The comic, as always, was fire. The song lyrics really sell how harsh Koe feels towards law enforcement. I loved that the means of keeping her apprehended was a seal attached to the wall. Next level attention to detail. The use of color when needed was great, the story progression was great. How fortuitous that the next opponent be a MOTHER and the way she phrased her question to Koe after potentially speaking to her son for the last time was so fucking good. Such a great entry. Also I have cried every single time I get to the scene where her trauma memory is triggered. Thank youuuuuuuuu <3
Also Sojiin cameo was excellent, I LOVE the way you draw her ;w;
Tgood -
Well where do I even begin??? Holy shit this was SUCH A COOL IDEA to have it happen in the past. To see a younger Choko experimenting with her likes and dislikes through becoming "friends" with Koe. Chef's kiss. And truly, even if it was explicitly stated, I liked that Choko acknowledged they BOTH used each other, not just Koe and not just Choko. It makes that last page hurt all the more when Choko decides to do something that she can't take back.
This comic was so good, and I love that Koe could serve as a catalyst for getting more backstory for Choko! Seeing a more cute and innocent looking Maneki-Neko, worried about Choko while she seems checked out of everything herself, I wanted to cry 😭 but also I'm on Choko's side with how the agency is just extracting from magical girls and not actually as good as they all want you to believe.
One of the things that really kills me about Choko's story is how she's clearly been chewed up and spit out by life, but instead of fighting against systems like the ones that hurt her, she chose to use them for her own gain, perpetuating the harm despite somewhere deep down clearly still having a piece of her that cares and wants the world to be better.
It was really fun to see her in the middle of that transformation, to see all of the bad coping mechanisms and escapes. Koe fits in nicely to that stage of her life, and it's fun to see both of them using each other. The fact that Choko seemed to almost hope again, only for Koe to betray her at the worst moment, AUGH IT HURTS!!!
I can't get over the fact that both of our comics involve Koe siccing a crowd of people on the cops XD your vision was clairvoyant 👀
I really loved this comic! the storytelling is phenomenal as always! And there's so much I can use for Koe's future story if you win, so it's really a win-win either way! thanks for being such a wonderful opponent and good luck to both of us!!!
Easily my favorite matchup of this round. The chemistry and dynamic these character’s have are both so prevalent in your comics that I wish there were more to read up on with these two.
This is EASILY the tightest match in my opinion because both of you really gave it your all and it’s so evident with these pages. Just excellent work you two!
𝚃𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳:
Your comic says it’s open to critiques as well as comments, but any critique that I honestly have are minor nitpicks. Like I’m not sure if missing periods and/or commas on a number of the narration boxes on pages 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, and so forth was intentional or just something that was missed when doing the lettering.
Full disclosure Ididcheck briefly to see if it may be a manga thing? But I’ve no 100% idea and could be wrong on how things are done.
The GL (and overall story) here is well written and paced, and the song you shared fits the vibes so perfectly.
𝕿𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖓:
I’m trying to be so good at critiques because your works deserve it, and there’s mention of wanting in-depth critique.
Page 5 panel 4 (for example) This might be a personal thing, but seeing as there’s a tangent happening because of the docking, I feel it important to mention just being more mindful of where bubbles are going. Here are some examplesof what I mean for just that instance.
I also think having music notes, or the singing be represented by putting the lyrics in a wave would really help elevate your comic pages. I really like this SDSU page on showing music in comics. I feel like there is just so much fun that can be done with a character and concept like this!
Page 6 panel 5 is a perfect example of everything I’ve mentioned. The bubble placements and the lyrics. There’s a lot going on that it almost feels cluttered, but there’s so much empty space too.
This is a personal opinion, but I love when lettering in particular suits the style of comic they’re being put on. I think your bubbles in general would look a lot better with thicker lines.
When you’re really at it, I love your line weights and character proportions a ton. Just deliciously curvy. I like how although this is an ACAB comic, there’s some nuance being shown at the end with a really nicely implemented flashback.
Overall this was a nice comic to read– and once again I seriously enjoy the dynamic shown here.
(PS. I tried twice to make formatting work. So that's why comment count looks higher, it's because of my attempts.)
Comments (8)
I love how absolutely brutal the beat down Choko gets is, Koe's power can be really dangerous. also thank you for the Monster Leaper cameo.
The goth lesbian past for Choko was a gag and I live for it. This was a great messy story and the scar of turning Kao into an Oni was really cool.
