Sorry I didn't get to comment on this until now, life's been hectic as of late

DrasticFantastic-This is on par with your intros which is always a good thing, this time around I didn't have any issues with reading the text even though I'm not a fan of the font. I really enjoyed your expressions and your humor in this, the comic was a very fun read. I do think you could have broken up some of the text into separate word bubbles to cut down on the wordyness of some panels but I totally understand that that kind of thing can be hard not to do sometimes if that makes sense. The biggest thing that really stood out to me was the linewidths, try varying them some so you don't have this ginormous chunky outline around everything. For the action you probably would have benefited from moving the camera around some to make it a little more dynamic. But other than that this was a pretty solid first battle and I enjoyed it.

Jong Bom-I find that the better you get with your art, the harder it is for me to understand your comics. Like even though this obviously wasn't your best work, it seems like the prettier your art gets, the more crazy and confusing your stories get if that makes sense. You had some nice things going on but it was extremely hard to read and I wish you would have been able to finish this proper.

i don\'t know so much about jong\'s being illegable.i didn\'t really have a hard time reading it. i just couldn\'t stay interested in it. I think the lack of color and shading made my eyes bored with it; not to mention it was an interview about anthros in void, am i right? i dunno. it was just sort of boring to me. i think there could\'ve been more story-wise & maybe color-wise is all.

I appreciate everyone comments and though I know it was just my first battle I\'m glad I can look foward to alot of stuff to work on before the next battle. All critisim I have greatly enjoyed and I will try my best to at least make some improvment on each one overall. I\'m only slightly confused at one of Webrynth\'s comments where he said that:

\"Music Titles should be writtled throughout your work to chalenge the Readers mind.\"

I\'m just bringing it up because I don\'t understand that crit. I don\'t know what writtled through the work means. Not providing the music title and artist might take away from the impact of the power itself and it\'ll look like she\'s just making up a power and the reader will sit there for half an hour trying to look for a song that could fit it to satisfy themselves. Putting it in the dialouge could be awkward since I doublt she would bother saying out loud the full name of the song or artist for any reason. Simply no reason to do that. Clarification for this would be greatly appreciated.

Again thanks for the crits and I welcome those still to come. I\'ll be honest and say I got distracted by the election as the deadline came up (medicore excuse I suppose) and I promise to make a better excecuted comic next time. The thumbnails looked promosiing, but the pages were off. I even redid two of them before scanning.

Drastic, I really like this character. She has one of the most original powers I have heard of. I would watch thos thick black outlines around the character, they can be distracting. I would suggest taking a little more time with the backgrounds and probably do a few more than you did. I think you should also leave more space in your panels for words. They were a little crowded.

Jong, This seemed really rushed, so I don\'t really have anything to say about the art. The story was pretty nonexistant, there was no conflict, no rising action, climax then falling action, then resolution. It was just a brief explanation.

It\'s not actually very close.  *shrugs*

Wow, I am not sure why this comic is so close. *shrugs* everyone is entitled to their opinons.

Personally I REALLY enjoyed your entry Drastic. Especially for a first battle this is great stuff. I like Vivian\'s character alot. I didn\'t know anything about her (didn\'t read the bio or anything) so I was suprised by her powers and I thought it was such a creative idea! Your protrayal of Jong was pretty funny. I have to disagree about B&W being better (sorry 90% of other crit\'ers). I thought the coloring was pretty neat.

Jong: Eh, the text was so bad I really couldn\'t get into it. I\'m not even really sure what happened. If you can\'t handwrite the text to be legiable then you should just go with computerized texting. Also, just because you have a minium page limit doesn\'t mean you should stop working when you reach it. Give us more.

 Jong~
I like your use of backgrounds! Very; well Varied. I like how you brought in some Boss fictional Void City History there too. Great Booster to the entertainment aspect. Your Art is compelling comparitivly. Our Loss, you were unable to put out more. But what you did put out looks like more time than Drastic put in. Thats just how it seems to me... regardless of how many pages Drastic has up. Alot of Critiqueing Art goes at a guesstimate of how much time and effort went into the work. Probably shows mostly in the creativity section of ones vote yes?
Over all I liked your play on the Characters activity. Though you did not show much of either fighters Comic Book fighting attributes you shure showed your skill as a fighting artist.

