Massive Attack vs. Mr.Wallet

Massive Attack vs. Mr.Wallet

Massive Attack vs. Mr.Wallet

by Kon

49.8%
306 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference

50.2%
308 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Baracai
14 comments
# 30   Posted: Sep 15 2009, 03:13 PM
...I didn't know what was going on the whole time. D8

yardbirds
Artist
23 comments
# 29   Posted: Apr 9 2009, 06:01 PM
Good job, bornloser! There was a lot of awkwardness in terms of the flow and proportion of the human body (as well as some confusion with what was going on), but it was super awesome for a first timer. Don't give up!
Kon, I'm totally digging your style! My favorite part was the punching scene. What I would have worked on was the flow on page 6 (I also felt awkward about the panel with him holding the bag of coke on page 7). I would have also tried to clarify the conclusion.
Truly sad I couldn't vote on this, tata!

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 28   Posted: Apr 9 2009, 04:01 PM
The rats didn't steal the clothes, M.A. was just to bored to pick them up. But it was kinda unclear I guess. I did have to rush some faces and I'll try to make them a lot better in the nearby future : D

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
462 comments
# 27   Posted: Apr 9 2009, 09:42 AM
ah... I see now, I think it goes back to me not distinguishing the clerk from M.A. also that MA starts his punch with wallet in the foreground.

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 26   Posted: Apr 9 2009, 03:10 AM
Joshua: About Kons story. MA doesnt knock out wallet, how did you come to that conclusion? He hit the clerk. Or maybe you just wrote that wrong I dont know.

About the critique for me.
Thanks I'll keep working on it.

And long comments are good, keep giving those :P

Dimension: The woman is hit by the car. In the panel after you see her scream you see her feet flying out of the panel and a hit effect by the car. I should have added a sound effect i guess. Infact this comic has no sound effects, an error i will make sure to never repeat.
The thing everyone seems to be confused about is why they are chillin by the car. Well that was them acting like nothing to then suprise jump Wallet. I guess that got lost. I will be more careful about stuff like that in the future.

And about the backgrounds. Yeah, the background in the second panel of page 1 took more time to make than some pages. And I was pretty close to the deadline. Its something ill have to practice with to get up my speed for.

Thanks for the critique you guys.

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 25   Posted: Apr 8 2009, 02:26 PM
Ok...both of these stories didn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

@Kon: Your gonna have to work on your faces, I do agree that the clerk and MA had the same face and a similar hair due. I think the art was alright besides that,...uh story wise I'm pretty lost with the ending. Why did MA start saying “like,” did he forget his name or something or …what? I must have missed something...oh and I also agree with Joshua about the rats not having stole the clothes in the first place. nice comic though your inks looked much better.

@Bornloser: Not a bad first comic, but the backgrounds seem to disappear after page 2. The backgrounds you did have looked good though. The lines were pretty clean and I was able to tell what was what most of the time...but I got confused I thought the girl on page 5 was inside the car. I had to go back and reread it to see that it was actually Ronin and MA driving in it. Then on page 9 I see that MA is uber mad because Mr.Wallet got crap on his car, but what's going on on panel 6 of that page? MA was really freaking out on page 9, but then on page 10, the first panel, he's calm...then he freaks out again and beats up Mr.wallet? Why didn't he just go after Wallet the moment he noticed that he got dog crap on his car, instead of chilling near the car, calming down and then going after him?...seemed really odd. The last page is awesome though, the lighting looks really cool. You had some decent art here, but the story was confusing for me in some places. :0

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
462 comments
# 24   Posted: Apr 7 2009, 05:37 PM
Well kids, I'm good for 1 vote + comment.

KON:  Your lines are improving, I think the nibs are paying off for you.  I think i'd like to see more of your spot black fills for shading though, here you've used it for local color(like if something is dark it's a fill) but not really for lighting/atmosphere.  I think a balance between this line style and your spot blacks would look nice. Word balloons were looking better, nice job centering the text this time. Watch some of your compositions, they make things confusing, like in the beginning, the shit was going out of the panel, and I didn't realize what wallet was doing, that shit should be right in ther in the panel! Thanks for the oinko cameo, that's an interesting skirt you've designed for him.  seems you're continuing on from last fight,  but story-wise, eh.... didn't really go anywhere again for me, maybe cuz i'm not french. It's just odd, I guess he wanted free clothes, but then he has the rats just steal all the clothes..?  He should've just had them do that in the first place. Now that I read it again, I think the shop clerk looked too much like massive, and thats a big part of why I was confused. That and after massive knocks out wallet the clerk is gone?.  I think if you get your stories together you'll do some good shit, try to focus on goals and motivation for characters and stories, and work on cause and effect, like why should we care if massive attack wants free clothes, come up with a way to make us care. Characterization of wallet was a pretty good job, you made him interesting.

