Yeah, Jared. I did notice that was too similar to Donnie Darko, although I didn\'t even realize it was the same thing until after I submitted the battle. The only reason it was a red rabbit is because I was listening to the song \"Red Rabbits\" by The Shins which is how I came up with the battle idea. If I had seen the similarity before doing it, then I probably would have changed the rabbit to something else. I did rough it out with sketches, but not quite as much as I usually do, so that might explain why the inks aren\'t super strong. All the colors except the first 2 pages were done on the last day, which is why they aren\'t so good. I spent 13 hours doing all those pages, and near the end I didn\'t even really care, pretty much as long as they were colored since that was one of my requirements for this battle. Thanks for the crits and whatnot.
Jong- Yeah, the thing I\'m disappointed with most is not putting Jong in enough, and not making him look unique enough. I was going to spend some time just drawing him to get a look down for him, but I didn\'t. That probably would have helped some to distinguish him better.Thank ye.
Jong vs. Ronin
Critiques & Comments
# 20
Posted:
Jul 29 2008, 06:11 PM
# 19
Posted:
Jul 29 2008, 04:54 PM
@angie: i\'ll try making my text more legible next time, although i was really pushing readability on this match, i must have been careless on some parts of the dialogue or narrative. Don\'t stop reminding me, or else i\'ll go back to writing it sloppily.
@dimension: ah yeah, that was the worst panel of that page, besides the bad contrast jong\'s figure was unbalanced and looked like he was about to lean over. thanks for the heads up.
@airlight: thanks for the encouragement bro, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR BATTLE ROYALE MAXT UP.
@helf: YOU\'RE amazing
@aribooboo: aww, you\'re making me blush. Thanks for the encouragement, hope you start battling again soon.
@jared: i agree that this isn\'t my best story and all my endings tend to end ambiguously (which is something i need to work on) but theres only so many pages you can do in 2 weeks without losing the quality of the art. I\'ll work to please you on my next battle man.
@ronin: I was surprised at how much you worked on this entry, this was definitely a step up from your last battle. I loved how you portrayed Jong at the end of your entry. Thanks for the battle bro. Keep it up.
@dimension: ah yeah, that was the worst panel of that page, besides the bad contrast jong\'s figure was unbalanced and looked like he was about to lean over. thanks for the heads up.
@airlight: thanks for the encouragement bro, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR BATTLE ROYALE MAXT UP.
@helf: YOU\'RE amazing
@aribooboo: aww, you\'re making me blush. Thanks for the encouragement, hope you start battling again soon.
@jared: i agree that this isn\'t my best story and all my endings tend to end ambiguously (which is something i need to work on) but theres only so many pages you can do in 2 weeks without losing the quality of the art. I\'ll work to please you on my next battle man.
@ronin: I was surprised at how much you worked on this entry, this was definitely a step up from your last battle. I loved how you portrayed Jong at the end of your entry. Thanks for the battle bro. Keep it up.
# 18
Posted:
Jul 29 2008, 09:28 AM
i think they\'re both ok but i was expecting a little better from Jong\'s side. the art was good but the story was a straightforward \'hey these characters meet\' without any sort of resolution or real end. the whole \'hey there\'s a BR\' bit sounds little cop out-y to me. i would have liked to see some sort of actual result to the meeting as opposed to an end that feels a bit ambiguous.
ronin, forgive me but this is the first battle i\'ve seen from you. the art\'s not too bad but your line work could use a bit more attention. are you going straight to inks? because i think your stuff would improve if given the chance to be roughed out first. also good effort on the washed colors & all but it was a little too sloppy in places. for me anyway. vary up your angles to help the page read better too. also the evil bunny influencing the character\'s a little too donnie darko for my liking.
ronin, forgive me but this is the first battle i\'ve seen from you. the art\'s not too bad but your line work could use a bit more attention. are you going straight to inks? because i think your stuff would improve if given the chance to be roughed out first. also good effort on the washed colors & all but it was a little too sloppy in places. for me anyway. vary up your angles to help the page read better too. also the evil bunny influencing the character\'s a little too donnie darko for my liking.
