Lorelei vs. Dr. Pye

Lorelei vs. Dr. Pye

Lorelei vs. Dr. Pye

50.8%
548 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference


by (Pi)

49.2%
531 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 19   Posted: Aug 12 2008, 01:00 PM
sorry pi, i was jumping around typing that pieces at a time & didn\'t finish the thought. i meant to say i\'m not really keen on that guy, so he stood out when he seemed to play a bigger role in your side than the mermaid character. playing up a secondary character in the back story rather than focusing on your opponent\'s character seems like scooting around the issue. especially given it\'s their first battle with said character. sorry for the confusion.

-J

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 18   Posted: Aug 12 2008, 11:22 AM
(oops, I wasn\'t logged in the first time...)

Sweet fight Pi! I rather enjoyed Lore & Char\'s silliness!

Thanks to everyone for their crits!  I need to focus on my schizophrenia, backgrounds, and ploty goodness right?

(Pi)
Artist
475 comments
# 17   Posted: Aug 9 2008, 10:41 PM
Less splashes, less photoshop, more trads, better quality markers, more movement, better anatomy, got it. Anything else?

Also, bishi-Charon wasn\'t my idea, it was LoneStar\'s. I figured I should include him as a bigger character because Lorelei isn\'t much of a talker, and the two of them could still play off each other. I guess it didn\'t work out as I\'d hoped.

Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 16   Posted: Aug 9 2008, 03:43 PM
Sailor- Nice for a first go around. I think I gave this to you because I liked the detailed line work in spots. but work on your anatomy & foreshortening some. and while the scott pilgrim-ism video game stuff & giant meme things are funny to some people, i don\'t know if it quite fits the tone of mermaid sneaking into crazy necromancer\'s lair so well. kinda takes you right out of it. and the fact that it just kind of ended was weird too.

Pi- Holy wasted pages, man. I realize it was a 3 page minimum, so you didn\'t HAVE to go beyond that, but for the seven pages you give us, three are splashes & one\'s simply a quote. it messes with the pacing & seems very unnecessary. Like the first two pages could have been just one page. Given the way serpents work, you could have the body up in the top left corner & him falling toward the head at the bottom right or something & still gotten a similar effect. also? just my tastes but bishonen Charon is too CLAMP for my liking. And like angie said before i could, use the photoshop a bit more sparingly.

-J

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 8 2008, 09:45 AM
this was a interesting battle guys, It was kind of hard to decide who to give my vote to.

anyways just gonna say this really quick: nice job to both of you! :3

Rone Rivendale
Artist
89 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 5 2008, 03:21 PM
Is it just me or does neither story make any sense? *scratches his head* Maybe I need a nap.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 3 2008, 09:29 PM
SailorLoneStar-You had some nice layouts and some pretty solid expressions all throughout. It also worked fairly well for a mostly silent battle. This was a step down from your intros, which can be understandable since you weren\'t working with a deadline for them, try to work on getting up to that level within a deadline. I do think you chose some odd times for closeups which occasionally made things confusing like the bottom of page 7. I did feel like some of the chibi scenes were a little unnecessary like you could have actually drawn the characters the normal way instead. But other than that it was pretty good for a first battle, I just wish it hadn\'t ended so abruptly.

Pi-Good to see you back! Try not to use photoshop so much with a traditional battle, it would have really been a lot cooler to have like the first two pages with mostly solid blacks and hatching. Or even just using the gray marker on those first two pages would have helped them feel more unified with the rest of the battle. Be careful with the toning, it really kills the quality to have these white spots all over the place and around the edges and makes it look rushed. Storywise I enjoyed it but you could have had a lot more, like SailorLoneStar\'s, this cut off pretty abruptly.

squid
Artist
421 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 3 2008, 07:55 PM
Even if their opponents\' characters weren\'t given all the attention, they still caught the essence of the other character and used them in a way that worked within the stories, and that\'s really the point, isn\'t it?