 Dras-Fantas~
Overall its hard to rate work like yours against Jongs for this reason: your work looks like a collumn from the Funny Papers in tomorrows News. Not to detract from this kind of work mind you...it\'s just that though this is your first fight, I gotto go like a run-on sentance about a couple things here... The Comics in tomorrows News Paper are second rate to Comic book Style intensity. Even Judge Parker Or Spider man was Drab compared to what you migh find Coursing through the pages of a feature like Cerebus. That is in Creativity, not Entertainment. In your style you really need to Amp It Up on the Entertainment agle or your going to fall short of your goal.

 But to bring a fair grace I will give you some pointers of why you lost to Jong here(as far as my vote went anyways):
a. Your backgrounds were were sketchyer looking than your figures... makes things mushy...proffesionalise your backgrounds a bit more in definition will bring out your character art better.

b. You do a lot of bland anlge perspectivising of your dialog sequencing. It\'s very Train-Car looking.

c. Music Titles should be writtled throughout your work to chalenge the Readers mind.

d. Please don\'t be discouraged. I\'ve had two fighters denied. I\'m reworking the second one as I speak and would\'nt mind trying a battle with you sometime.

Jong...I actually enjoyed your artwork better than Drastics (I\'m partial to BnW...) but I struggled with reading the hand writing and I kind of just gave up on the story.  BnW art is very hard to control (that\'s why I dont understand why people value color so much...its way easier) and you have some nifty tricks that you use to highlight characters, and silohuette scenes I also like your use of textures.  Keep up the goodness.

DF...The story was well written and hilarious the art was super nice. I kind of wish you hadn\'t colored it thought, the last pages that were black and white were SOOOOOO good. I felt that the coloring detracted from alot of the fun stuff you were doing with just the BnW.  You are a fantastic inker, and an excellent pacer.  It seems like a lot of artist in Void think Color = Better...and I think a lot of really good BnW art is getting overlooked or getting colored in such a way that it doesn\'t increase the artworks appeal...meh I dont want to rant but I hope you give us some BnW pages in future battles

good luck to both of you...

Andrew you silly, break that fun into paragraphs XD I\'ll crit you guys when I get home tomorrow when I do my Friday crit a thon

Hmmm not bad at all. I enjoyed them both.

Drastic, your comic waspretty funny. It was pretty light hearted and it didn\'t feel too much out of place. the way you draw your people doesn\'t seem to be too bad either. The ending was cute and overall it was passable. I think you should think about the narrative of your comic while you build the layout of your pages. A lot of the time I didn\'t really think that what was in the panel did it\'s best to give the story full clarity. For example, in your first page, Blake said that he was hearing something spraypainting. He seems to be looking right at Vivian with no sort of gesture. He isn\'t looking towards the sound, nor is he pointing in the direction he is hearing it. It seems that a lot of space on the page was lost to all the characters faces. On page seven, I didn\'t know that Jong had thrown his knife until it hit Vivian in the next page. I think I didn\'t notice it because the panel was centered on the Jong\'s angry face and not the knife he threw. Make sure you can focus on what needs to be focused on. Actions can be discreet and subtle when on the edge of the panel. I think you should work on your expressions and gestures too. Almost the entire comic, every character seemed to have the same stiff expression, with little variation. Though the expressions themselves aren\'t bad, there should be some diverstiy. The gestures, besides the action poses, seemed a little stiff when they were shown. sometimes I think that certain gestures were out of context too. They aren\'t too bad though. Your backgrounds seemed to be lazily dealt with. While it\'s a problem very many people have trouble with, it really shows when you have put an effort into it. Backgrounds help set the stage and the mood of the story, and it\'s important to the narrative. On page 2, the setting became part of the narrative when jong was vandalizing Vivian\'s studio. Okay I\'m running out of time, so I have to move on. Uh, in conclusion, I\'m a nit-picker and your comic wasn\'t bad.