# 17
Posted:
Jul 28 2008, 06:37 AM
Uhhhh... No one else has said my text was unreadable. And at least the other people have given me crits and are not just saying flat out our comics blow. Jong did an incredible job, and I think given the time limit and my experience in comics that I did a pretty good job as well. This isn\'t America\'s Next Top Comic Artist, this is a website just to have fun and improve man. I understand you don\'t have to give me all 10\'s but you don\'t have to give me low ass scores. You can see that I did work hard on mine, and Jong did work hard on his, so cut us some damn slack.
Carlito- I understand what you mean, but I encourage people to change his outfit, I would have done so to Jong if he said so, but I didn\'t see that on his profile or his Design Sheet. I am terrible with dialogue, and thats somewhere Jong shines, so that will have to be something I work on. Thanks for the crit
Carlito- I understand what you mean, but I encourage people to change his outfit, I would have done so to Jong if he said so, but I didn\'t see that on his profile or his Design Sheet. I am terrible with dialogue, and thats somewhere Jong shines, so that will have to be something I work on. Thanks for the crit
# 16
Posted:
Jul 27 2008, 05:46 PM
*prepares for the hate mail*
I have never given worse scores to a winner of a void battle. Both of you had subpar art and both of you have unreadable text. I\'ll give you guys credit though, you both submitted which makes you way better than every other battle in the last week or so. Just remember in order for your readers to love your comics you have to make sure we can read your text and understand what is going on in your artwork. Others have made much better and detailed crits so just make sure you take them to heart.
I have never given worse scores to a winner of a void battle. Both of you had subpar art and both of you have unreadable text. I\'ll give you guys credit though, you both submitted which makes you way better than every other battle in the last week or so. Just remember in order for your readers to love your comics you have to make sure we can read your text and understand what is going on in your artwork. Others have made much better and detailed crits so just make sure you take them to heart.
# 15
Posted:
Jul 27 2008, 11:21 AM
I really liked both of these in terms of art. Story wise neither of them went anywhere for me...
although, Jong\'s was more fun to read just because the inner dialogue was so cool and almost hard-boiled, so
even though there wasn\'t much there, what was there was fun to read.
As far as your characters looking alike, they look alike on design already I think.
Jong differentiated them by adding a hat, Ronin, you probably could have done something along the same lines,
and even if the faces were still identical, probably no one would notice.
although, Jong\'s was more fun to read just because the inner dialogue was so cool and almost hard-boiled, so
even though there wasn\'t much there, what was there was fun to read.
As far as your characters looking alike, they look alike on design already I think.
Jong differentiated them by adding a hat, Ronin, you probably could have done something along the same lines,
and even if the faces were still identical, probably no one would notice.
# 14
Posted:
Jul 26 2008, 12:53 AM
Thanks for the comments all! I hope to take all of your criticism to my next battles and hopefully Battle Royale. I\'m glad this turned out better than my last one, and I plan to make the next one better than this one. The crits/comments are much appreciated
# 13
Posted:
Jul 25 2008, 12:24 PM
Jong: THE COLORS. Ho shit, i loved every panel! It looks really smooth and crisp. Your lines too; it looks like you inked it digitally, but the colors have that real traditional paintish feel. I LOVE it~ I liked the variation of camera angles too. It didn\'t seem like you were using the same angle over and over. Keep doing that The story was ok, i was entertained, but it just seemed kinda random how Jong and Ronin started fighting...but that\'s ok, I was still enjoyed it the whole way through. Jong\'s characteristics; i just love them! He\'s so bad ass and relaxed, even when he\'s only a kid. He\'s got everything under control. I can really say that i look forward to what he gets into next! Nice work~
Ronin: You did a good job with your colors too! Though i think what kinda took away from the paint was your inks. I think next time you should have more line varitation; all the lines had the same width here. Just practice with that and you\'ll be all good. You had some nice cross hatching though. Maybe you should work more with that and turn it into some crazy ass style, you know? Yes, with cross hatching In some of the panels the characters look really stiff. Loosen them up a bit~ But you did have some good angles. You turned the camera around a few times, so maybe you can do that a little more. The story was ok too. The rabbit idea was cool haha the only thing that bothered me was that it just sorta ended out of nowhere. I wanted it to continue! XD so that\'s all i can really see here. Can\'t wait to see what\'s next for Ronin!
