Whats on May 11th?

Congrats Mokuu, it was a close one but you deserved it. Thanks everyone who read my comic and stuff and thanks angieness for helping me get here.

Mokuu:

I think you should focus on pencils a while.  I liked your drawings from last fight better, Your inks are good, the problems I see is where the drawings aren\'t fully resolved. Some panels are really great, and others look awkward. If your experimenting more power to you, but if you nail some clean pencils first, your quality could really shine when you experiment with different finishes.
Also, remember comics work different than moving pictures.  We only get so many frames to understand the action, so you can\'t do jump cuts like with movies because it gets confusing. For example, on page 10 first panel, I would have liked to see the shepherds flight arc continue, instead of a close-up impact shot. That\'s just one possible option, simply put some more thought into planning your action shots for comics, we can\'t see the fight playing out in our head like you can while working on it.

Saintpio:

Good first fight, I enjoyed it. Your drawings have an odd charming quality.
Don\'t use too many fonts, makes it look cheesy. Also, same as Mokuu, be thoughtful about how you communicate the action sequences, make us see what you see.

Nice one dudes.

saintpio, your side showed some improvement. nice work! i don\'t know if it\'s a matter of how large you\'re drawing each page or the line width of some of the edges, but some of the outlines seemed way too thick. like as if you were inking with a sharpy. it\'s cool if you\'re doing that stylistically but it tends to lose a lot of the details. if that makes sense. maybe a finer pen or drawing on a larger scale? that might help

mokuu, you might have toned down a bit on the exaggeration which was good, but the lack of backgrounds did kinda kill it a bit. i mean if you\'re gonna have a character flipping & flying around another, it\'s good to show a few backgrounds every now & then to give a reference as to where each character stands. the contrast on the stylizing made it feel like i was looking at a comic done by two different artists, another thing that was kinda off-putting. also that font really sucks. like angie posted, go to blambot or something.

-J

Hey guys, thanks for all the comments so far. Most of them are really helpful. About the text... I was a little bit unsure of it myelf but now I know it\'s crap. Since I\'m not really not computer smart at all, I think I\'m gonna try do it by hand next time. I\'ll just have to wait and see if it works or not.
And redrevolver, you were spot on about everything...even the heart bit. I\'ll try out some different ink stuff.

Oh, well... pretty much what I was going to say has already been said...so
I\'m just going to say Nice battle guys! :3

Aside from the fact that it looked like Abroa was fighting emperor Palpatine, this was by far your best battle yet. Good energy and some nice attention to detail. Im only going to comment to the art, though I too thought the sheep bashing was out of Ab\'s character. Of the two, I like your battle better and gave you the edge in my vote.

Nice entry saint, I agree with alot of the already mentioned crits. I too had a little bit of trouble with some of the panels and page layouts.

wow... umm I don\'t even wanna know what that was all about. But yeah It sounds like you guys need to deathmatch.

Now Back to the fight. Mokuu I don\'t know if its intentional that some of your characters can look like they have real human features while at the same time Abrao has a very cartoon look. It kinda clashes to me. But I was liking that your pages moved fast and were hard hitting. although it can take away from creativity when 2 characters just seem to fight for very little reason , it\'s enjoyable.

Saintpio, I saw that you commented earlier about Mokuu not exactly getting your charcater right and in his defense I gotta say that your bio doesn\'t do a great job of really stating if he is a good guy or a bad guy. Bad guys can be nice and have leadership value too, and he did get his powers from hell, so just keep in mind that characters arnt always fleshed out to the audience right away.  After reading your 1st battle I think I\'m taking him a direction you might be happy with so far but to me even it feels like a crapshoot.

your panels at the top of page 1 were a little tricky to read which way they were going at first,   but that didnt seem to be a reoccuring problem. Your battle seems to take different directions of either comedy, or serious tones at times and thats pretty much my biggest discrepency. I\'d suggest choosing one or the other and then goin for the extreme of it. Congrats on your first fight.

Mad props for solid completed entries guys.

Guys.... would you stop? You are seriously taking any fun that was in this match out of it, and out of any future matches that arise. Phill... STOP. You don\'t always have to have the last word, and anyone else... you don\'t need to keep instigating him OR the situation. This is getting out of hand.

