Fuu: I love your use of color in this! The sudden invasion of reds and yellows on page 4 was super striking. Your expressions here were pretty strong, too!
Pizza: Super cool comic! Obsessed with the title you chose, lol. The color palette here is super interesting as well - the greens and reds you picked out go super nicely together!
GG Fuu! Your battle was a great read and I really enjoyed your characterization of everyone! Also incredibly impressive to put a car in your comic those things are such a pain in the ass to draw! The best part of your comic for me was the paneling it shines especially in the action parts.
I really dig the contrast between the vibrant reds and dark greens here :D it amps up the unnerving undertone of the story. I also enjoyed the humor, Bill is a fun antagonist that lends himself well to a lot of jokes haha
A few things:
When I first read this comic, I had a hard time telling who the guy at the start was, even after Minsoo got his glasses back. I think it's because you drew his hair a bit more spiky like minjun's? And his outfit doesn't scream "Minsoo" to me. I think if you made his hair a little longer and less spiky, it would've been easier to tell; Or if you added some more jewelry.
The lettering is kinda wonky. the tails of your hand-drawn speech bubbles are often inconsistent in width (sometimes they're really really thick but get thinner near the end, sometimes there is no line weight), and your text is off-center often (ex. first two speech bubbles of page 3). Watch out for text touching the borders of your speech bubbles; It should be contained within the bubble while leaving some space around it.
The perspective in some of the panels is off; Aside from the horizon line being placed more upwards than it should be (resulting in tilted backgrounds and characters that don't quite fit the perspective shown), some other hiccups I noticed are: In the 2nd panel of page 4 it looks like the knife Minsoo is looking at is really really far away, but on the very last panel it appears to be closer than previously shown (which isn't played in a comedic way so I can only assume it is unintentional). In the first panel of page 9, if Minsoo fell all the way to the bottom of the stairs (and the camera is down with him looking up), the top of the stairs should still be visible even with the door frame--- unless it's a really really steep set of stairs. The building in page 14 is also rather crooked, I would suggest using more rulers or tools like the ones you used to draw the table in page 1.
The pink/purple you used for Minjun's speech bubbles kinda clashes with your palette. Color-coding for your speech bubbles is not really necessary when you have the tails pointing at the character who's speaking.
Aside from that, this comic was a very fun ride :) Consider me curious about this "tree of life"
Posted on If You Set A Doll House On Fire, Do Tiny Firemen Come to Put it Out?comic by Pizza Man
Pizzaman, I’m always impressed by how many pages you manage to deliver. Bill is a super interesting villain, but I didn’t fully understand the ending this time.
Fuu, I love the way you handle lighting in your comics, and this one’s no exception!!
Oh and Nagore would 100% binge the Twilight movies with Vidia ‘ironically,’ and they’d end up actually liking it hahah.
I looooove your monochrome palettes and the different kinds of textures you overlay on top of your pages :) Page 4 is visually one of my favourites for how boldly it experiments with neons and more "vibrant" tones.
A couple of things that stood out to me:
Despite the change in palette, the gunshots in page 4 didn't feel to me like they had much impact? I had to go back and re-read because I was wondering what happened to driver. Which actually, brings me to my second point below
Sometimes there isn't enough contrast in certain panels. Without any outlines, the dark tones kind of blend into each other and make it difficult to read. I couldn't intially see the corpse in page 4, I could barely see the car in page 6, and Minjun's hair kind of blends into the sea in page 9 (panel 6).
Story-wise I thought it was short n sweet (not sweet in a wholesome way but you get what I mean). Flows well and the dialogue got a giggle out of me a few times. The ending was interesting; I would've personally liked if the change in Minjun's demeanor in the last page was made to stick out more with a palette change, but that's a nitpick (and more of an art nitpick than a story one).
I really enjoy the buildup and story overall on the comic. The lineart and colors were very pleasing to the eye, if you continue this im interested in where the story will go!
Comments (14)
Fuu: I love your use of color in this! The sudden invasion of reds and yellows on page 4 was super striking. Your expressions here were pretty strong, too!
Pizza: Super cool comic! Obsessed with the title you chose, lol. The color palette here is super interesting as well - the greens and reds you picked out go super nicely together!
@tgood
i was hoping someone noticed that detail 😄
reread this and noticed a funny detail that minjun was hooked by the lip, which implies that he actually went for the bait with his mouth haha
Dude really got messed up, went into the seas, got picked up by random fishing crew half-dead, and now going back home walking like he's in college.
Also amazing atmosphere
GG Fuu! Your battle was a great read and I really enjoyed your characterization of everyone! Also incredibly impressive to put a car in your comic those things are such a pain in the ass to draw! The best part of your comic for me was the paneling it shines especially in the action parts.
I really dig the contrast between the vibrant reds and dark greens here :D it amps up the unnerving undertone of the story. I also enjoyed the humor, Bill is a fun antagonist that lends himself well to a lot of jokes haha
A few things:
Aside from that, this comic was a very fun ride :) Consider me curious about this "tree of life"
Pizzaman, I’m always impressed by how many pages you manage to deliver. Bill is a super interesting villain, but I didn’t fully understand the ending this time.
Fuu, I love the way you handle lighting in your comics, and this one’s no exception!!
Oh and Nagore would 100% binge the Twilight movies with Vidia ‘ironically,’ and they’d end up actually liking it hahah.
Thanks for the cameo!
These poor boys can't catch a break, getting kidnapped, tortured, shot, drowned... and Bill is a really cool villain
Fuu, always a fan of your moody color palettes! I was so ready to meet this new character but RIP haha
Pizza Man, i like the scenario you setup! Though I am confused by how it ended
Good comics! Different approaches but both very interesting.
I looooove your monochrome palettes and the different kinds of textures you overlay on top of your pages :) Page 4 is visually one of my favourites for how boldly it experiments with neons and more "vibrant" tones.
A couple of things that stood out to me:
Story-wise I thought it was short n sweet (not sweet in a wholesome way but you get what I mean). Flows well and the dialogue got a giggle out of me a few times. The ending was interesting; I would've personally liked if the change in Minjun's demeanor in the last page was made to stick out more with a palette change, but that's a nitpick (and more of an art nitpick than a story one).
Nice job :D
Great job on finishing, both of you! These were some good reads!
Enjoyable read!
I really enjoy the buildup and story overall on the comic. The lineart and colors were very pleasing to the eye, if you continue this im interested in where the story will go!
Ganbatte!