......JONG, MARRY ME!
o_o...did i say that out loud?
Ronin: You did a good job with your colors too! Though i think what kinda took away from the paint was your inks. I think next time you should have more line varitation; all the lines had the same width here. Just practice with that and you\'ll be all good. You had some nice cross hatching though. Maybe you should work more with that and turn it into some crazy ass style, you know? Yes, with cross hatching In some of the panels the characters look really stiff. Loosen them up a bit~ But you did have some good angles. You turned the camera around a few times, so maybe you can do that a little more. The story was ok too. The rabbit idea was cool haha the only thing that bothered me was that it just sorta ended out of nowhere. I wanted it to continue! XD so that\'s all i can really see here. Can\'t wait to see what\'s next for Ronin!
......JONG, MARRY ME!
o_o...did i say that out loud?
# 12
Posted:
Jul 25 2008, 05:46 AM
both of you did amazing with the colors.
i prefer jongs due to the amount of darkness
in the coloring both of your pieces where very precise in
the inking.Ronin like the other said they look alike.and i kinda felt that
the rabbit fell out a little style wise but i liked the idea.
cant wait to see more from you both and hope to get time to battle someday too
i prefer jongs due to the amount of darkness
in the coloring both of your pieces where very precise in
the inking.Ronin like the other said they look alike.and i kinda felt that
the rabbit fell out a little style wise but i liked the idea.
cant wait to see more from you both and hope to get time to battle someday too
# 11
Posted:
Jul 24 2008, 12:00 PM
Jong > Ffffffffff I really love how you put out your stuff. The way you handle narrative and wording makes me really envious because the impact of the placement works so well with the art and panel placement.
I liked how the lighting scheme for the second page was with all the blues and blacks encompassing to render that night scene -- but it didn\'t stay consistent for the third page.. but you handle angling, action, and various perspective very well and general details it kind of makes up for that. It was a great thorough read. Awesome use of inks and watercolors maaang. I am continuously awestruck by your display of overall skill.
Goddamn if you get into BR (and me too) I have more reason to step up my own writing skills. Sometimes the words itself can save art just for the meaningfulness of a comic and you have the capability to do just that. I look forward to the next fight.
Ronin > Not shabby dude, It looked decent overall. Only gripe is you gotta put in more angles.. top-down.. down-up.. most shots of your guy or Jong\'s seemed to be from the side or the front for the most part and lacks that edge when they show off to engage in a fight. Plus a big huge shot of the environment with 2 small figures maybe would\'ve helped the reader get a grip on their placement in the environment.. which seemed to be full of torn up buildings and debris.
I think it would help to vary the paneling asides from straightforward quadrilaterals.. you\'ve done it in a few pages but it needs more diagonals and shape variation for the sake of representing dynamics in the movement. It would greatly improve how people would perceive the action and character interaction. Your inks seem kind of wobbly.. they have strength but they still need some refining and definition.. so try some more line variation.
The last thing I need to say is the similarities between both characters.. If it weren\'t for your usage of colors, I honestly wouldn\'t be able to distinguish either of them apart, as both are within a similar age range.. so it\'s a good thing to try and establish those differences in face shape and hair and such when planning out the comic..
Good stuff though.. keep it up.
