This is so gorgeous, the melancholy that Nathaniel exudes makes for such a lovely, somber comic. The inclusion of Fuuka is so clever too, I love the foreboding used! I'm looking forward to more!
24 Hour comic is certainly a fine challenge. And I agree with your cute simplified style to carry you through this challenge. I like the limited color palette of the first page but am a little disappointed you did not use that pink tint again throughout the comic, I feel it could have been used to greater effect on some of the later panels. You have a good flow and a good style for cutesy expressions.
But one thing to keep in mind, you chose to establish the setting in the first panel which is a good choice but you didn't really set up the characters to introduce them to the reader. I dont have a sense of who the guy is who walks into the bar. I dont have a sense of the characters' relationship to each other or why she reacts the way she does when this guy enters the bar.
One last thing to recommend, for flashback scenes like that one panel, it's best to do something to differentiate that it's a scene in the past such as a light texture over the panel or color just to indicate that it's happening out of place.
Putrid:
Very impressive work for a 24 hour work. You've got great figures and interesting panel work. I love the character designs, especially Fuuka in your style. But the backgrounds and the decisions you made for the backgrounds leave me scratching my head a little. The first panel with the character's feet, indicating they're entering the scene...the background is a few lines that don't really serve a purpose. There's no perspective or dimension to those lines. Not even entirely sure it's a structure. So without those features, you might have been better off leaving those out. And they end up standing out all the more because the last panel is so full of detail. Certainly ambitious on a limited timer but I can't help but think your time would have been better spent elsewhere, as the level of detail here only serves to show where the art is lacking in other sections.
You also have some good ideas on perspective here but I would work on how the figures relate to each other within that perspective. Hopefully you're using a grid or measure out horizon and vanishing points and that would help you better place figures in relation to each other. I say this, because the dead guy in the second panel looks huge in comparison to your menacing figure here. He is too big and too elevated to be on the same plane as your standing figure. And an added piece of advice here, since the tone of the scene is a dark one, I would darken the shading here too. Make the shadows deeper, and therefore make the scene more serious.
The next couple of pages are much improved and immensely enjoyable. My only other criticism here is the lack of shading and shadows that appear early on but disappear for the rest of the comic.
Having this pop up genuinely made me giddy, both of these are short and sweet and I can see both of em becoming genuinely good acquaintances at the very least!
Absolutely INSANE that these 2 comics were both 3 pages long and done in a single day. INSANITY!
Raltz: After having read a good couple of your comics, I have come to know and understand your brand of humor pretty well. So I was rather surprised when along with the usual set of jokes, you actually pulled off a genuinely nice connection between both characters. It was super endearing and I really digged how natural it felt to connect both of them through their similar circumstance! Real good stuff!
Putrid: The first page is an absolute BANGER! It has everything! Sets the tone, style and also lays down the ground work for something bigger all in just a single set of panels. GENIUS! The rest of the comic while not as detailed still had the same amount of effort and quality put into it, and I loved every single bit of the interaction. All in all an delicious meal of a comic. (Or maybe a delicious drink of a comic in this case? LMAO)
Ratlz: You're writing is improving a lot alongside your art! I'm impressed how your last few comics have been sprinkling in accurate void lore and your characterization of your opponents has been spot on! It was a good choice making the comic panels the same in a 24 hour comic I find that to be the best strategy to get the most milage out of your time. Making it all red was a good choice too but I'm surprised to not see any of your usual screen tones. In fairness 24 hours doesn't award a lot of extra time for things like that.
Putrid: I'm interested in how you make your backgrounds! Is it a 3D model that you ink and color over or is it a texture thing you add so you don't need to ink? Either way it was pretty smart whatever tactic you used to make the backgrounds because this looks like one of those comics that would take way more than 24 hours. Whoever you decide to death match should be afraid lol
I absolutely loved this! I really really adored the dynamic you wrote between Fuuka and Nathaniel- that strange kinship between them of being a barista and having an insufferable partner is so fitting and well done!
The thought of King and Vincent meeting is so fun and terrifying at the same time lmao!
I would love for them to remain friends as their story progresses :D the last panel was so sweet and cute
Comments (13)
This is so gorgeous, the melancholy that Nathaniel exudes makes for such a lovely, somber comic. The inclusion of Fuuka is so clever too, I love the foreboding used! I'm looking forward to more!