Thorn -
The comic, as always, was fire. The song lyrics really sell how harsh Koe feels towards law enforcement. I loved that the means of keeping her apprehended was a seal attached to the wall. Next level attention to detail. The use of color when needed was great, the story progression was great. How fortuitous that the next opponent be a MOTHER and the way she phrased her question to Koe after potentially speaking to her son for the last time was so fucking good. Such a great entry. Also I have cried every single time I get to the scene where her trauma memory is triggered. Thank youuuuuuuuu <3
Also Sojiin cameo was excellent, I LOVE the way you draw her ;w;
Tgood -
Well where do I even begin??? Holy shit this was SUCH A COOL IDEA to have it happen in the past. To see a younger Choko experimenting with her likes and dislikes through becoming "friends" with Koe. Chef's kiss. And truly, even if it was explicitly stated, I liked that Choko acknowledged they BOTH used each other, not just Koe and not just Choko. It makes that last page hurt all the more when Choko decides to do something that she can't take back.
OKAY WHY IS PUNK CHOKO SO HOT THO!?
This comic was so good, and I love that Koe could serve as a catalyst for getting more backstory for Choko! Seeing a more cute and innocent looking Maneki-Neko, worried about Choko while she seems checked out of everything herself, I wanted to cry 😭 but also I'm on Choko's side with how the agency is just extracting from magical girls and not actually as good as they all want you to believe.
One of the things that really kills me about Choko's story is how she's clearly been chewed up and spit out by life, but instead of fighting against systems like the ones that hurt her, she chose to use them for her own gain, perpetuating the harm despite somewhere deep down clearly still having a piece of her that cares and wants the world to be better.
It was really fun to see her in the middle of that transformation, to see all of the bad coping mechanisms and escapes. Koe fits in nicely to that stage of her life, and it's fun to see both of them using each other. The fact that Choko seemed to almost hope again, only for Koe to betray her at the worst moment, AUGH IT HURTS!!!
I can't get over the fact that both of our comics involve Koe siccing a crowd of people on the cops XD your vision was clairvoyant 👀
I really loved this comic! the storytelling is phenomenal as always! And there's so much I can use for Koe's future story if you win, so it's really a win-win either way! thanks for being such a wonderful opponent and good luck to both of us!!!
ΒΘΤΗ:
Easily my favorite matchup of this round. The chemistry and dynamic these character’s have are both so prevalent in your comics that I wish there were more to read up on with these two.
This is EASILY the tightest match in my opinion because both of you really gave it your all and it’s so evident with these pages. Just excellent work you two!
𝚃𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳:
Your comic says it’s open to critiques as well as comments, but any critique that I honestly have are minor nitpicks. Like I’m not sure if missing periods and/or commas on a number of the narration boxes on pages 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, and so forth was intentional or just something that was missed when doing the lettering.
Full disclosure I did check briefly to see if it may be a manga thing? But I’ve no 100% idea and could be wrong on how things are done.
The GL (and overall story) here is well written and paced, and the song you shared fits the vibes so perfectly.
𝕿𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖓:
I’m trying to be so good at critiques because your works deserve it, and there’s mention of wanting in-depth critique.
Page 5 panel 4 (for example) This might be a personal thing, but seeing as there’s a tangent happening because of the docking, I feel it important to mention just being more mindful of where bubbles are going. Here are some examples of what I mean for just that instance.
I also think having music notes, or the singing be represented by putting the lyrics in a wave would really help elevate your comic pages. I really like this SDSU page on showing music in comics. I feel like there is just so much fun that can be done with a character and concept like this!
Page 6 panel 5 is a perfect example of everything I’ve mentioned. The bubble placements and the lyrics. There’s a lot going on that it almost feels cluttered, but there’s so much empty space too.
This is a personal opinion, but I love when lettering in particular suits the style of comic they’re being put on. I think your bubbles in general would look a lot better with thicker lines.
When you’re really at it, I love your line weights and character proportions a ton. Just deliciously curvy. I like how although this is an ACAB comic, there’s some nuance being shown at the end with a really nicely implemented flashback.
Overall this was a nice comic to read– and once again I seriously enjoy the dynamic shown here.
(PS. I tried twice to make formatting work. So that's why comment count looks higher, it's because of my attempts.)
I was afraid of this matchup 🥲 I've got a great idea for a comic, but it's gonna HURT