I think something that would improve your story is that everything feels a bit like it's "un-earned" for lack of a better word. Like Jessie just invites him out of the blue to cuddle after she was just beating his ass? I don't know, it makes it all feel a bit off.
I wasn't really familiar with Paavo but after reading his bio, I see that you did a very good job of keeping him in character. At first I wasn't much of a fan of him honestly, but now that I know a bit about him, I can see why he's acting the way he's acting in the story. So good on you for really understanding your character!
I did like the little details like how Paavo is wagging his tail like a happy dog would.
Don't really have critiques on the art side as I think it's just a matter of putting the work in to see improvements. Don't be afraid to look at references for poses you're not sure of. It will definitely help you.
I guess I'll start off with saying congrats on actually finishing the comic! I see attempts at including a nice variety of angles so good job on that.
A lot of people have mentioned the anatomy and poses thing, but I'll pinpoint one thing to maybe help you focus as "anatomy" is a pretty big thing when looked at as a whole, but breaking it down into chunks helps. One of the things that jumps out at me is the faces. Most notably the eyes. They are simply too far apart and a lot of the time, can appear slightly cross-eyed. I'd try maybe working on just improving the eyes at first (It's also a thing I need to work on!).
Story wise, it feels a bit off that Paavo would just trust Jessie right away after meeting her 10 years ago where she apparently beat him up. It feels rather forced so that you could move the story forward. But the general idea of the story was fine.
Just keep working at it!
It's a bummer you couldn't do the lineless style through the full comic, but your pencils were clean and very readable.
Very expresssive faces. Wasn't sure on the "cuddlyness" part, but thats just me I suppose.
Overall very nice!
I'm gonna give you some kuddos! It's really nice to see you finish a comic! Even without colors the greyscale still comes through.
anatomy and poses could use some work, but the comic did get me to smille.
Also it's nice to see you let the characters do a bit of interaction that isn't just fighting, even if it ends in them going to crack some skulls off screen.
Keep up the good work!
I really like the lineless style on the back half of your comic, it looks cute! I think it is a little weird for a furry to have a constant blush, but it works with your style. Nice work!
Nice work on completing a comic, energy! I think you could use some more practice with anatomy and posing. I am glad that you made a comic where the two characters didn't get into a fight. I hope you keep trying to get better at making comics.
It's kind of interesting how vastly different your pencilled in art looks in contrast to your colours. I haven't given a big read of your older stuff so I don't know where you could stand to improve, especially in regards to your job throwing a few wrenches in your productivity. I know that in my recent death match I got tennis elbow from my kitchen hand job and then in an unrelated benign layoff it has been impacting my ability to write the current heavy weight comic I'm doing.
I do like that in 3 weeks you did 9 pages. Maybe that could be a soft goal for you if you'd like. Aim for a week to have 3 polished and coloured comics pages? Who knows.
Energy I reckon you could stand to gradually add more references to your artistic process. Not all at once but enough where the challenge feels fun to you. And then but by bit increase the pressure.
Comments (8)