BornL:

This was a real good first comic for being like the 2nd one you've done.  The graphic style is really strong here, just keep drawing from life/studying anatomy/ etc... once you have more of that life knowledge, it will translate well to your visual vocabulary.  The ending was intriguing, but alot of it seemed non-sequiter, but maybe you are going for that with a drugged-out character? I'm with you until after the WTF moment, then things get pretty confusing, like the 4th panel on the WTF page, I have no Idea what wallet is doing, then the narrative seems to progress, then stops and massive/ronin are chilling by the car?? Again, maybe this is what u were going for, but it seemed out of place to me.  I'm sure you will get a better knack for pacing, etc as you continue making comics, it was a pretty solid job here.

SORRY FOR EXTRA LONG COMMENT :P

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 23   Posted: Apr 7 2009, 12:07 PM
I was just thinking the same thing. 10 votes aint too great.

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 22   Posted: Apr 7 2009, 09:58 AM
I'm a bit mad that Entervoid is in a Dead period, nobody comments or even read the comics :/

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 21   Posted: Apr 5 2009, 04:15 AM
Kon: Thanks honey. Sometimes making the heads alittle big was intentional. Weather it turned out good or not tho, now thats up for debate.
The hands changing in size all the time is a real problem tho. Sometimes i drew em too big, but usualy abit too small. I hope ill get better with that as i draw more comics.

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 20   Posted: Apr 5 2009, 12:46 AM
Lol at you Bo! When you say my comic is sweeter than yours, you got it all wrong, I feel like yours was better : p But I'll still say what I think about it:
You've got real troubles with anatomy, it might fit you're style well but I feel like it sometime is reaaally off. Like heads are sometimes too big, hands too little etc... But somehow it contributes to your style, it adds something to hit. You're characters are really expressive and funny to look at, I really enjoyed the way you drew M.A. in the car when it was all black and only them in white (with the foot and the break)!
I laughed because we both involved dog poops and it was all cause of disturbance ahah.
Anyway you've got a style building up, you're first comic was really enjoyable and I'm looking forward to you're next one babe!

Lot of Loves,
me!

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 19   Posted: Apr 4 2009, 12:31 PM
King Pong: Yeah I noticed I drew way to many panels. I used to do animated cartoons you see. Its hard to shake off the feeling that you have to do more than one pic for an action.

Ill try to work on that on my future comics.

King_Pong
Artist
601 comments
# 18   Posted: Apr 4 2009, 11:36 AM
Kon.  You should look at some faces before you try to draw more of them.  

BL.  If you only have a few pages worth of ideas then maybe only draw a few pages?  There's a lot of different things happening in your comic, but you present it in such a way that it seems like nothing happened in your comic.

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 17   Posted: Apr 4 2009, 09:06 AM
Kon: Damn, it was short but sweet. I feel I just got owned :P

Jhalton: No dissing of anything please. Dont be a fanboy.

jhalton
Artist
42 comments
# 16   Posted: Apr 3 2009, 03:03 PM
angieness: Okay, yeah on older versions of IE the more pages button will not work.
Quote

BornLoser: Yeah im using an old IE cause firefox is very slow on this computer. Ill try it the next time.
Quote



then stop using IE.....pleez people....

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 29 2009, 04:03 PM
Okay, yeah on older versions of IE the more pages button will not work.

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 29 2009, 03:54 PM
Yeah im using an old IE cause firefox is very slow on this computer. Ill try it the next time.

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 29 2009, 02:37 AM
I used latest Firefox and it went all right, so it wouldn't be it's fault :p

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 28 2009, 08:30 PM
It's uploaded, now just need Toast to put it up so it may be a few days. Did you try using the latest Firefox to upload? I think older versions of IE had problems.

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 28 2009, 01:52 PM
Ok i tried upploading mine but i couldnt get it to work so i sent em to angieness. I really hope that was the right person to send em to :P

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 28 2009, 09:11 AM
UPLOADED DED DED DED

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 18 2009, 09:59 PM
Damn, having a tough week in school. Maybe the toughest of the year... I think i can manage tho. Wouldnt want my first comic to look rushed :P

Craqued
Artist
202 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 6 2009, 01:31 AM
yess, BL, can't wait to see what ya do, KON, do yo thang

Dr.Salt
Artist
90 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 4 2009, 02:11 AM
GO WALLET!

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
462 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 04:42 PM
Kick some ass bros!

Aluísio C. Santos
Artist
735 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 2 2009, 09:59 AM
Wo hoo!
amazing

Sleezmeister
40 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 1 2009, 11:34 AM
Bornloser:good luck with yo debut
Kon:keep up te good work

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 1 2009, 08:46 AM
very yay~

good luck!

BornLoser
Artist
53 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 1 2009, 06:20 AM
FOCK YAAH!

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 1 2009, 05:51 AM
HELL YEAH.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Apr 9th, 2009
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 1348
Winner: BornLoser
 

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