Larathen vs. Father Mckenzie
Critiques & Comments
ramiel
29 comments
# 31
Posted:
Oct 31 2006, 11:57 AM
Good Job, Nachte!! ^_^
# 30
Posted:
Oct 27 2006, 01:21 AM
Sorry Father, I gotta give this one to Larathen IMHO.
Father- Your storyline is a bit of a mess. What\'s going on? I can tell that Larathen apparently killed/beat up horribly some buffoons, but then why the hell did he run all across town and then pick a church of all places to hide? And then, after a very brief conversation with the priest, he just runs out again? Where the hell is he going, and why didn\'t he stay longer if he even bothered to enter the church?
Larathen- Your storyline is more coherent and shows more out of both characters. Kudos. Though an explanation for what the hell is going on to Lara throughout that fight would have been nice... Or a look into his thoughts to tell us why he\'s gone bonkers...
Other than that, I don\'t have much to say. Not much of an art critic, me.
Father- Your storyline is a bit of a mess. What\'s going on? I can tell that Larathen apparently killed/beat up horribly some buffoons, but then why the hell did he run all across town and then pick a church of all places to hide? And then, after a very brief conversation with the priest, he just runs out again? Where the hell is he going, and why didn\'t he stay longer if he even bothered to enter the church?
Larathen- Your storyline is more coherent and shows more out of both characters. Kudos. Though an explanation for what the hell is going on to Lara throughout that fight would have been nice... Or a look into his thoughts to tell us why he\'s gone bonkers...
Other than that, I don\'t have much to say. Not much of an art critic, me.
# 29
Posted:
Oct 26 2006, 07:25 PM
Basically what everyone else said. I don\'t like repeating people. I love both stories and both styles of art. Can\'t really choose what to vote for, but sadly I think people decided who won. DX
# 28
Posted:
Oct 25 2006, 12:55 PM
I have to second DJ Neko\'s take on Larathen\'s battle: my take though is that you really concentrated on the story more than the art. I had to go through reading it twice. I know you can do better and have seen you do better.
Nachte: I am familiar with your style through all the times that we\'ve P-Chatted and RPd with Sixtem and DJ Neko. I like how it came together and I like how you put in the \'Morality\' issue into your battle. I enjoyed reading the stories and love Mac\'s interation with \'Him\'.
Nachte: I am familiar with your style through all the times that we\'ve P-Chatted and RPd with Sixtem and DJ Neko. I like how it came together and I like how you put in the \'Morality\' issue into your battle. I enjoyed reading the stories and love Mac\'s interation with \'Him\'.
# 27
Posted:
Oct 23 2006, 02:00 PM
Laraten
I like the expression on your character\'s face. Especially how his eyes look fukked up after wearing those glasses. I dig the cartoony pacing you got going on there, made the comic a lil adventurous. For example on page two the part where Laraten passes the church and stops to look again. Niceley done in two panels. Really sweet and simple background on page 5 in that confession type o scene. Dispite the fact your line art needs work, i respect the 9 coloured pages you managed to complete and got a pretty well rendition of McKenzie.
Nachte
Your comic just dives right into it and also sets of in a paced and calm adventure.
On page two where the group approaches Larathen made me laugh at the end of the page, typically \'we\'re gonna fukk you up now\' sequence. Beautiful. The fourht page inspired me again, i\'m loving the shitty looking environment and the \'Old Void\' sign, Hazard Theater. Very creative. Your angles and backgrounds are really comfortable to the eyes.
I like the story similarities you guys had going on. Having Larathen stomp some kid to make a point was fukking hilarious.
These were certainly two colourful entertaining comics.
Larathen i changed my mind, you can have Seel\'s couch. I\'m having her bed.
I\'ll still fight you for it. ;P
I like the expression on your character\'s face. Especially how his eyes look fukked up after wearing those glasses. I dig the cartoony pacing you got going on there, made the comic a lil adventurous. For example on page two the part where Laraten passes the church and stops to look again. Niceley done in two panels. Really sweet and simple background on page 5 in that confession type o scene. Dispite the fact your line art needs work, i respect the 9 coloured pages you managed to complete and got a pretty well rendition of McKenzie.
Nachte
Your comic just dives right into it and also sets of in a paced and calm adventure.