A rematch? Why not,  but don\'t get too carried away there boy, 2 deathmatches at the same time is something only Lysol Jones can pull off, you\'re far from that level. Id prefer to keep you as a personal punching bag, besides, thats way more honorable than having you choke with the stress of your \"precious personal\" character possibly getting killed by two opponents. Hey, maybe this time ull actually make it a \"pawless\" match.

\"Phil, don\'t bother talking to me on aim, msn, yahoo, DA, whatever, don\'t even bother leaving comments on my battles cause frankly your opinion now counts as bullshit to me.\"

If this is true, why are you responding to my opinions? Walk away from this, unless you want would like to join me in a rematch, maybe make it a deathmatch as well, I can take on 2 people at once.

Phil, let me rephrase  what i told you last month:

I dont want to see you comments on my battles.

I WAS about to answer that peace message you sent me until i saw the shitfull of lolz you did right here:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1209015/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1209065/

Looks like someone\'s being a hypocrite, more reasons to laugh at you. Now Philly, you being somewhat annoying here, pulling off piss criticism out of your ass and trying to make it LOOK valid, seriously, you barely know what you\'re talking about most of the times. Why do you take a few life drawing courses, get off the foot fetish maybe learn some actual perspective and then come back with some fresh new ideas to make your critics worth the read as well as making your art better. Oh and one last though, i didnt acknowledge your storyline because i have no respect for you, not that anyone else does. I did so for Dan, since he\'s a cool person and he didnt take shots at my artwork, he DID give me quite serious feedback instead of that dog turd... ooops i mean cat litter you just wrote.

Now be a good ranting furry and scram boy. You\'re just shotting yourself in the paw with each post you\'ll be adding.

Saintpio, you got nothing to worry about with your fight. I\'ll tell you what to work on in the future though.



Saint: OK, first off this was a very entertaining fight from ya. Probably one of the better comics to have come out as of recently. Just beware of word placement and paneling. At least once did I mix up Abrao\'s dialogue with the Shepherd\'s. Try to work in some word balloons in your next fight, even if you have to hand draw them. Now, you\'ve got a really nice looking comic, but I highly suggest you start up a sketchbook and start doing some life studies if you can. Just draw anything and maybe everything you can dude it really helps in the long run, trust me.

Other than that, I\'m giving you high marks for entertainment and creativity, so you pretty much got my vote. looking forward to what you have against Voodoo now.


Mokuu: Oh Mokuu... what was one of the things you \"Weren\'t angry\" about? Something about shouting out his attacks...? Hmmm...

Abrao: VOLCANIC... 360... PULVERISER... oh, I mean... SHOTGUN!!


... Narrated, shouted out, displayed or whatever, this is stupid (Hence why I took that first jab at you in our match). Does the reader really need to know his attacks? No... I would rather know about the personality of your character instead, and right now, he\'s pretty one dimensional. Especially when the stories are: UH OH! Abrao just encountered somebody EVIL!!! TIME TO FIGHT!!!   or: UH OH!!! Abrao just encountered a good guy on void! TIME TO TEAM UP AND TAKE DOWN THE BIGGER THREAT!!! Are all of your fights going to be like this? Do you also know how many times I or other people have done this? Oh, and BTW: It\'s common courtesy to acknowledge a loss, regardless if you hate that person or not.

Art... now you\'re saying this is just an experiment right? OK, I do admire the fact that the inking is a lot better than the inking on your very first fight, but it still looks sloppy, and your backgrounds are once again HALF ASSED. Seems that the only effort you put into backgrounds is when it isn\'t just blocks of concrete in the background, why is that? Seems most of the effort you put into these fights is how you draw your character. Even then your consistency is lacking, your character\'s eyes when his head is angled downwards seems to always have one eye right up in his forehead, stop shooting from the hip when you draw faces, draw the circle with the line through it, otherwise your character is going to go from looking perfect when standing straight up, to warped mutant when you change the angle.

