50 - 50 ..... whoah

Ok besides the bad text and lack of bg\'s here are my concerns.

4am: I think there is only like one page you don\'t use the blur tool. Don\'t over use that thing it gets sloppy and it diminishes your work quality. You got creative when using mav\'s powers. One thing I want to point out though, you used his left arm instead of his right on pg 5 last panel, but I\'m sure you already caught that.

namida: You said stuff came up and shit, but you get treated equally. You suck for not finishing pg2 and 5. Going to pg2 after reading pg1 completely ruined the lighting mood. Through out the whole time I didn\'t like the way you portrayed SG. She was way too generous. She might have found an attraction to him which was sorta interesting, but the true SG could care less. I don\'t mind the \"To be continued\" which is a big tease, but the text completely covered her face-you couldn\'t tell her reaction.

Every thing Zato said, I concur whole heartedly.

Shrapnel- Far too much text, far too hard to read. wonky text kerning and leading should be reserved for sound effects and singly emphasized words. Your font changes far too oddly.
And In alot of panels, PULL BACK! close-ups are nice, but a good panel isn\'t always just a character! You have alot of backgrounds, but I\'d still like an establishing shot. (but good going having them! I love backgrounds!) (watch your perspective)

Mavrick- looks beautifully colored (sometimes) if you just look at the characters. You need a setting I feel. Nothing to look at and nothing to ground your characters too. Single colored backgrounds are actualy working for me a lot, but I\'d much more like to see lines defining some sort of place. Page 3-4 are very nice and intimate, i like them, but you could pull back a bit in some of the panels on other pages.

4:00am: that freaking text you use is really hard to read... is ohright but I\'ve seen you do better and never again use that freakin blurry effect...ARTWISE I do like the way you draw action poses when loses her limbs is great...

Mav: well the lack of background it is an issue and I really cant tell where they are, theres some stairs and then an arcade machine, hmmm chucky cheese? but panels like the 2nd from the 3rd page is a thing that i like alot in here and I see you got better practise drawing single headshots...

4AM: If you look at your keyboard somewhere to the bottom right, you\'ll see a very special key between the backslash and the comma that I think you should use more often. Your art was bearable, but having to read that trashy dialogue just made this comic ten times more unenjoyable. I count less than FIVE periods used in this entire thing, and even the breaks between the dialogue didn\'t help communicate different ideas. In fact, like Graphyte stated, all the dialogue in this entire comic was SG repeating the SAME GODDAMN THING for EIGHT PAGES. It\'s not just bad character and plot development, it\'s annoying as hell. Okay, so MAYBE it\'s in character for SG to have only ONE thing on her mind during the whole thing, but do WE have to know EVERY SECOND of what she\'s thinking ? Sometimes it\'s okay to drop the reader in full perspective of the protagonist\'s thoughts, but if that protagonist won\'t get off a SINGLE THOUGHT, then it becomes a very dull and annoying read that takes a LOT away from your art and story. Try to match the speed of your story with your art; if the art suggests that the story is moving, MOVE THE STORY WITH IT. You had eight pages to work with and that ONE idea should have ended in the half of the FIRST page.

namida: While the half-colored docks you SLIGHTLY for quality (as well as the lack of backgrounds as Wyvern mentioned), yours put me in a better mood than 4AM\'s. Consistant story, mildly interesting, but at least there was a draw to reading this comic. I\'d have liked to have seen this comic finished, although the way you\'ve had it planned out, you actually could have ended it when Mav launched his attack; it gives a better sense of conclusion than a big TO BE CONTINUED, and it works as an \'open end\' to a fight (because really, we don\'t need a big combat scene for a comic to be considered a \'fight\').

Thanks for the crits and votes guys

Our comics are obviously not 100% (the black and white pages are a dead give away). I always save backgrounds for last, so that\'s why they aren\'t there. Also, I feel lame for the the lack of fighting in mine, but that part was suppose to come later (it was going to be 10 pages long). Between finals, work, social life, and mmorpgs (you can play those and still have a social life lol)... I didn\'t give myself much time. This has only made me want to do something REALLY awesome next time.