On page two where the group approaches Larathen made me laugh at the end of the page, typically \'we\'re gonna fukk you up now\' sequence. Beautiful. The fourht page inspired me again, i\'m loving the shitty looking environment and the \'Old Void\' sign, Hazard Theater. Very creative. Your angles and backgrounds are really comfortable to the eyes.
I like the story similarities you guys had going on. Having Larathen stomp some kid to make a point was fukking hilarious.
These were certainly two colourful entertaining comics.
Larathen i changed my mind, you can have Seel\'s couch. I\'m having her bed.
I\'ll still fight you for it. ;P
# 26
Posted:
Oct 21 2006, 09:41 PM
Laranthen: I know you\'ve heard it a lot, but...your comic looks like it was rushed. Really, really rushed. Looking back on the comment history, you submitted a week early. I think you should\'ve spent that week making it look better. Story-wise, it\'s not too shabby, though the \"rawr, psychopath!\" deal wasn\'t fleshed out as much as it could\'ve been. I personally think that the story wasn\'t that bad; the intro before you go to the church is fine. And then...it\'s just sloppy.
Nachte: I\'m...personally not a fan of your art style; looks a little too Bizarro-ish IMO. I think the feathery/cirley fade-ish affect is overused (that\'s the technical name for it, don\'t ya know). And...the fourth and half the fifth page are...scenery shots with the occasional picture of Lar standing there. If you were going for the \"he\'s running for a long time\" affect, I think the pictures need to be more dynamic than simple stills. They need...motion, blur, something to indicate that he\'s running. I\'d say your art\'s the better of the two, but it still needs a little work. Storywise, it\'s good, and I like slapping Lar with the irony.
Summary: Laranthen, if you still have time, spend it improving your art. Nachte, try using a different affect to transition, and work on your dymanic scenes.
Nachte: I\'m...personally not a fan of your art style; looks a little too Bizarro-ish IMO. I think the feathery/cirley fade-ish affect is overused (that\'s the technical name for it, don\'t ya know). And...the fourth and half the fifth page are...scenery shots with the occasional picture of Lar standing there. If you were going for the \"he\'s running for a long time\" affect, I think the pictures need to be more dynamic than simple stills. They need...motion, blur, something to indicate that he\'s running. I\'d say your art\'s the better of the two, but it still needs a little work. Storywise, it\'s good, and I like slapping Lar with the irony.
Summary: Laranthen, if you still have time, spend it improving your art. Nachte, try using a different affect to transition, and work on your dymanic scenes.
# 25
Posted:
Oct 20 2006, 11:57 PM
Nice hate bash rather than critiqueing there first commenter.
# 24
Posted:
Oct 20 2006, 09:32 AM
Nachte, i like your style, and the way you arrange each scene on the pages.
woog work!!!
woog work!!!
# 23
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 11:07 PM
John Lennon ftw!
good battles, both of you. Nachte... I\'m kinda jealous of your backgrounds...
good battles, both of you. Nachte... I\'m kinda jealous of your backgrounds...
# 22
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 08:53 PM
I haven\'t voted but I\'ll say a few things:
Larathen: Your battle was rushed. Theres no way of cutting it. While the story was interesting, it wasn\'t executed well enough for me to really be interested, spend more time on the planning stages and it might work out a bit better. Maybe you should also step back and work on your line work before slapping color on.
Nachte: Funny how both stories were similar. I think the feathering was a bit excessive when you had out of panel..panels...is that how you say it? Rather then having that fading off into white all the time, don\'t. It givesthe whole comic a more dream like feeling which doesn\'t really suit the story yanno? Otherwise, I like it.
Larathen: Your battle was rushed. Theres no way of cutting it. While the story was interesting, it wasn\'t executed well enough for me to really be interested, spend more time on the planning stages and it might work out a bit better. Maybe you should also step back and work on your line work before slapping color on.
Nachte: Funny how both stories were similar. I think the feathering was a bit excessive when you had out of panel..panels...is that how you say it? Rather then having that fading off into white all the time, don\'t. It givesthe whole comic a more dream like feeling which doesn\'t really suit the story yanno? Otherwise, I like it.
# 21
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 08:04 PM
nachte this is a big improvement on your last battle, i liked it alot, fuck i LOVED it.
