Sageby-I was a little disappointed to see that this wasn't the same quality as your design sheet as that's what I'd based selecting you around. I know that obviously time was an issue so I'm hoping that you plan to stick around on Void since I want to see what you can do when you really take your time on something. There were just a lot of panels that were way too dark and I had to reread this a few times to really get what had happened.
Hiemie-This artistically was actually a pretty big step up for you to me. While I wasn't a fan with how you'd painted the skies, you did a great job painting the characters, the first panel of the second page was especially nice. Story wise I found it cute and entertaining. It might be cool to see you do a whole battle like that last panel on the last page someday.
Sentai Tournament / Chousenshi Hafnion vs. Baron Idiot
Critiques & Comments
# 25
Posted:
Feb 6 2009, 08:49 AM
# 24
Posted:
Feb 5 2009, 09:35 AM
Sageby: I agree with the comments that have come before. This was a good first comic but it was lacking in a lot of key areas. There were some good bits in there (page 3 was my fave) and I liked the art, when it was clear but I think a little more time and a bit more story would have helped alot.
Heimie: I think this is one of my favorite comics I've ever read from you! The expressions and pacing were first rate! I see worlds of improvement from the last battle I saw of yours (of course that has been some years now, I've been away for a while). Anyhoo, I thought this showed alot of creative muscle and you got my vote for it.
JV
Heimie: I think this is one of my favorite comics I've ever read from you! The expressions and pacing were first rate! I see worlds of improvement from the last battle I saw of yours (of course that has been some years now, I've been away for a while). Anyhoo, I thought this showed alot of creative muscle and you got my vote for it.
JV
# 23
Posted:
Feb 5 2009, 09:28 AM
sage, it's very hard to see the Baron on that last page on a dark monitor... I think making him more visible would have helped a lot... to compensate for sucky monitors. ^^
I think the story is all right for what it is, honestly... I think it COULD work; it's kind of cool, although nothing really interesting happens... it's just that it's the kind of thing that REALLY needs some stunning artwork to sell it, and that isn't present here.
Heimie, I can't think of anything critiquey to say... I think the expressions were the best part of this... and just how you paced the jokes... like the cancer thing and the penultimate two panels where he is pushing up his glasses. :3
I think the story is all right for what it is, honestly... I think it COULD work; it's kind of cool, although nothing really interesting happens... it's just that it's the kind of thing that REALLY needs some stunning artwork to sell it, and that isn't present here.
Heimie, I can't think of anything critiquey to say... I think the expressions were the best part of this... and just how you paced the jokes... like the cancer thing and the penultimate two panels where he is pushing up his glasses. :3
# 22
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 07:12 PM
Sageby--So, what's going on in page 4? She's cutting through something metal, looks like, but I'm not sure why..to get out maybe? Not really clear. Could use some establishing shots.
Oh, hey..he's holding her in his claw...she's too fuzzy and sketchy there, I think since I missed that before.
I can tell what's happening in that first panel of page 6, but still, those grays are way too dark. Could be cool if you changed the black lines to white ones.
That last panel..again, I'm just not sure what the setting is, where they're suppose to be.
Story-wise, well, it could've used some setup since I'm not sure why they happen to be fighting... Right now, it's just a fight.
Other than that, I'm guessing the 1 week deadline contributed to the looseness of the artwork, but the looseness does work here...except, like I said, for those panels where he's holding Chousenshi up. Maybe a shot of one of his giant eyes or something with her hanging there between his fingers so you're drawing her closer up.
Hiemie--*LOL* She blow'd up like a Robeast at the end..heh. Great stuff, and a nice art style, too
Original set up, I liked how it was more than just another fight.
Oh, hey..he's holding her in his claw...she's too fuzzy and sketchy there, I think since I missed that before.
I can tell what's happening in that first panel of page 6, but still, those grays are way too dark. Could be cool if you changed the black lines to white ones.
That last panel..again, I'm just not sure what the setting is, where they're suppose to be.