Now, sorry to bring up my fight again, but I made fun of your perspective cause of this one important thing: YOU DON\'T KNOW WHAT YOU\'RE DOING WITH IT! You\'re putting too much emphasis on drawing your character in that extreme angle that you completely forget about how that perspective affects other things aside from Abrao. THINK: Does something in the foreground automatically make something in the background suddenly shrink down to 2 or 3 feet in height at an extreme angle? Effort or not, you\'ve developed a horrible habit of just focusing on the perspective of your fighter and nothing else, don\'t tell me otherwise cause your pages do all the talking for me! Perspective applies to EVERYTHING! From the ants in the sidewalk, the guy in the background, foreground, those buildings, the clouds in the sky. This is simple 2 point perspective only it\'s warped, the characters shouldn\'t be looking like ants compared to Abrao!

Oh... last thing about your character: If he\'s from the jungle and such... how does he know about Devil May Cry? You\'d figure a jungle resident who absolutely hates humans wouldn\'t even touch their planet polluting products, right?



Saintpio, you\'ve done a wonderful job here and you defenetly put forth the effort on your end. Mokuu, focus on other things in a comic aside from your character, and put forth something more original. Vote goes to The Shepherd

You can\'t use the 40 hour job excuse on me XD I have a job and college as well and still manage backgrounds!

Kozi, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH thats so true oh man i cant stop laughing at this one. *breaths* Ok ok, now i gotta pull off a Goerge Lucas and come up with a good excuse for this travesty. *thinks for a bit and takes out his reading glasses with a fake script* Well since JarJar...eeer i mean Abrao was informed that the sheep was approached by the \"devil\" making it a Sith..err, hell spawn which places it outside  Obi wan...woops Mother Gaia\'s circle of Protection, basically letting Abrao do what he wants........................... Ok ok i just got a bit violent minded with this fight and wanted to push the boring tag team stories aside. XD

Angie, i so knew you were gonna notice that cheat rofl, now this cheat is even used in pro comics and i still cant believe they let it pass XD Yet for the backgrounds, a 40 hour job doesn\'t give you much time for these, specially doing in betweens all day long, i don\'t want to cheat but those shortcuts do seem tempting now, that or just speeding up the character inking to leave time for BGs, who knows, all about speed and deadlines under dread pressure. Lets see what goes in experiment number 4.

Both stories on both sides really piqued my interest and raised a couple of questions. More so Mokku\'s.

Based off Abrao\'s intro pages and his personal morals and convictions that\'ve been portrayed thus far in his battles, I am really surprised he hurt the Shepard\'s sheep. From the way he held him it looks like he killed it. Maybe I got Abrao\'s personality wrong, but he saved a rabbit from a bulldozer, and protects his forest but is alright with harming a sheep to get the upper hand in a fight?

Saintpio, your story was really cool and very Saturday morning cartoon. The silly antics of Mokku were amusing and I like that you really made him look like a monkey. I really dug it and considering your comic beginnings, I\'m happy to see how far you\'ve come and improved. Keep going!

Mokuu, I think you should focus on making less pages with more quality. Your stuff always seems unfinished/rushed. Again, all of your backgrounds seemed like afterthoughts. You can definitely draw well, I think the only thing missing is effort. Story-wise I wasn\'t impressed to be honest. Not saying it was bad, it made sense too, it was just very predictable. Next battle just slow down, put your best effort into every part of every panel, and don\'t be afraid to do something a little different.

saintpio, I\'m not going to lie dude, your drawings have a few issues! loosen up on your anatomy, and study up on perspective. It seems like you are using photoshop to make some of your boxes. I think in some places it works ad some places it doesn\'t. Your drawings are grey and then the boxes are black it looks kinda odd. It\'s tough to make an ink drawing look good with photoshop text. Maybe make the boxes on paper with a ruler and pen? I\'m guessing you are using ink and a brush, why don\'t you try out a dryer brush in the places where you have the motion lines instead of a pen? Again, I\'m just guessing on how you do things...
However, I thought your story was really cool. I thought it was funny and a clever approach. The sheep in the corner of each page was a nice touch... and I liked everyone\'s crazy fang teeth. I feel like your comic has more heart to it. That\'s why you get my vote

Mokuu-I think this is an improvement for you but you should still be pushing that lineart and detail more! I would also like to see you give your backgrounds some more love. While it\'s fine to do speed lines and stuff for the action, you need to make the panels that have the backgrounds really shine so you can get away with doing tons of speed lines without looking lazy. Also be careful with the layout of your text and your word bubbles. You can get some nice free comic fonts at http://blambot.com  and most of the fonts work nicely in word bubbles.

