Eden & Seak vs. Jack

Eden & Seak vs. Jack

Eden & Seak vs. Jack

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511 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference


by odd13

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Critiques & Comments
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PsychoCaptain
Artist
36 comments
# 22   Posted: Jun 10 2008, 03:18 PM
Aw´_`

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 21   Posted: Jun 8 2008, 09:29 AM
I\'m glad you plan to upload a beyond battle sometime :3 I look forward to it. :) And as I said before, I wish you have better luck in your next battle.

thanks Odd13! :D

odd13
Artist
109 comments
# 20   Posted: Jun 7 2008, 08:13 PM
hey,
Sorry that I haven\'t  submitted my work to Void...a few things have occurred and that I couldn\'t finish my work in time...

I do promise to submit a Beyond Battle comic soon.

Dimension, I do like the overall comic that you have worked on. It was entertaining as well a good flow of dialog with the story. (Jack looks darling in your style)

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 19   Posted: Jun 5 2008, 01:27 PM
ummmm...yeah I forgot to mention I spelled \"stay\" worng on page 3....lol, typed in \"saty\" instead of \"stay\"...what\'s sad is that I proof read it 3 times...FAIL D:


@Kuro: Thanks again man, I appreciate your comment!

@Caravaggio: well actually, if you look really closely..you\'ll notice that he\'s frowning XD but I did originally have him smiling so maybe that\'s why he looks like he is smiling.
thanks man! :D


Caravaggio
Artist
71 comments
# 18   Posted: Jun 3 2008, 02:51 PM
Aw, you\'re the first to post a Deman interpretation. :)
But of course he\'s smiling like a Muppet baby... :?

Yah, I didn\'t have any problems with the layout itself, it\'s more interesting then what I do, so I\'d just recommend some time on backgrounds.  Not necessarily detail, but perspective and straightness as mentioned.  Love the coloring.

Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 17   Posted: Jun 3 2008, 11:54 AM
yeah dimension. your work\'s really coming along nicely. the things i was going to point out were already mentioned in shortfury\'s. try varying up your angles more & use that to help your flow. like before you rough out your panel, think of the different angles you can show that action/scene from. and see if you can\'t have the focus of that panel lead to the next panel. then the next. etc etc. but it looked good! keep at it

-J

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 16   Posted: Jun 3 2008, 08:35 AM
Awww well I\'m sorry you had to default odd13 D\': I hope you do better in your next battle. <3


@angieness: yeah, I think the black did cover up a lot of space where I could have expanded my backgrounds a bit more. I\'ll try not to do that so much and it\'s nice to hear that I\'m improving, thank you! :)

@The Wolfboy Jack: well, glad to here the story was better than I thought. XD I\'ll be more careful with the panel layout, thanks!

@saintpio: Yup, I\'m trying to put more of a story into everything, but I still am working some things out. thanks dude :D

@shortfury: Thank you for your suggestions, I\'ll get to working on them. :3

@Helftan: I\'ll see what I can do about those buildings, thanks Helftan!
and lol, your right. Eden\' eyes are looking the wrong way, I\'ll watch out for that XD


oh, and the cameos... they\'re just fun to add  x3

Helftan
Artist
68 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 2 2008, 11:53 AM
i liked the shading. some stuff in it was very straight like buildings it kinda broke
the round forms of the humans and monsters perhaps trying not to use a ruler
or a line tool for some stuff would help. Eden\'s eyes are strange a couple of times where her eyes
are kinda looking the wrong way.

Marley
Artist
259 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 2 2008, 12:00 AM
Good work dimension! Looks like you put a lot of time in =P I have to complement you on those detailed colors and attention to texture. That and it looks like you\'re really open to experimenting which is cool!

I also have a couple suggestions. I notice in your panels that every piece of perspective is from a high angle looking down. Try to mix it up and get some worms eye and some straight on views of the scene and characters. It will jazz up your pages a bit, and actually pull the reader in a little more.

Also when you experimenting with panel structure, make sure you put the flow of the page into consideration. You want each panel to kind of lead to the next panel. Unfortunately experimenting with an oddly shaped panel will disrupt that flow, and lead to panel and text confusion, so keep your reader in mind when you\'re trying something new. Doing some good thumbnails before executing your page really helps you get a better perspective of what you\'re doing =P

Keep up the good work dimension and keep these battles coming!

saintpio
Artist
71 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 1 2008, 08:13 PM
It was a good read, but I think if you put in more of a story everything would become a lot more interesting. Good job.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 1 2008, 06:00 PM
Yeah, I forgot to mention I appreciated the Angie cameo <3

Jack
Artist
225 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 1 2008, 05:59 PM
Dimension, the story worked out GREAT in this one. Simple and short, but you pulled it off better than you have in the past. The colours were nice and your expressions are lovely. Your backgrounds and characters\' relations to them still need a lot of work but you\'re definitely coming along nicely. I agree that you might be overexperimenting with the layouts but it\'s totally okay. I\'d rather see you experiment too much than see you experiment too little.

(I also noticed the little cameo <3)

Good work you!

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 1 2008, 05:52 PM
Dimension-I see some improvement from you which is always good to see! I\'m glad to see you\'re working on your backgrounds more.You\'re still having some problems with perspective, while I noticed improvement, things like the fence on the bottom of page 2 stood out. And the text was very easy to read this time so you\'re good on that. While I\'m glad to see you\'re trying to be more experimental with your panel layouts, I think you took them a little too far sometimes. Like all the black taking up most of where the background should be kind of stood out to me. If you\'re going to do more experimental stuff that\'s fine, but be careful with how much they hide the background. I think in the restaurant scene it would have helped to have a further out shot to establish where they were at. Other than that I\'m glad to see some improvements in your anatomy and backgrounds, keep pushing those backgrounds and experimenting with new things.

Odd13-What happened dude? I don\'t know what the story is here but if something came up try to submit it as a Beyond Battle when you can.

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 9   Posted: May 31 2008, 09:14 AM
Pages uploaded...

I used LetterOmatic for a font, hopefully it\'s readable.

ummm...sorry the story is pretty short, but I didn\'t think I would have enough time to do something bigger. (I barely got this done on time)....

....D:>

PsychoCaptain
Artist
36 comments
# 8   Posted: May 24 2008, 03:52 PM
Looking forward to seing Jack in battle. Make it a good one you guys!

luniara
Artist
528 comments
# 7   Posted: May 22 2008, 05:41 AM
Good luck on your first battle, Odd- I\'d like to see what you got. Lets see some BATTLEZ! <3

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 6   Posted: May 21 2008, 10:38 AM
I\'m looking forward to this, good luck on your first battle as well Odd!

Kid Crash 88
4 comments
# 5   Posted: May 18 2008, 09:51 AM
o im gonna love this.

Diascope
Artist
33 comments
# 4   Posted: May 17 2008, 09:44 PM
Aw sweet, I didn\'t know you\'d be fighting Jack Dimension! GL to the both of ya! :]

sixtem
Artist
395 comments
# 3   Posted: May 17 2008, 08:31 PM
Good luck, newbies!

Airlight
Artist
136 comments
# 2   Posted: May 17 2008, 08:22 PM
Good luck both of ya :D

Dimension
Artist
489 comments
# 1   Posted: May 17 2008, 08:18 PM
>:3


Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 7th, 2008
Votes Cast: 23
Page Views: 1794
Winner: Dimension
 

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