Story-wise, well, it could've used some setup since I'm not sure why they happen to be fighting... Right now, it's just a fight.
Other than that, I'm guessing the 1 week deadline contributed to the looseness of the artwork, but the looseness does work here...except, like I said, for those panels where he's holding Chousenshi up. Maybe a shot of one of his giant eyes or something with her hanging there between his fingers so you're drawing her closer up.
Hiemie--*LOL* She blow'd up like a Robeast at the end..heh. Great stuff, and a nice art style, too
Original set up, I liked how it was more than just another fight.
# 21
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 04:11 PM
Sageby > Its the clarity issues in the artwork that got me. You have a good sense of building up over there at the beginning.. but the death of Baron was so sudden, unclear, and rather anticlimactic, it was pretty much a disappointment because almost no action or interaction between them occured D:. I know for a fact you can do better than this storywise and artwise mang!
Hiemie > That was good stuff.. Even quality wise it seems that the artwork of the pages looked alot clearer and cleaner than your previous stuff. Your pacing definitely fits hand and hand with the type of jokes you do, and it was a real treat reading through the comic.
Hiemie > That was good stuff.. Even quality wise it seems that the artwork of the pages looked alot clearer and cleaner than your previous stuff. Your pacing definitely fits hand and hand with the type of jokes you do, and it was a real treat reading through the comic.
# 20
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 09:18 AM
sageby: i agree with craqued: tighten up those lines and colors and your art will look a LOT better.
hiemie: there's something about your style that seems kind of grotesque to me, but not in a bad way... it's kind of like the feeling i get when i look at John Kricfalusi drawings.
i thought the tick tock tech alma mater sequence and the '"you're already dead." "wut?"' panel combo were hilarious. and the inverted speech bubble on page 3 was very creative. lots of great stuff in this entry.
hiemie: there's something about your style that seems kind of grotesque to me, but not in a bad way... it's kind of like the feeling i get when i look at John Kricfalusi drawings.
i thought the tick tock tech alma mater sequence and the '"you're already dead." "wut?"' panel combo were hilarious. and the inverted speech bubble on page 3 was very creative. lots of great stuff in this entry.
# 19
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 05:13 PM
hehe, hiemie that was really cute ad funny. i think the drawings were tighter than usual too! i think you could defintely either tighten up your colors though or make them like washes because right now they're in between and its funny-lookin. i like everyones expressions too!
sage, neat mech things but it was pretty rough stuff, you really need to tighten up your lines and colors. you did have some neat angles and action concepts but it was lost in a bit with the rough lines and sloppy colors. keep on it!
sage, neat mech things but it was pretty rough stuff, you really need to tighten up your lines and colors. you did have some neat angles and action concepts but it was lost in a bit with the rough lines and sloppy colors. keep on it!
# 18
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 02:13 PM
Ahh. I had to look really, really close to see it. I wonder if that's my monitor. Gamma. Yeah. I see it now.
# 17
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 02:09 PM
Sawbones, she used her weapon thing and cut up his head.
Hiemie, I laughed.
Hiemie, I laughed.
# 16
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 12:13 PM
Sageby: I had the most difficult time following. She battled some scubamen, then Baron Idiot. And then somehow she defeated Baron Idiot? I can't figure out how, but I see there's a panel with him down. The art was pretty mediocre and you took up a few pages with really sparse intro. The whole affair felt self-absorbed.
Hiemie: Usually I'm not big on this kind of messy cartooning where you can't tell whether the person is actually any good at drawing or not, but you're so clever that it hardly matters. It was easy to follow and funny. I liked it a lot.
Hiemie: Usually I'm not big on this kind of messy cartooning where you can't tell whether the person is actually any good at drawing or not, but you're so clever that it hardly matters. It was easy to follow and funny. I liked it a lot.
# 15
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 11:18 AM
Sageby- Someone is a mecha fan, I see. I think you could've went with a more original approach. I pretty much could feel anime mecha
cartoon screaming from this. No story, decent art, not much movement to it.
