oh i forgot to mention, the font you used for the YOU CRAZY SONOFABITCH line is horrendous. i think EVERYONE (me included) has used that font at one point or another, but we must end it today. PUNCH OUT!
ok zombone, YOU WANT IT HERE IT COMES
your first page definately needs a better start. its the page where youre trying to bring the reader into the comic and grab him by the balls. there wasnt really anything that wowed me, and i felt it lacked a lot of atmosphere. if you had replaced the second panel and made it the first, but much bigger, and zoomed out more so that you could see more of the city then that wouldve worked alot better. i love ashitos expression on the third panel, and the last panel is pretty decent and works well.
second page is completely jarring. theres no establishing shot in the beginning, so i immediately though that he was still in the street alley. this is just a personal comment, but i think it would be funny to see the doods head stewing in the pot. the last panel doesnt really work either, it took me a while to figure out he was being punched in the back of the head. the background looks like a cheesy copout to me too. i liked the way you set up the panels on this page, and its good to see you keeping up with the more dynamic angles.
third page, the whole setup where hes grabbing for the knife is really well done. after that it looses its momentum for me. theres not as much intensity in the fight as im used to seeing from you. chefs face on the last panel is awesome, but the kick doesnt seem to hold any kind of impact, just like his foot is resting on his chin.
4th page is my favorite til it gets to the end, where like everyone else says, i have no idea what happens to chef. from the red gradient, it looks like he gets a hole blown through him or something, but theres no little loosen bits of charred chef coming off of him so i could be wrong. the first panel is HOT, and if it had a background it would be XTREEMLY HOT. second panel is a little odd, but i think its supposed to imply that chef got kicked over the counter? if thats the case, you couldve explained it better with a reaction shot of chef (getting tossed or whatever) after the first panel to make it flow better. ashito going ragemode is pretty standard and it works, though i think the first face shot of him looks lazy compared to the rest of the great faces you put in. i like the chef running panel alot, but its hard to tell if hes running TO or AWAY from ashito. putting a small silhouette in the bg if hes running away, or a foreground hand (or something) if hes running to would remedy this.
overall, its decent, but ive seen alot better from you. keep GIVIN'R
sorry i disappointed.
i would have liked to hear some indepth crits, maybe a few recommendations, on anything be it color, lineart, anatomy, paneling, pacing, story, script, etc. other than the obvious shortcoming of not adding in the last page.
oh and Fuu, i usually spend my time finding ways to distract myself from whats important. heh.
Man, it's sad to see Chef go. This was actually one of your better entries too JB. Still though, there's so much to Chef that seems left unsaid, I hope you don't forget about him in the future.
Zombi, great to see your work again. Always wonder what guys like you are up to in the meantime, but as long as you're drawing it's all good. I'm liking the use of shadows with the colors here. You and JB have put up a great show.
Good luck!
Good fight you guys
Zombi: Quality wise this was hot, however it was kinda anti climactic. You could feel the fight building to a head and then it just fizzles. Still damn good work though.
JB: Even for just pencils this was a very good fight. Storywise you were on as you could feel the weight of the situation all the way through. Woulda been dope to see this one in colors
JB, your style had some class, pencils or not. Even if you don't think it, you've got skills.
No offense zombi, but yours was kind of a let down. Truth be told, it don't think it was quite worth the wait, you know? You're other battles were all kinds of EPICO, but this seemed just average. The art was stellar, but the story seemed boring and half-hearted. You still have my vote, but I'm sure you could have done much more with this.
hey wuts up u guys, nice comics both of u, i have to say i liked ashito's alot better tho, seemed more interesting and liked that it was colored, tho black n whites are good to. cool comix
haha yeah yeah..i think this is the best ive done so far..not to discourage you zom. but mine looks ok..for a shitty artist like me..hahaa......what am i tryin to say...mines still shit..
Heh. It looks like ol' Chef is going to the big kitchen in the sky. And it appears that JB wants it that way. All before my chef comes to Void.
No matter, I can work with this. After being terrorized by a pyscho chef, it only seem proper that a heroic chef come and restore the prestige of the culinary arts. I will show you what good cooking is all about!
Heh. It looks like ol' Chef is going to the big kitchen in the sky. And it appears that JB wants it that way. All before my chef comes to Void.
No matter, I can work with this. After being terrorized by a pyscho chef, it only seem proper that a heroic chef come and restore the prestige of the culinary arts. I will show you what good cooking is all about!
Heh. It looks like ol' Chef is going to the big kitchen in the sky. And it appears that JB wants it that way. All before my chef comes to Void.
No matter, I can work with this. After being terrorized by a pyscho chef, it only seem proper that a heroic chef come and restore the prestige of the culinary arts. I will show you what good cooking is all about!
wow...im actually done with my sketches..now i gotta draw it....
AND YES!..for all the people who couldnt follow my pages before(which was all of my battles) ahaha this one should be good and easy to follow..i hope i lose though..i wont ink or color them...just to make sure...but im sure zombi is cookin up a storm
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