Wow, that\'s spot on, 4:00am. But now I\'ve got to wait until part 2 to see how Danielle handles the horrific trauma of witnessing mutilated bodies! Can\'t wait.

You guys are teasing us with these unfinished battles ;_;

Def that kind of critiquing is no good, especially if you\'re only going to post ONE SIDE. You should have saved your critique as a text file, and waited until you finished commenting on kev\'s pages before posting.

4am - You really put a lot into this, and it shows. I like Danielle\'s intro and how you gave some character to her environment. You also put a lot more time into building up a story, although I wish you could have finished it! Looks like you were running low on time towards the end. I have a few general crits. The thing that bothered me the most in your pages was the way the text looked. It was way too small, and some of it got cut out. Also there are some grammar errors in there that should have been fixed. When you layout your comics I want you to think like you are the reader. Keep in mind where the panels are leading your eyes. The reason I say this is because the way that the text was placed in the first page confused me a couple times, and I read things out of order. There is also some monotony in your action panels. I want you to draw more panels like that one where girl is getting pulled over the table! Thats dynamic and awesome. Overall good on your part!!

KevJB - You have a good solid flow to your panelling. Pages 2, 3, and 4 were great! Your story feels weak compared to what 4 am put into his, and the abrupt \"to be continued kind\" of bugged me!!! it kind of hit me hard where as 4 am\'s side was kind of conclusive. I wish you could have finished this all the way. I hope I see the rest of your battle soon!!!!

4:
1ST PAGE- Your anatomy needs ajustment, neither girl nor shrap have hips, and their legs seem too short compared to there torso. The background however is amazing, i have no complaints of it, however i cannot tell if they\'re standing infront of the scrapheep or if they are placed infront of it. The costumes are awesome.
2ND PAGE- panel 1\'s, 2\'s and 7\'s perspectives are off, not so much on panels 1 and 2, but its very obvious in panel 7. The coloring is phenominal, but you shade with inks in some places(7\'s bear/ 4\'s demon[that demon is nice by the way]), while you darken the colors in others, even it out.
3RD PAGE- the perspective of danielle in the first panel is off, judging off of it, her feet look humungous. The background though, is on mark. In panel 4, danielle\'s chin is directly attached to the back of her neck, whereas its spose to curve midways. Panels 5 and 7 are also amazing, but in panel 7, where\'d her sleeves go? why is there still glass in the left window?  
4TH PAGE- The perspective again, in the first panel, the left row of lockers are lower than the right. Panel 2, nice door. Panel 3, the space behind her hand is the glass right? or is the side curved? the buttons are longated, but why not the letters and numbers inside? Panels 4 and 5, nice detail. Panel 6, im looking at the shading and lighting, and its very nice, only one that bothers me is the shadow from the windows, its too dark, seeing thta theres a light on right above it. Panel 8, her freckles disappear, and without the text, i wouldnt kno if she was hitting shrap or the machine. Panels 9 and up are gold.
5TH PAGE-  Panel 1, im guessing that she used nanytes to change her outfit? and the chain seems to come from nowhere to go nowhere. Panel 2, shes not holding the chain. I can say though, that everything from when she pulls girl towards her to the blood are almost perfect, she swings the sheath downward, i would expect her to swing it upward.
6TH PAGE- i know you know that the background in panel three isnt finsih.... HATE ME FOR POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS!!!! panel 4 is nice, but its clear that the figures are halfassed.  The explosion, is splendid, but the cracks in the wall, throw me off. And i also kno you didnt finish the last panel.... but i hope the distortion of danielle is due to the forcefield... if it isnt, work on that.  >:I
7TH PAGE- comfused the hell outta me..... but now that i actually look at it, i can clearly see that Girl kneels, theres then a nice family portrait with the 3 girls, Girl the cleans herself off just as fast as Shrap can blow a bubble and generate some nifty knuckles. What is that purple stuff behind Girl though? Nanytes? Cloth? Fiery passion? 4, you know am an idiot.
8TH PAGE- poses are very jumbled here, sometimes you cannot solely rely on your knowledge of anatomy and detail. Panel 4, nice nose. Panel 5, i want you to study line of action, best way is to watch looney tunes. The cutting of Shrap\'s head, it seems painful, since the pacing shows it going slow, then once it hits the middle of her neck, she rips it fast. The pulling of the scythe  would also pull Shrap\'s body/head in the direction its moving.
9TH PAGE- i can tell you rushed here, no backgrounds and im guessing the floating things belonged to Shrap since they disappeared once her head was chopped off. Everything looks good up to the last panel, where ,again, the perspective and proportions are off.

HATE ME 4!!! IM SLEEPY!!! >:I
as for your comic Kev, ill get to it tomorrow....

i read both of these earlier today, but i\'m still having trouble figuring out what i\'m gunna vote. i liked them both, but each had their own qualities that were good in bad, and i\'m thinking in the end my votes will be about even.....(gunna have to wait till tomorrow and re-read them with \"new eyes\")

well, i think i can safely say the only thing that really dissapointed me from both sides was the \"to be continued\". i don\'t mind continued fights, but cutting them both off right at the climax is reaalllyyy annoying. especially since most \"to be continued\" fights don\'t ever get the continuations uploaded.

+\'s from both ends are how you each drew the......double-bladed kusarigama. loooooove how kev drew his especially. that was some delicious eye candy.

okay, well, i\'ll try to think of more to say after i re-read this tomorrow and vote  ;P

4:00 am: loved the intro, I really liked how you got us involved in the story with Danielle. You however kind of lost all that momentum when you got to Shrapnel and Girl. The whole fight felt like the first episode of FLCL, which is a good thing, with the intro and pacing once you hit the main characters. You did an amazing job with the detail in all the backgrounds, I do feel like you could work on fight scenes a little more. I just didn\'t feel the impact of those hits and Girl didn\'t look as if she was really getting hit very hard.

Kev-I really wish you could have gotten the whole battle up. This is your best looking fight yet and I was very impressed with your inking, just wish you could have had the entire fight toned. Your fight flowed very well so I was disappointed it didn\'t really have an ending. Lets see more stuff that looks like this in your future fights, those inks make me have orgasms.

Well ladies, I enjoyed both fights, but here we go:

4:00 am:  I really dig the way you\'re starting to do faces, and your colours are definetly improving as you practice them.  You\'re very good at static poses and pin-ups, but here is where you fall short for a \'battle comic\' - the action is quite poor.  Your perspective isn\'t dramatic enough to really make up for the loss of action in body poses, and when you don\'t use speed-lines or adjust the line-art, nothing pops.  I really want you to continue working on this, I still think its where you need to improve the most here.

Kev - You on the other hand, had some great action, and some great choices in angles/shots.  My gripe with you with with your anatomy, and the fact that so far you haven\'t shown the ability to vary your characters\' faces in a distinct fashion.  In a couple of panels I was initially confused as to who was who between the girls because of their designs and how your style doesn\'t make them particularly distinctive.  Work on this and you\'ll go far, I like what I see.

I like what I see from BOTH of you, and I look forward to more!

Technical difficulties... battle will be up a little later

Sorry I couldn\'t get it all uploaded but I\'m stuck house sitting for my brother. But look on the bright side. I\'m getting a hundred dollars for doing it.

Oh my, I completely agree with what Sixtem said.

GIRL ON GIRL ACTION !

This is gonna get pretty nice...

looking forward to it finally regenerator battle~

SIX... sorry you is too young for porns. No boobies for you.
I want MAYHEM.

OH should I be whipping out the clipboard for this one ?

uhoh

I WANNA SEE SOME CLOTHES GETTING RIPPED OFF!