Heimie- What can I say to you, a week comic seems to come naturally from you. Has no lesser quality than it would anything else.
The cancer bit got me.
cartoon screaming from this. No story, decent art, not much movement to it.
Heimie- What can I say to you, a week comic seems to come naturally from you. Has no lesser quality than it would anything else.
The cancer bit got me.
# 14
Posted:
Feb 1 2009, 11:58 PM
You guys are both good to go
# 13
Posted:
Feb 1 2009, 11:58 PM
Same here.
# 12
Posted:
Feb 1 2009, 08:28 PM
Alright, I'm pretty sure it's uploaded. Hope you guys enjoy.
# 11
Posted:
Feb 1 2009, 09:19 AM
It seems people are having issues uploading battles at the moment. If you have problems, email your pages to me and Wei. You can find our contact info here http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=3218.0
# 10
Posted:
Jan 26 2009, 09:54 PM
I demand some liver amputation in this battle.
# 9
Posted:
Jan 26 2009, 08:33 AM
you better survice Hiemie is you wanna face me haha
# 8
Posted:
Jan 26 2009, 04:16 AM
Haha, only now I notice sageby's is a shortie
# 7
Posted:
Jan 26 2009, 03:35 AM
Thanks everyone! To the Ring of Honour!
# 6
Posted:
Jan 25 2009, 11:40 PM
Haha, THIS should be interesting.
Don't worry, Sageby... I'll kick your butt to make sure you get this shit done.
Have at it, Hiemie. XD
Don't worry, Sageby... I'll kick your butt to make sure you get this shit done.
Have at it, Hiemie. XD
# 5
Posted:
Jan 25 2009, 10:21 PM
Crap, color me nervous.
# 4
Posted:
Jan 25 2009, 10:04 PM
Oh em gee, don't be a Lamesby! I know you can do it!
Oh man, Matt, can not wait.
Good luck to you both!
Oh man, Matt, can not wait.
Good luck to you both!
# 3
Posted:
Jan 25 2009, 09:35 PM
Man, Sageby, Don'tchu procrastinate on this one...
Hiemie, good luck dude, let's see your tourney magic in action
Hiemie, good luck dude, let's see your tourney magic in action
# 2
Posted:
Jan 25 2009, 09:32 PM
Hiemie needs to fix his broken icon! Good luck guys
# 1
Posted:
Jan 25 2009, 09:29 PM
HAVE A GOOD FIRST FIGHT SAGEBY! IT'LL BE GREAT TO SEE A NEW COMIC HIEMIE.
Death Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Feb 8th, 2009
Votes Cast:
50
Page Views:
2370
Winner:
Hiemie
einsam
Colbitzer
@ 3:32 PM Apr 17th
Birthright
Saal, Louise Ambre-Aliona, and Llaana
@ 3:44 PM Apr 16th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 2:19 PM Apr 16th
The Great Switcheroo
Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Luniel Gekka
@ 3:26 AM Apr 15th
The Great Switcheroo
Colbitzer vs. Veruca Chance
@ 5:22 PM Apr 14th
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Artist
I liked this ok, didn't really get the numbers thing and the art was a little rough. I think panels added to show the act of slashing and slicing would help, because we see the character pose, then all of a sudden the enemies heads are gone, etc. sometimes there is a blue light, and I get it. But it's a lot less confusing/more rewarding for the viewer to see the strike itself.
The scale was pretty dynamic, I got a good sense of the Baron's height. I like alot of the shots and panels you deployed. Just needed a little more attention to craft, and maybe a little more to the story to get viewers interested in the characters. I think you'll get pretty good if you stick around.
Heime:
This is possibly my favorite comic of yours ever! I think the comedy you bring to the sentai theme is great, and I love the last bit where he slashes her and she explodes. Good expressions, good dialouge. I liked it a lot don't change a damn thing, looking forward to next round!