I liked how the lighting scheme for the second page was with all the blues and blacks encompassing to render that night scene -- but it didn\'t stay consistent for the third page.. but you handle angling, action, and various perspective very well and general details it kind of makes up for that. It was a great thorough read. Awesome use of inks and watercolors maaang. I am continuously awestruck by your display of overall skill.
Goddamn if you get into BR (and me too) I have more reason to step up my own writing skills. Sometimes the words itself can save art just for the meaningfulness of a comic and you have the capability to do just that. I look forward to the next fight.
Ronin > Not shabby dude, It looked decent overall. Only gripe is you gotta put in more angles.. top-down.. down-up.. most shots of your guy or Jong\'s seemed to be from the side or the front for the most part and lacks that edge when they show off to engage in a fight. Plus a big huge shot of the environment with 2 small figures maybe would\'ve helped the reader get a grip on their placement in the environment.. which seemed to be full of torn up buildings and debris.
I think it would help to vary the paneling asides from straightforward quadrilaterals.. you\'ve done it in a few pages but it needs more diagonals and shape variation for the sake of representing dynamics in the movement. It would greatly improve how people would perceive the action and character interaction. Your inks seem kind of wobbly.. they have strength but they still need some refining and definition.. so try some more line variation.
The last thing I need to say is the similarities between both characters.. If it weren\'t for your usage of colors, I honestly wouldn\'t be able to distinguish either of them apart, as both are within a similar age range.. so it\'s a good thing to try and establish those differences in face shape and hair and such when planning out the comic..
Good stuff though.. keep it up.
# 10
Posted:
Jul 24 2008, 11:15 AM
I gave you both pretty good marks for art, I think everything to be said about that has been. I wasn\'t as enthusiastic about the stories. In both cases they just kind of run into each other, scrap a bit and stop without a resolution of a conflict that didn\'t seem to exist in the first place. A little motivation, maybe some history or something, a difference on opinion in how to go about fixing the home mortgage recession, anything would help give more weight to their actions.
# 9
Posted:
Jul 24 2008, 06:13 AM
FUCK Jong. STOP MAKING ME WANT TO BATTLE YOU. I HAVE NO TIME. ARRGHGADFAGHFLAH.
# 8
Posted:
Jul 23 2008, 09:15 PM
@JongBom: This was looking pretty sweet yo~ The action and lighting was all looking pretty good to me
Some characters seemed to blend in with your backgrounds at times though, mostly because of the solid blacks. Like on page 4 on the last panel, it\'s difficult to tell how Jong is placed because his shirt is blending in with the BG. maybe try to make the outline of him more...distinguishable. (hope that made sense X.x; )
@Ronin-Soul: Yeah, this is much better than your last battle. :3 neat colors and nice expressions.
but, Yeah I agree with Angie, the characters faces looked waaaaaay similar. Another thing your still having problems with is anatomy, the heads on your characters are still pretty big so I\'d suggest to work on that.
Umm and was that smoke on pages 13 and 14? O.o; if it was than I\'d recommend trying to draw it in a different way, it kind of looks like white, round tree branches. ^^;
Lastly...Woah o.k, the bunny thing was really, really, random XD next time... I think it be great if you could fill us in with a bit more info on that rabbit, heh.
Nice battle guys!
Some characters seemed to blend in with your backgrounds at times though, mostly because of the solid blacks. Like on page 4 on the last panel, it\'s difficult to tell how Jong is placed because his shirt is blending in with the BG. maybe try to make the outline of him more...distinguishable. (hope that made sense X.x; )
@Ronin-Soul: Yeah, this is much better than your last battle. :3 neat colors and nice expressions.
but, Yeah I agree with Angie, the characters faces looked waaaaaay similar. Another thing your still having problems with is anatomy, the heads on your characters are still pretty big so I\'d suggest to work on that.
