It could have been longer, as most BB\'s are longer than normal battles given the no time limit thing.

However, I like your BB. It tells a short but effective story. It shows a flash of something that you can elaborate on later. Plus it connects from you winning a sheep from Sheperd. For what it is, a link between your last and your next battle, it works.

Artistically it wasn\'t up to your usual standard so I gave it a C+ but creativity and entertainment wise it was pretty decent. I gave you higher marks there.

Thanks for reading.

I thought this was nice as an introspective piece. I don\'t agree with the notion that it needs more \"meat\" or story or background information. It\'s quiet, and I think you intended it to be that way.
I do agree that it needs SOMETHING. I feel like your comics are lacking in voice. It\'s difficult to explain or suggest ways to \'fix\' it. I think good comics, like any art, should be like an extension of yourself.. if that makes sense. Art speaks.
Well, that\'s just my two cents. XD

Carlito,

this was ok, I think you should draw some cityscapes from life or pictures. While your at it draw some building interiors. Like, draw the room youre sitting in right now!  You\'ve got some ok enviornments going on, but they are just so plain.  Little details could add so much, and drawing these things in real life( it doesn\'t have to be super realistic or awesome, just detailed) will expand your minds eye when drawing in backgrounds from scratch. Also, i\'m not feeling the black gutters, think it would llook better if you ruled out your panels, and you wouldn\'t havelitle fuzzy pixels and things from photoshopping your panels or whatever your doing.  keep it workin man.

haha beef. you make this sound like a hip hop feud or some shit. i still say mutual dislike is perfect grounds for an excellent battle. but fine. keep duckin\' me. s\'all cool. in all seriousness, & fairness though, i only sent you a few challenges. i thought the first couple were because of us being in different battles at the time. i stopped after you said you wouldn\'t.

i can\'t lie & say i totally disavow any prior issues when i look at something to critique, but it doesn\'t figure into the actual critique bit. if i truly did see something i liked, i\'d say it. it\'s not some vendetta where i must shit on everything you do. in the past i tried to offer suggestions to you but they always seemed to go unheeded. but when i\'m left asking questions like above, these are things you should think about & take into consideration into the future. up your game some more & i\'ll be happy to talk about what you\'re doing right, albeit probably a little begrudgingly haha

-J

Thanks for reading.

reading through, if anyone was critiquing critiques, it would have been phil. all i did was take into account what angie said, not as a critique. god knows, she of all people needs no one telling her how to critique things on this site! maybe she has to do it because some people have tendency to take critiques so personally & get huffy about them. but still, that\'s something more on those being critiqued, rather than those giving critiques.
the only critiques i made were in regard to your comic. and they\'re critiques other people bring up as well. there\'s no \'swaying of opinions\' going on.

-J

Thanks for reading.

phil, i\'d dole out praise if there was something to dole out praise over. not patronize. he didn\'t \'kill a man in cold blood\' but he wasted my time with half a story that went nowhere.
if you take issue with that, message me rather than comment here. you\'re gonna get his hopes up thinking everyone\'s commenting.

-J

Kuro... in all honesty the paw fetish hot head here thinks that you should just chillax man. Kid does need the critique and I\'m agreeing with ya 100%, but give the guy some praise will ya? You act like he just killed a man in cold blood here.

The others do however bring up a good point here carlito. There\'s no meat to this story. You have the foundation laid out nice and even for us with Chia remembering a figure from his past, that\'s good build up towards a story regardless of how cliche it might be. But it just ends too quickly here, think of a comic like a movie dude, you don\'t show a scene with somebody in the past without showing a little backstory or narrative to help move the story along and give us some insight on Chia.

The art wasn\'t half bad in all honesty, the sheep was indeed out of place and I\'d like to see your own take on a sheep, but it\'s nice to see you contributing comics still and without a deadline to top it off. Props for that man. You could benefit from some anatomy studies and brush up on some foreshortening as well. Drawing somebody sitting down isn\'t exactly easy, but that can be easily figured out by sitting in front of a mirror and getting a good idea of the pose in your mind.

Overall... the story just needs more dude, and you definitely need to brush up more often on your anatomy studies. Good Job and keep drawin\'.

I agree with everything else, but I gotta say I liked it how you kinda eased the sheep into your story rather than just making it seem abrupt in your next battle. At least here, you can fix up on the mistakes people have pointed out and make your next battle awesome. I didn\'t think it was a bad comic, it just was what it was. Keep it up.

Not bad, buuuuuut....
I agree with Kuro here. The story was just really short...and didn\'t really give us enough info.
Personally I think these three pages would have gone well in the beginning of your next battle or something.

Just remember to keep practicing and trying new techniques!

While it shows what happens to him sentimentally and stuff, I think you could develop more. Maybe telling us a story that happens in his past that makes him cherrysh those memories, I guess.
Artwise, many things can be said!
You\'re either drawing in a tiny paper, then resizing it in the pc for bigger size, which is a big no-no, only makes your stuff get blurry. The second thing is that the sheep looks currently completely out of your style, which attempts for a slightly realistic stuff, the sheep is incredibly cartoony! And it screams that in the last page.
So my tips are: Draw in a bigger paper, maybe with tinier pens, and try working more on the plot, make it more interesting.

it seemed short and not so important but it was a good short read.
i was entertained it did what it wanted to do nothing more

i think angie was being kind. it wasn\'t much of a story but rather a story fragment. ok, so he\'s crying over some guy. who is he? why should we care? it\'s kind of implied that we should know these things but there\'s nothing to show it in the rest. and even if there was more meat to the story, you\'re not adding anything interesting to it. it\'s pretty trite & cliche.
also the way you draw the sheep in saintpio\'s style looks pretty awkward versus the style of everything else you do things in. if you wanted the sheep that badly, you should really start brushing up on ungulate anatomy rather than biting another person\'s style.

and if you\'re gonna do bb\'s, do them well. the fact that you have all the time in the world & whatever sort of page count you want typically mean a) they should stand out & be your absolute best, & b) people on the site tend to look at them more critically because of that. churning out three pages with kind of a story doesn\'t cut it.

-J

You had some nice pacing in here and I like that you were able to tell a story without words. But I felt like you could have done more since it\'s a Beyond Battle and you have no time limit. It would have helped to spend more time on the backgrounds and really push them detail/shadow wise. I think this could have also been a little longer, it would have helped to see the relationship Chia-Hui had with this guy. While it\'s clear he was obviously someone important to him, it would have helped to show the audience why, unless you have that planned for later on. Other than that you did a pretty good job and I hope you have more in store for us so we can find out more about who Chia is.