Yolanda vs. Fedra

Yolanda vs. Fedra

Yolanda vs. Fedra

by petite

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629 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

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Critiques & Comments
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kirei-kuro
18 comments
# 21   Posted: Jul 30 2009, 01:46 PM
Petite, I really like your style. I thought the art was good, but the story was...awkward. I think it was just the way you relayed it in the panels. I know you said it's supposed to be short, but the ending still felt really abrupt.

To be honest, I like Roy a lot more than I like Yolanda.

michaelharris
Artist
352 comments
# 20   Posted: Jul 30 2009, 07:26 AM
On the first page, I would have put yolanda and fedra in the opening shot, just so we get a sense of where they are in the restaurant. We also never get a good look at Fedra on the first page either. The ceiling of the cafe is leaning a bit too... that may be just how the cafe is, but it looks like a drawing error. Your panels are a little crowded too. I love your drawings and your characterization too. Great job! The story seems to end abruptly though.

petite
Artist
7 comments
# 19   Posted: Jul 29 2009, 03:08 PM
I normally don't do things in pencils! One of those one time things like "I feel like doing this for a change." I'll have to practice more with them then.

I'll try breaking that habit of my speech bubbles. Thank you Salty. c:

Dr.Salt
Artist
90 comments
# 18   Posted: Jul 29 2009, 11:41 AM
horizontally
Quote

I meant vertically, rather.

Dr.Salt
Artist
90 comments
# 17   Posted: Jul 29 2009, 11:39 AM
This was a cute story, I enjoyed it, but I hope you do some more stuff with pencils like your intros.
One thing I think is worth mentioning is that you draw a lot of your speech balloons stretched horizontally, which is fine if you write horizontally (ie. in Japanese), but as it is it's just bunching all your text together.

petite
Artist
7 comments
# 16   Posted: Jul 29 2009, 11:09 AM
@Cara: Actually it was meant to be this short. It's finished, I promise. I didn't intend on adding pages because it was just a quick joke comic. I didn't want it to drag on. c:

@Zero: Thanks! I'll add more backgrounds in the future. :)

@Dured: I really had no idea that stuff was still going on...D:

Caravaggio
Artist
71 comments
# 15   Posted: Jul 29 2009, 05:32 AM
"This shouldn't count as my first battle, cause there was no battle. D> "
It will count and you will gloat over the mutilated bodies of your enemies while chugging beer with gold encrusted Vietnam vets whom you'll assure that you "left your badges at home"!

Also, that was seriously short, unfinished?  I liked the art, especially the first page, and would only recommend less contrast in your screen tones (let the pattern do the work) - but I can't say much more than that.

ZigZagZero
41 comments
# 14   Posted: Jul 28 2009, 09:13 PM
You petite! I like your artwork and page layouts. Very clean, very strong, I wished it had been longer though. The only real complaint I would have is backgrounds (and its not really a complaint). I like the amount of detail you put in them, but more would have been better. Overall I liked it. :)

Duredhel
Artist
114 comments
# 13   Posted: Jul 28 2009, 04:59 PM
Swine flu scare in Argentina, Angie, everything from trains to movie theaters is paralyzed, stores closed, buses not running, etc etc, its massive. Obviously a big problem for people who don't own a scanner and usually go to a copy place to scan >__<.  I myself have been unable to get in touch with Brilliantik, Gregos or Ledes at all, so I'm quite worried. I'll go back on Sunday and see how bad the situation really is.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 12   Posted: Jul 28 2009, 03:37 PM
It happens Petite, happened on my first battle too :(

petite
Artist
7 comments
# 11   Posted: Jul 28 2009, 03:19 PM
This shouldn't count as my first battle, cause there was no battle. D>

William_Duel
Community Manager
929 comments
# 10   Posted: Jul 28 2009, 03:17 PM
Ultimately petite I find your tones to be very distracting.  Considering that I'm playing around with them too, I dunno how I'd fix them but I'd make them round since they seem to be some sort of oval shape.  Otherwise this was a bit short but your art is great I think.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 28 2009, 03:14 PM
is there something in the water at the Orphanage? Just had to cancel a double default for an orphanage vs orphanage battle. Will post a detailed comment for petite later.

petite
Artist
7 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 26 2009, 08:39 PM
Uploaded...but done right the second time D8

William_Duel
Community Manager
929 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 11 2009, 04:56 PM
I expect fondling and more.

Espero mucha tocadera y huevadas.  Si huevadas.  Manosela.

Cracking Skulls
Artist
344 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 10 2009, 05:32 PM
make us happy you twooo  ;o;

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 7 2009, 12:00 PM
Good luck you two! I'm taking you next Brilliantik

Aluísio C. Santos
Artist
735 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 7 2009, 10:37 AM
lol spanish
Good luck apetite

petite
Artist
7 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 7 2009, 08:46 AM
yeah, seriously. :D

Duredhel
Artist
114 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 7 2009, 05:45 AM
Shony >:/ mas te vale que termines el beyond battle con drednaut

Yosai
Artist
74 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 7 2009, 03:09 AM
o_O seriously?

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Aug 4th, 2009
Votes Cast: 33
Page Views: 1434
Winner: petite
 

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