4:00 am - man, I love the way you draw, but I HATE the way you write.  Not the content, but no punctuation (That isn\'t a style sweetheart, that\'s just hard to read), and fuzzy?  ARUGH I couldn\'t read it all!!  Nice painting style, but I wish you had crisper borders and lines so it was easier to tell what was happening.

Namida - *sniff sniff*  Y\'know what I smell on you?  SOmeone who is very good at figures, but can\'t draw backgrounds for shit.  *I* am along the same lines, so I know one when I see one.    I love your figures and painting style, but the story was a little jumbled and pretty flat.  I really really liked how you drew Shrapnel Girl though, she was adorable!

I gave this one to 4:00am, \'cause of all the work that he evidently put into this.  Good fight you two, and a good debut, Namida. ^^

for the love of the comic gods... regular type or hand lettering in decent sized ballons for readability.  also.. coloring isnt everything! you can pull off the story in black and white and it can look just as good.  

Pretty decent fight you two.

4AM: Pretty good art you\'ve got here, but like graph said, that text was a major eyesore man, in all honesty I kinda skipped over more than half the text because of that, so try some normal text ok? Other than that, the art was good, but some anatomy issues pop up here and there (Mostly facial), but this is a more complete fight, vote for you man.

Namida: Pretty good artwise, but lack of backgrounds and tons of negitive space really left a sour taste in my mouth, also  you really need something more attention grabbing story wise girl! I honestly skimmed half of your dialoge because I found none of this to be intresting. You gotta kick things up a notch! Put in a fight, put in different camera angles, backgrounds, fighting, action, something other than this! I\'ll give you points for the art, just work on your storytelling.

Sorry if I\'m a bit harsh, everybody has gotta have a good critique every now and then. Let\'s see some more fights you two.

I was gonna put backgrounds, but 4:00am said that Santa was real and backgrounds are what killed him.

you know that thing that silver bullets do to werewolves  and that  sun light does to  vampires
Lil secret bout namida  Backgrounds do the same thing to her  it\'s like Namida bane  I show her some refrence and she passes out so she can\'t have backgrounds  it would kill her  and i wouldn\'t want her to die  plus  between certain  rpgs and  activities  we kinda both ran low on time  

I liked namida\'s art more, but 4am had more complete work, so you guys pretty much tied for quality from me. I\'m not too sure how my votes turned out, so I\'ll just get to the crits.

4am - your art is improving loads, and it\'s much easier to make things out than it was before. Some pages were very blurry, and it made it hard to read the text. There wasn\'t a great deal of story to it, but it made me smirk at some parts, mostly because of Haruka\'s amusing thought process and nature.

Namida - not much going on, but it\'s a nice start. I wish there was more substance to the comic, either in story or art. Also, try adding backgrounds, even if they\'re really simple ones to start.

Shrapnel Girl:  Well, first off I think the shaky white text on red is really hard to read... that, and it\'s kind of wordy considering it just reiterates over and over what a jerk Mav is and how pissed SG is.

Action poses need a bit of work I think, oftentimes the arms or the legs will kind of suggest it but the torso doesn\'t really follow through.  The angles are pretty cool though, and I like the regeneration sequence for that reason as well as your choice of the blue lighting to make it feel like an intermission.

Mavrick: Lovely painting style!  But those are some really lazy backgrounds, other than the arcade machine and the bathtub which are passable.  At least, I would try not to draw them with a line tool since it make them look very flat compared to the rest of the art.

Not a whole lot going on, either.  Here\'s hoping it\'ll get more interesting as time goes on.


Gave this one to Mavrick just slightly for cleaner and more coherent artwork.

On hold while fixing an issue with this... may have to rename Mav

extension?? >D

shut up 4:00am. i didn\'t say you could speak.

Past due then 9 days??? Cock  Teasssseeeeeeeee
P.s. is this an extention cause i\'m cool with that

eep is this sum computer error ? or did namida upload sum .png files

who voted on my red x\'s?

namida forgets to log out of other people\'s usernames.

4:00am sucks

I almost forgot about you two.

NeoIcirus...you rhymed...you better hope it wasn\'t intentional.

So... is this where your two characters fall in love in VOID as well?

I better see some REAL fighting 4AM or she\'s taking your job

Oh shits, this ones gunna get DOMESTIC

Already in a fray on the first day? Nice.

You guys don\'t waste any time do you? Get a room.