Jong, I also enjoyed this comic. The layout was a little interesting. I liked the page 3, panel 2 and page 4, panel one, where Jong was popping in with a small panel of his own. It was interesting. I liked your little explanation of dead districts in Void City. It kinda made me feel a little more into his world, without having to see much. It was fun to hear what he had to say in my opinion. The ending with the picture of void\'s dead districts combined with the expressions of jong and vivian made me chuckle. The backgrounds of Jong\'s narration were good and it was a good choice to do that too in my opinon. It really helped Jong explain what he was telling Vivian and it was interesting enough to keep me through all the pages. The shading was good and I think that it was a good idea to include them in your city panels. I think that there could be some improvements, though. First off, the layout in the studio seemed kind of strange at some points. There seems to be a lot of camera angle changes for a conversation between two people sitting at a table. What\'s the point of changing the view point all the time? It didn\'t seem to serve much purpose to the narrative. Pay attention to what you really need to show in the panels. The expressions were a little lifeless. Besides panel 2 on the first page, I think that the expression lacked interest. It seemed almost like they were both actually bored by the conversation. The backgrounds could use some work as well. The perspective was wonky on about every page and it seemed to lack detail in the studio. It didn\'t even look like a studio. Though I guess this is forgivable due to your midterms, a few simple details can make a big difference. The line work seemed a little sloppy. There is line width, which I appreciate, but it\'s a litty messy and the width variation seem to be arbitrary with little logic, like line width just for the sake of line width. There were parts were there was to width. and it didn\'t help either. Take your time with inking.

I think in conclusion that both comics were nice and good to read. I enjoyed them both, but I think you both should have maybe put some more time into planning and preproduction. If you plan to fight someone, and you know where the setting is going to be, put a little time into resarch before beginning the battle, and I think that rough drafts help make the finished work go by faster. Well done roughs, I mean. It\'s hard to go straight to finished work without anything drafts to work anf improve off of, and it can slow you down too.

no you won\'t :3

Hokay *knuckle crack*

Drastic, your comic was cool story wise. My problems are with how many close ups you have. Two thirds of every page is a bunch of panels of somebody\'s face. And the expressions are all very similar. They\'re either grinning widely or frowning.... widely. Vary it up a bit. Also, Jong seemed really pmsy. His personallity when from badass to emo in a matter of pages. Also, very text heavy.  

Jongobongo, work on loosening up the talky talk. Your battles are often jumbled with words and words, which is often just unintelligable attempts at sounding poetic. The void history is cool though, but the ending was a bit abrupt. I understand the midterms excuse, though, so you get off on that

sorry i didn\'t give you a REAL battle drastic, 2 weeks plus midterms are harsh limits. I\'ll make it up somehow.

loved the ending to yours, drastic.

Isawwhatyoudidthere. owo

DF: Great battle! I particularly liked the vivid colours, although the silhouette inks tended to be a tad overbearing here and there. Spellcheckplzblabhblahblah. Overall, a bitchin\' start for Vivi! The last panel was a lul\'d moment, not to mention Jong\'s fetal position angsting. Priceless. |D

Jong: Not to be a wet blanket about handwriting for speech bubbles, but because it got difficult to read due to scratched out words and cramming letters in smaller and smaller sizes took away from the quality of what I felt could\'ve been a clean and crisp battle. Of course I might be a bit prejudiced towards colour vs. B&W, but I felt you did an excellent job with contrast.
Also, I\'m jealous of your cityscape skills like WHOA. D:

YOUR CAMEO PLEASES ME, JONG.

DF, really enjoyable.. I was looking foreward to your stuff and I was so right to :B
One thing that jumped out at me was the huge outlines around everybody... it just looks a bit sloppily done.
and this is kinda nitpicky, but you had a few grammar errors.. like here-hear, your-you\'re, some others I\'m missing... just a little thing, but it can be a distraction.
Head wound.. D:>

jong-well that was an interesting bit of history... one thing is that your text was starting to get kinda smashed, and hard to read in some areas. Nice backgrounds. :O

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOD DAMMIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH!!!! THIS CAN\'T BE FREAKING HAPPENING! THIS CAN\'T BE FREAKING HAPPENING!!! *Jumps off a cliff*

OH NO BOY, YOUR ASS IS MINE AFTER THIS. D:< BITCH WHEN I GET BACK FROM WASHINGTON.

YOU OWE ME ASSFACE!

This is gonna rock hard.

You guys better rock so hard that make me drop manly tears of joy!

I have the hots for Vivian...

THING WILL HAPPEN. AND STUFF WILL EXIST. PREPARE YOURSELVES.

King of the Hill

This will be eeenteresting... Good luck to both of you, more being towards Jong, because he\'s in Bad Star.

FUCKING AWESOME.