BATTLE!!!!!". That's okay though. It's OUR ROOTZ. (Might not be okay with someone else, but HEY)

I don't have much else to say, but I'm glad you finished something. Keep going.

no thumbnails while I'm in WW

Man the battle hype got me.... well hype lol.

Thanks for reading.

Thanks for reading.

3 moar days. Lets go.

Thanks for reading.

Sweet! this hadnt appeared in my  radar

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

coolness

ooooooo SNAP!

Aye, good luck to the two of you!

This should be a good match guys.Work hard! I'll be looking forward to it!