I liked both comics and found the battle hard to vote on. I thought Pi and SLS were pretty evenly matched. It ended coming down to preference for me.

Kon
Artist
194 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 3 2008, 01:13 PM
I\'m gonna try to do a crit but I\'m not sure it will be really pleasant to read :S

SailorLoneStar> I heard it\'s your first battle so I\'d say you did a nice work for a first one. You did a rather good number a page but I find your line weight way to big. But I guess it\'s some part of your drawing style, it looked a bit manga-like and I recognize a bit of Eiichiro Oda\'s style, but I might be wrong.
Overall it was pretty sweet, you can surely improve with your work but it was good for a first battle. The only really sad thing was the plot, I thought it was kinda weak and not THAT serious. It was between funny and serious but I couldn\'t tell which one you were trying to show the most.
Also as Rikun said, there was a lack of background on some pages and I also thing Pi\'s character didn\'t appear a lot.
Anyway nice first comic, I\'m sure you will have a nice stay on Void and that you will improve a lot, just try to show a bit more about your character!

Pi> As I said for Star, her character was like really secondary, it doesn\'t seem like you wanted it to be like that. She was just a bit of a useless character. But your backgrounds were well filled up and the panelling was okay, the proportions of your characters where funny but I guess it\'s your style. Also it looked pretty good, you should\'ve tried coloring it really.
I think the plot was the weak point here too, I didn\'t get everything and that was a bit lame, the comic wasn\'t really dynamic either. Try to work on those two points.

Well done to you two anyway :)

Rikun
Artist
79 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 3 2008, 12:45 AM
Well, I\'m going to try to critique this as well as I can.

SailorLoneStar - You\'re linework\'s the first thing that caught my eye, and it\'s fairly good for your first shot.  You seem to have a knack for some creative compositions in your pages and I applaud that.  I especially found the 6th page to be appealing.  Your first two pages were good but I noticed that as the pages went on the backgrounds started to disappear, and that could be due to time constraints.  I\'m still having a hard time understanding what kind of character Lorelei is because the tone of the comic switched from being serious to rather campy, so I\'d like to see how she develops as time goes by.  For your first entry it\'s a solid building block, and I hope to see more of what you can do!

Pi - You\'ve got a wide variety of shading that\'s going on here and your backgrounds are pretty good.  Storyline had a solid flow overall, but I really wanted to see how it would end up, unless you intended to leave on a cliffhanger.  Your anatomy could still use some serious work and I think your comic could use a more dynamic sense of movement.  Keep these things in mind and I\'m sure that your comics will improve.

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 3 2008, 12:19 AM
!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Pi)
Artist
475 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 2 2008, 11:10 PM
Uploaded.

luniara
Artist
528 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 23 2008, 11:18 AM
Yay! Pi is in the ring! I look forward to this battle. Good luck on your first submission, LOOOOOOoooonStaaaar!

Shojin
Artist
92 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 23 2008, 01:31 AM
Good Luck to the both of you.

Do your best SailorLonestar.  :D  I\'m proud of you.

ThreeFatesAngel
Artist
26 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 21 2008, 12:15 PM
Of course~ Finished works are fun to ogle at! >] I\'ll won\'t you down!

(Pi)
Artist
475 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 19 2008, 10:09 PM
Alright, glad to see you finished. Best of skill, and may this be the start of many more finished projects.

Corny
Artist
217 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 19 2008, 07:02 PM
MERMAID MAAAAAAGIC.
WILL PYE FINALLY BECOME A TRUE MAN?

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 19 2008, 06:24 PM
Yayxxorz! :D

Wishin\' ya both luck! make this good :3

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 19 2008, 04:22 PM
Good to see you back Pi! And look luck on your first battle SailorLoneStar!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 10th, 2008
Votes Cast: 31
Page Views: 1862
Winner: ThreeFatesAngel
 

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