Invitational Tournament 2022, Round 2

fridgeman: i didn't expect the ending and i did giggle. i also appreciate your highly consistent style here, though i feel like you could vary your hatching more, because here it seems a little flat. i'm sure this is a less-fair critique because it is a three-way, but i'm disappointed your opponents hardly factored into this, not even as victims particularly, because maoumi ends the conflict just as it starts. still, it's a fun comic! selevan: your fight scene here has some very nicely composed shots with real strength to them! absolutely admirable! that said, as superficial as it is, it's really hard to drill down and appreciate or critique any of it specifically when the page size is so big, i just feel swallowed up in all the negative space. i'm also left wondering what this fight really means, why mythra would want to have a squash match with this guy, because that's all it is, and squash matches aren't usually super engaging.

Very entertaining! Very nice for the limited time you guys had Bummed Maxes didn't submit

Fridgeman: Good job! You have good fundamentals. Generally speaking, a page is successful when you have a full body shot, a medium shot, and a close up shot, and you did well in that. Keeps things visually interesting. It was also good of you to consistently establish where the characters are. Your writing is funny, and you captured the characters' personalities well. As for the elements that can be improved, your line thickness could be better. Lines should be thicker or thinner depending on the light source and where it hits it. You imply it in some of your cross hatching, but if you beef up some of the outlines of the characters(depending on the lighting) it will add some extra dimension. This is a nit pick more than anything, but your panels are mildly confusing. They're angled and tapered, seemingly for no reason. I generally don't do that unless it serves the narrative, like if there is intense action, or a crazy/bubbly character is taking the stage. As long as it leads the eye back where it's supposed to be it's not a huge problem, but it's something to keep in mind. Lastly, the lettering can be improved a bit. Again, generally speaking, word balloons should have a thin, to wide, to thin ratio. You actually do this a decent amount in this comic, which is good! Just keep that up, because balloons like "Little people, don't you know" and "there are monsters in these wood" could be improved. Overall a great mini comic, and I only see you improving from here! Selevan: A lot of what I said To fridgeman can be applied to you. You had an establishing shot, a full body/medium shot, and a close up, almost on every page. I like how page 5 leads your eye naturally throughout the panels. "How did i get into this mess" is a 10/10 panel lol. You can also benefit from line thickness to add dimension to your characters/setting. One thing I'll tell you differently is you could work on your use of space. Page 2 has that weird pocket of dead space above panel 2 that serves no purpose. Page 3 almost has the same issue with all that space on the top(also the jade mountain almost tangents with the word balloon to make it look like it's part of the mountain but that's being nit picky). On panels that overlap others, you should create a mini border around it to have it pop out from the one below it. Page 5 panel 6 and 7 are kind of weirdly placed because of how thin the border is to each other. Overall you also did a great job. You're both mad lads for coloring on top of the soul crushing deadline lol. Keep it up!

Maxes: No man is a mountain, remember that. People think Monday is an unstoppable killing machine but he ain't. Magistelle took a lot of breaks in between Ring of Power and WFR and didn't immediately jump into the 2020 Void tournament either. Several other people on WFR also have a lot of vulnerabilities and need time to recuperate. Bad time management and life and health problems all have kept me from delivering my A+ comics game. You're better than you assume and you should of course prioritise your wellbeing so you can build on your strengths. Selevan: I could be coy and make a stupid joke about Maoumi being handsome under the mask but that is a low hanging fruit. I like that you let everyone get as much focus as you could in a week and with 3 characters. Although this felt less like a Mythra comic and more like a Maoumi comic. You're a two sided coin in that way, very cordial to your opponents but I don't think you're giving your own character the focus she deserves, personally. Heathen said this recently in his comment on your round 1 but you should be mindful of the page size, it is uncomfortable to the eye. I think you are getting better with your colours and I hope you clock in more time to sharpen that skill further. Fridge: Ok, you wanted in-depth critique? From little old me? Evil boy. I will have to give this several reads again to collect my observations but my initial one was liking the sum total. Albeit it will become dated and it is certainly not timeless in the slightest, the nod to Will Smith slapping Chris Rock makes me smile a little bit. It is very silly. :) Page 1: I try to honour peoples desires for a critique whenever I can, even if I am not very good at it and also do not believe in being hyper-scrutinising like I was as a younger man. I would say there are a few minor tangents here and there but I had to consciously look for imperfections within the work so this is to be considered a very minute detriment to your work here. The panel composition nice and dynamic and you didn't squander page economy in introducing the characters. Art is a continuously improving skill so there isn't anything to be said here besides encouraging you to keep going and experimenting while sharpening the saw of your fundamentals. Page 2: I do think that popping speech bubbles outside of the panel in which a character is speaking can be a double edged sword so be mindful of that. It can be very dynamic if done right but it can also make a reader lose focus. Otherwise, the panel composition is splendid and you are not wasting time and that is good. Page 3: I liked this page for setting up the bait and switch at the end. You are not wasting time. Am I giving you too many compliments for your tastes? Let me know. Page 4: This is a good page for getting the reader excited, you are giving glimpses of monsters to captivate a readers curiosity. Anything I say here would sound like nitpicking rubbish but I can only assume you would like me to speak my mind. I think the monster in the 3rd panel almost created a tangent with the cross-hatching of the panel 2 monster because of its horn popping out of the panel, you dodged a bullet there. Page 5: This is a good page, not wasting any time. Especially good since it fully reveals the bait and switch. Page 6: The bait and switch. At first a reader might be led to believe otherwise and assume that Maoumi is going to be the antagonistic force because of his need for a strong opponent but then you service the core of his character but also trick the reader into thinking he will antagonise Toreda and Mythra when his true goal was the big insect monster in the forest as it's a big monstrous predator. You've discovered your limits for a one week comic battle and you also pushed what you could do by giving everyone twice the amount. You should be proud of what you achieved here and I'd probably suggest to try and make something that is 4-5 pages in length next time around to see just what you can do.

-FRIDGEMAN: Your work has had such a unique sense of humor that I love, it was especially apparent in this comic and compliments the style of the art very well!! That smooth crosshatching technique gives everything a great texture while keeping things clean (Looking at those trees). Great job incorporating all three of these unique characters. Maoumi is a force to be reckoned with. -SELEVAN: Mythra has such an aura about her I can hardly describe, it's really captivating!! The action shots on page 5 were very dynamic and fun to go through, I felt like the longer page lengths really helped add to that flow and suspense. Super cool work, and OBSESSED with the change from the red/yellow to the blue/white flame!!! -MAXES: Just reflecting on what you did put out with Toreda in this tournament, I really look forward to future comics with that awesome alien!