Saintpio-You\'ve come a long way! But be careful with your panel layouts! I was a little confused at times, especially on the first page, I really was unsure of what panel was supposed to come first. Also try to more clearly show action that is going on. Showing a closeup of someone getting hit in the head by something can be kind of vague. Try to zoom that shot out so we can see what he\'s getting hit by. I would really like to see the camera go out further on some panels, these are mostly all just zoomed in which can make it difficult to read. Your anatomy has improved and I like your toning, just keep pushing that anatomy and try to keep pushing your lineart.

Good showing from both of you! Hopefully I was coherent, commenting while on Nyquil is bad

Oh shit....i though it\'dd update the current pages but instead it doubled them. Wow, all that to try and cover a few typos, irony lol.

[[[[[[[The battle is only 10 pages.]]]]]]]]

Saintpio, yeah i was really stuck on the \"try whatever you get in mind\" since i couldn\'t analyze the character deeply with the two intro pages ((two pages just aint much to pour all your attitude  in.)). So Devil May Cry 4 took over, and shit just hit the fan creativity wise. But seeing your side of the battle i got a better idea of your characters.
I can smell the chuck jones influence in your side too, but what really gets me voting for you is the fact that you have Abrao volcanic shotgun an oldman in the face in the middle of the streets, that just turned my bad day right around and got me laughing for a good hour. IN THA FACE hahaha thats a classic right there.

Corny, woah wait, my ink brush lines are that bad? Shit i really need to slow down on the thickness, after finishing this rush then looking back at my favorite artist\'s ink lines, minereally feel too big for characters, or maybe not balanced well enough. As for the fonts, as much as i like this one, you\'re right, time to change. Added objectives.

I think this was easily your best comic yet and you should win hands down if there\'s any justice, but I think you got the wrong idea about my character. He was meant to be a pretty nice guy even though he\'ll kill you (it\'s in the bio I think). Also, I don\'t think he\'d reveal all his cards to his opponent unless the guy had already figured it out. Don\'t get me wrong but, I did like it. Just something to think about in your next fight. Also I reckon he\'d be a lot less honourable then asking to die. He\'d like run for it, but now I\'m probably just being picky. It was weird seeing someone else draw my character... I especially liked page 4, it was creepy.
As for my comic, I promise I\'ll do better in my next comic. The drawings and story are already starting to come along. I was watching a lot of bugs bunny when I was doing this one, and now that I look at it, it\'s kinda got the Sam and Ralph thing happening.

Actually he didn\'t, his battle got repeated for some reason.

Mokuu, I\'m jealous of you for the first like, two pages :I Such smooth lines. And even though a lot of it was pencils I gotta say I liked it. Very smooth lines, and you erase your extras.
I think you should get a different font, though... or something.

Saintpio, I liked your story. You had great ideas, and I really liked how the sheep told the page number. A minor detail, but an entertaining one none the less. I didn\'t really like how everybody had crazy fang teeth... that was a little creepy.

What the heck?! You did 20 pages!! Wow...I\'m gonna be soooo late for school trying to read this.

Mission accomplished, Debrief, new plan and on to experiment #4.

Submitted. Time to go catch up on school stuff I guess...
Enjoy (I hope)

Whoo hoo Saintpio! Lay the old dude smackdown on that whippersnapper!

Go all out.
Go apeshit, monkey turds and gorilla excrement!

Good luck guys!

Best of luck, Saint Pio.

I\'m expecting great things from you since your last battle and all the critiques I gave you!
DON\'T RUSH IT!

Saintpio...good luck and Have fun!

good luck to you on your first battle saintpio :3

Do an awesome job  Mokku! x3