nice art work uh Slade13 it was one of a kind...

Keeping it short~

Kura:  Your stories are always a blast to read, and I love your character!  This is one of your best battles yet.  But that gross-looking cross-hatching REALLY bugs me, it just never looks right.  

Slade: When I read your stuff, I always feel like I\'m watching a really cool action anime.    Your designs are crisp and clean and your lines always seem to be in just the right place.  It\'s just a bummer you didn\'t get to ink it.  

But it was a great fight from both sides!  

thanks for the crits monday and angie. sadly, at least as far as the blue/grey lines go, my comp died hard just before this was due, and i had very limited access to ps... once i got full access again (or at least enough to get stuff done right), i\'ll be putting these suggestions to use.

right now i\'m working on a bb to finish this properly... got till the kate vs paige is due to post it. \'why\' you may ask... you\'ll see ;3

Kura-It looked like you really gave it your all on this match, I wasn\'t too impressed with your QoV entries so this was a breath of fresh air. I really enjoyed the story you had going, my main complaint you\'ve already addressed above which was the light linework. Sometime you should consider experimenting with toning, I know a lot of manga don\'t have many backgrounds and instead rely on tones to get certain scenes/emotions across without having blank space. So that\'s something to consider to dump all that negative space. (although drawing the backgrounds would be nice, abstract tones work well with more manga influenced styles) The flipping of the table, the table itself on page 8 also looked a bit messy. Other than that I really enjoyed your half, the pacing was great and it was a step up from your previous work.

Slade-blueeeeeeee lineeeeeeeessssssss it\'s pretty easy to get rid of them with Photoshop by deleting the blue channel and then setting the image to gray scale, there are also various other tutorials on deviantart which will take you step by step through it. Your pencil work is lovely, I wish it were a little darker, which is something you could just adjust in Photoshop as well. I also really enjoyed the panel layout and the fight itself was well choreographed. A few panels felt a little empty like the bottom of page 4, but for the mostpart things worked well. I feel as if the fight ends a little too abruptly, don\'t leave us hanging dude! And of course this could have to do with your computer dying but fonnnnttttsssss yooooooooo! That is so not a dialogue font!

I really enjoyed both sides so great job both of you

OK

Kura kura kura kura kura kura : For a moment there I thought I was reading Slade\'s submission, but there was a nagging feeling at the back of my hand during all it and I realised it was YOU. Cause wow you\'re stuff compositionally is getting better and pacing FLOORED me hardcore. You\'ve always had the potential to make story but man now you can tell it too.

Anyways the only errors in your work was your wonky poses they seemed static with little natural flow, you should try to see into people when they\'re MID moving. And those hands always irked me when I looked at them. Work on those more ! You\'re getting there


Slaaaade,
you kept in line with your pencil work which pales against the forces of ink if you don\'t have them contrasted so well. Gray gray gray and even grayer , If you could have converted these to inks you would have gotten a huge chunk of this game but as it is, my interest didn\'t hold until the fight started. Where Kura weakened you apparently succeeded , with dynamic action poses, and lovely kinetic effects.

Of course that also means story execution, I didn\'t know what track you wanted to place me on, and I was a tad lost as to what reality you were trying to pose in this one- I assume they\'re similar and connected. In any case neither scene in your entry built up to anything crazy like your battle did- the reader\'s empathy just wasn\'t on the same track. So you get losses on execution and aesthetic.

Kura takes it on execution, pacing, and being a tad easier on the eyes.  Good fight both of you

noticed that i misspelled \'sun\' on page 01. and r-dakus can\'t throw as you can see on the bottom of page 04... i redrew that shot five times... it is the single panel in everything i\'ve done thus far that i can say i -HATE-. even the craptastic job i did on the page battle was better. T.T

anyhoo. kura, ub-tasic job friend. you delivered far better then i hoped. now i just have to make it up to everyone before the kate vs paige battle is posted.

see you all in one week.

Wow....I read both of your stories and I have to say that you\'re both more or less very even with each other in terms of serious drawing skills.  I can\'t leave a huge crit right now, but I will when I get the time.  As of now though, my vote would have to go to Kura since his is just slightly more polished than Slade\'s.  I found both to be very entertaining, clear to read, and overall enjoyable to look at.  Good job for the both of you!

graphyte: yah, it\'s a scanning issue that could have been avoided, but would require me to remove the pages from my sketchbook. i never really want to remove the pages from my sketchbook, but it always compromises the scan quality.  next time, ill just cut them out properly so the scan wont mess up.

Edit to my comment:  Slade told me that the fans were inside the desk that was smashed at the end of page 3.  Which would make sense.  However, I still don\'t think the fact that they were hidden was made sufficiently clear because I couldn\'t tell that the rubble on page 5 was a desk; let alone THE desk that was smashed.

Holy shit Kura, this was probably one of your best fights yet.

A full length review is pending.

Kura: It started off rather average, panels were rather devoid of background and there wasn\'t much interesting to look at, but it got better toward the end-- I would say that the amount you put into page 6 and afterwards is just about right.  I love the fight sequence, you might be using a little more speedline than you need to but the action comes across nicely.  And that past/present juxtaposition at the end blew me away!

A lot of your thin lines have a tendency to fade though, which is unbecoming next to an otherwise solid ink job.  Is this a scanning issue, or did you just not get to ink everything?

Slade13: First thing I gotta applaud here is your compositioning sense-- The panels never feel too cluttered out too empty, even when there\'s a lot of crazy shit going on (page 4 is particularly great at this by the way).  Even though the first page is more spacious, it fits with the \'dreamy\' feel you gave in the dialogue.  ; )

You also got some really solid pencils, quite sharp and probably would\'ve been a winner if you could\'ve cut out those blue pencil bits.  Something to watch on faces though; the placement of the eyes often ends up being pretty inconsistent.

The biggest flaw comes in page 5, however.  There\'s a logic error here that may confuse, and cause the finishing move in the last page to seem random/gratuitous (Well, it could be argued that it would\'ve been so even if the story was laid out properly)  But more to the point, I\'ll explain:

Kale sees something trapped under some rubble.  What the heck are those, and why does it make her sweat?

Oh, where did those fans come from?!  I thought those belonged to Veronica.  Well, maybe there was another pair hanging on the wall, and that\'s why they got caught under the rubble.  Backtrack a little to see.  No such thing, so maybe Kale picked them up after Veronica dropped them.  I check again.

But that\'s not right!  The fans don\'t fly out of her hands until the end of the page!  I don\'t care if you read from left-to-right, or right-to-left, the sequencing of that page is a mess.

Other than that though, a  solid battle, considering certain circumstances.

oi! all should be well...

my computer is now renamed to \'paperweight\'. it\'s dead, and with my brother\'s in the shop... again, i won\'t have any solid access to net or art progs for a few weeks. T.T but once i get my taxes all should be well.

Slade 13 has requested an extension....both artists receive....Deadline extended one week

Just from that, you know these guys are hardcore.

uh...

Nightingale Continuation
just like usual
yah

GUNDREAM SAGA
Phase One
Chapter Two
Stage One

...Start!!!