Agreed, the best way to build things up if you don't want to devote a lot of pages to it is through putting it in the beginning or ending of a battle. I've done this numerous times to get the reader curious about what will happen next while having it happen during the main story. It's cool to try to give Chia-Hui's story a direction and I'm glad that you're thinking about that, but this would have been significantly more effective had it occurred during a battle or had you made it longer and given it more purpose. Remember that you have all the time in the world on BBs, don't feel that you have to get the stuff out there now and try to get them to be of higher quality than your previous battles.
Hopefully everything I just wrote was coherent and error free, I just woke up and my coffee hasn't kicked in quite yet.
Enemy / Chia-Hui
Critiques & Comments
# 9
Posted:
Feb 10 2009, 09:12 AM
# 8
Posted:
Feb 10 2009, 07:18 AM
oops typo: 'just because you want to connect your stories as some sort of larger narrative doesn't mean the smaller bits SHOULDN'T tell their own complete story'
# 7
Posted:
Feb 10 2009, 07:14 AM
this isn't a story. it's more a story fragment. just because you want to connect your stories as some sort of larger narrative doesn't mean the smaller bits should tell their own complete story. that's how monthly comics are supposed to function. but this doesn't have any arc or anything. it doesn't seem to warrant being its own battle & you've done this before. i still fail to see the purpose of it. these pages could have easily been applied to the beginning or end of either your last or next battle & it would have served the same purpose.
# 6
Posted:
Feb 7 2009, 12:14 PM
Thanks for reading.
# 5
Posted:
Feb 7 2009, 10:10 AM
Thanks for reading.
# 4
Posted:
Feb 7 2009, 08:37 AM
Wats with all these mini beyond battle Carl, man they dont seem to push the story anywhere and what details that are introduced seem to be forgotten by the next battle. Art wise it was cool but it seemed like the quality fluxuated too much
on the other hand that guy looks cool and i hope we see him again
on the other hand that guy looks cool and i hope we see him again
# 3
Posted:
Feb 6 2009, 11:34 AM
It is some pretty nice art.
Not that I'm one to talk these days, but I'd just suggest watching the angle of the ruler to the paper when you're drawing your panel borders..
I see what you're doing with those last three panels on page one. Just that the gutter between panels 2 and 3 of the page can be a bit hard to read because of all the lines on the walls..Could be as simple as just not drawing that one line you have going to the door frame in between those two panels.
Otherwise, pretty nice. And the hatching and tones work well here, I think.
Not that I'm one to talk these days, but I'd just suggest watching the angle of the ruler to the paper when you're drawing your panel borders..
I see what you're doing with those last three panels on page one. Just that the gutter between panels 2 and 3 of the page can be a bit hard to read because of all the lines on the walls..Could be as simple as just not drawing that one line you have going to the door frame in between those two panels.
Otherwise, pretty nice. And the hatching and tones work well here, I think.
# 2
Posted:
Feb 6 2009, 11:29 AM
Thanks for reading.
# 1
Posted:
Feb 6 2009, 09:56 AM
This is the prime of your art,Carlito
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Feb 12th, 2009
Votes Cast:
20
Page Views:
1381
Intro Story
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The End of Extinction
@ 11:35 AM Mar 26th
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