Raltz:
24 Hour comic is certainly a fine challenge. And I agree with your cute simplified style to carry you through this challenge. I like the limited color palette of the first page but am a little disappointed you did not use that pink tint again throughout the comic, I feel it could have been used to greater effect on some of the later panels. You have a good flow and a good style for cutesy expressions.
But one thing to keep in mind, you chose to establish the setting in the first panel which is a good choice but you didn't really set up the characters to introduce them to the reader. I dont have a sense of who the guy is who walks into the bar. I dont have a sense of the characters' relationship to each other or why she reacts the way she does when this guy enters the bar.
One last thing to recommend, for flashback scenes like that one panel, it's best to do something to differentiate that it's a scene in the past such as a light texture over the panel or color just to indicate that it's happening out of place.
Putrid:
Very impressive work for a 24 hour work. You've got great figures and interesting panel work. I love the character designs, especially Fuuka in your style. But the backgrounds and the decisions you made for the backgrounds leave me scratching my head a little. The first panel with the character's feet, indicating they're entering the scene...the background is a few lines that don't really serve a purpose. There's no perspective or dimension to those lines. Not even entirely sure it's a structure. So without those features, you might have been better off leaving those out. And they end up standing out all the more because the last panel is so full of detail. Certainly ambitious on a limited timer but I can't help but think your time would have been better spent elsewhere, as the level of detail here only serves to show where the art is lacking in other sections.
You also have some good ideas on perspective here but I would work on how the figures relate to each other within that perspective. Hopefully you're using a grid or measure out horizon and vanishing points and that would help you better place figures in relation to each other. I say this, because the dead guy in the second panel looks huge in comparison to your menacing figure here. He is too big and too elevated to be on the same plane as your standing figure. And an added piece of advice here, since the tone of the scene is a dark one, I would darken the shading here too. Make the shadows deeper, and therefore make the scene more serious.
The next couple of pages are much improved and immensely enjoyable. My only other criticism here is the lack of shading and shadows that appear early on but disappear for the rest of the comic.
Crazy about your anatomy and expressions Putrid! Always happy to see you upload.
Very cute interaction between these 2.
Having this pop up genuinely made me giddy, both of these are short and sweet and I can see both of em becoming genuinely good acquaintances at the very least!
Absolutely INSANE that these 2 comics were both 3 pages long and done in a single day. INSANITY!
Raltz: After having read a good couple of your comics, I have come to know and understand your brand of humor pretty well. So I was rather surprised when along with the usual set of jokes, you actually pulled off a genuinely nice connection between both characters. It was super endearing and I really digged how natural it felt to connect both of them through their similar circumstance! Real good stuff!
Putrid: The first page is an absolute BANGER! It has everything! Sets the tone, style and also lays down the ground work for something bigger all in just a single set of panels. GENIUS! The rest of the comic while not as detailed still had the same amount of effort and quality put into it, and I loved every single bit of the interaction. All in all an delicious meal of a comic. (Or maybe a delicious drink of a comic in this case? LMAO)
I can hardly wait for what comes next!
I pop in and get to read these cute comics!!!
Ratlz: You're writing is improving a lot alongside your art! I'm impressed how your last few comics have been sprinkling in accurate void lore and your characterization of your opponents has been spot on! It was a good choice making the comic panels the same in a 24 hour comic I find that to be the best strategy to get the most milage out of your time. Making it all red was a good choice too but I'm surprised to not see any of your usual screen tones. In fairness 24 hours doesn't award a lot of extra time for things like that.
Putrid: I'm interested in how you make your backgrounds! Is it a 3D model that you ink and color over or is it a texture thing you add so you don't need to ink? Either way it was pretty smart whatever tactic you used to make the backgrounds because this looks like one of those comics that would take way more than 24 hours. Whoever you decide to death match should be afraid lol
I absolutely loved this! I really really adored the dynamic you wrote between Fuuka and Nathaniel- that strange kinship between them of being a barista and having an insufferable partner is so fitting and well done!
The thought of King and Vincent meeting is so fun and terrifying at the same time lmao!
I would love for them to remain friends as their story progresses :D the last panel was so sweet and cute
Thank you sm for the battle! I had a blast!
This was really fun to read, I liked the story and the characters, very fun !
Nice Lil comic !
Great job both of you. 24 hour comics are a wild ride and these are both fun reads
These were both nice and short reads!