Larathen main thing i noticed is that alot of your environments seemed flat. The story was interesting but the end seemed pretty rushed
Larathen main thing i noticed is that alot of your environments seemed flat. The story was interesting but the end seemed pretty rushed
# 20
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 06:37 PM
larathen i assume you stole one of mackenzies fingers on purpose, and it may be just me but i find it distracting as all hell. stylisticly i think it hurts your art alot more then it helps.
# 19
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 05:45 PM
How come the thumbs I wanted to use werent used?
Oh well.
Haha I love your part Nachte. Too bad I wish I couldve done better on my part >:
Oh well.
Haha I love your part Nachte. Too bad I wish I couldve done better on my part >:
# 18
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 04:25 PM
larathen,i would liked your story a lot more if it didn\'t seem to go by so fast. there were a lot of parts that seemed like they coulda used a bit more emphasis. like the phychosis(?) thing. it just seemed to appear and vanish so quickly .-.
as for quality, it\'s better than your first two fights, but i KNOW you can still do better than this. but you\'ve been able to get all of your fights coloured so, i\'m not complaining too much :3
nachte, your story didn\'t really do much for me....LOVED how you drew larathen though! that feathery-bird look worked well on him. uhm....don\'t know what else to say. enjoyed the visuals but not so much the story.
as for quality, it\'s better than your first two fights, but i KNOW you can still do better than this. but you\'ve been able to get all of your fights coloured so, i\'m not complaining too much :3
nachte, your story didn\'t really do much for me....LOVED how you drew larathen though! that feathery-bird look worked well on him. uhm....don\'t know what else to say. enjoyed the visuals but not so much the story.
# 17
Posted:
Oct 19 2006, 04:07 PM
Larathen: you have really gotta start putting in more of an effort with your comics.....submitting a week early is doing nothing but cheating yerself and providing even less of a comic fer us....this is sloppy and cheap....if you actually spent some time on drawing and plotting this would be different......you are capable of better but you aren\'t showing it
Natche: this is quite good.......the fade/feathering thing was a little over done...good.... just you overused it....but this well paced and well drawn...I woulda liked to see a bit more effort in the background and incidental stuff.only a minor thing to shoot for..but this was overall a good effort and showing on yer part
Natche: this is quite good.......the fade/feathering thing was a little over done...good.... just you overused it....but this well paced and well drawn...I woulda liked to see a bit more effort in the background and incidental stuff.only a minor thing to shoot for..but this was overall a good effort and showing on yer part
# 16
Posted:
Oct 18 2006, 09:47 PM
submitted! Finally. Haha that was a lot of work, but so worth it! : D
# 15
Posted:
Oct 11 2006, 12:38 AM
BATTLE UPLOADED AND RARIN TO GO!
Omfg Im so giddy.
Omfg Im so giddy.
# 14
Posted:
Oct 9 2006, 09:45 AM
2 Losses vs. 1 Win! Don\'t let the odds scare ya! Go Larathen!
# 13
Posted:
Oct 8 2006, 06:16 AM
What would Jesus do?
# 12
Posted:
Oct 7 2006, 10:02 PM
Good luck both of ya
# 11
Posted:
Oct 7 2006, 05:17 PM
Don\'t kick his ass, just.. try to work it out like civilized men.
# 10
Posted:
Oct 5 2006, 04:43 PM
Kick Gods ass Good Larathen
# 9
Posted:
Oct 2 2006, 01:12 AM
Do your best! XD
# 8
Posted:
Oct 2 2006, 01:10 AM
Do your best! XD
# 7
Posted:
Sep 30 2006, 09:07 PM
What?
# 6
Posted:
Sep 23 2006, 05:34 PM
I am now in an emotional slump...
# 5
Posted:
Sep 22 2006, 05:05 PM
mr. larathen machine GO~!
# 4
Posted:
Sep 20 2006, 07:47 PM
Furry vs GOD. The ultimate showdown of Christianity.
# 3
Posted:
Sep 20 2006, 07:04 PM
Awsomeness
# 2
Posted:
Sep 20 2006, 06:54 PM
I bet none of you saw this coming!
BUT I FUCKING DID.
Do your best, etc.
BUT I FUCKING DID.
Do your best, etc.
# 1
Posted:
Sep 20 2006, 04:34 PM
OOOHHH SNAP
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
4 weeks
Ended:
Oct 26th, 2006
Votes Cast:
58
Page Views:
1497
Winner:
Nachte
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