Umm and was that smoke on pages 13 and 14? O.o; if it was than I\'d recommend trying to draw it in a different way, it kind of looks like white, round tree branches. ^^;
Lastly...Woah o.k, the bunny thing was really, really, random XD next time... I think it be great if you could fill us in with a bit more info on that rabbit, heh.
Nice battle guys!
# 7
Posted:
Jul 23 2008, 08:51 PM
Damn Jong, I LOVED THAT. Loved the new outfit you gave Ronin. EPIC SHITE. Hopefully we will meet in battle again if we get accepted to the battle royale. Sorry about the long time it took to upload as well, I had some problems uploading my images and whatnot.
Angieness- Thanks. I really, really agree they look almost exact, but I don\'t know many ways to make young people look different, with older people you can really play around with the facial structure more. I will definitely focus on that in the future that was one thing I was disappointed with in this battle. I also agree with what you said about the poses, and hopefully if I get in BR then I can really show some more dynamic battles and poses. I did want to give the comic a little confusion and make it somewhat hectic, but I guess some of what was going on could have been explained a bit more. I wanted to really not say what was going on but show it through story, and that is still something I\'m learning as I go. Thanks again for the help with uploading those pages
Angieness- Thanks. I really, really agree they look almost exact, but I don\'t know many ways to make young people look different, with older people you can really play around with the facial structure more. I will definitely focus on that in the future that was one thing I was disappointed with in this battle. I also agree with what you said about the poses, and hopefully if I get in BR then I can really show some more dynamic battles and poses. I did want to give the comic a little confusion and make it somewhat hectic, but I guess some of what was going on could have been explained a bit more. I wanted to really not say what was going on but show it through story, and that is still something I\'m learning as I go. Thanks again for the help with uploading those pages
# 6
Posted:
Jul 23 2008, 08:29 PM
Jongbom-Quality wise this was pretty consistent with your last few battles which is always a plus. You\'re still having problems with the readability of your text though. Try making it larger and neater since I had a difficult time reading some parts. Don\'t be afraid to do more with your camera, for the mostpart everything seemed to remain on one plane. While your watercolor is always lovely, you got a little too dark and messy in some areas, mostly page 4. I wish this had been a little longer or had a more clear conclusion but other than that it was a pretty good comic.
Ronin-You had some really nice facial expressions going on and this is a pretty big step up from your previous comic. I was however very confused about what was going on and who was who. You need to vary your faces more because these two characters looked nearly identical which made the story hard to read. Be careful with how stiff your poses and try to move the camera around more for more dynamic action scenes. It may have helped to give a little more introduction to the bunny thing since it seemed to come out of nowhere. Other than that this was a lot better than your earlier comic, keep working hard!
Ronin-You had some really nice facial expressions going on and this is a pretty big step up from your previous comic. I was however very confused about what was going on and who was who. You need to vary your faces more because these two characters looked nearly identical which made the story hard to read. Be careful with how stiff your poses and try to move the camera around more for more dynamic action scenes. It may have helped to give a little more introduction to the bunny thing since it seemed to come out of nowhere. Other than that this was a lot better than your earlier comic, keep working hard!
# 5
Posted:
Jul 23 2008, 08:12 PM
HOSHIT, EPIC BATTLE RONIN
# 4
Posted:
Jul 18 2008, 01:07 AM
ohsitohshitohshitohshit
# 3
Posted:
Jul 13 2008, 02:44 PM
jongobongoooooo
# 2
Posted:
Jul 12 2008, 07:59 PM
Blow me up, you guys!
# 1
Posted:
Jul 7 2008, 08:17 AM
GO GO GO!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Jul 30th, 2008
Votes Cast:
27
Page Views:
2465
Winner:
Chimaeric
Monsters of Nature
Dairyu vs. Rickter & Gus
@ 8:14 PM Mar 28th
Intro Story
King
@ 3:09 PM Mar 28th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 8:41 AM Mar 28th
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
462 Guests, 0 Users
Most Online Today: 504.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)
Artist