BattyCreator notes 10/10
This was such a sweet comic! It's nice to see the range of Croi's emotions and how he interacts with people throughout this tournament. I absolutely adore all the colors in this, and think the sunset is gorgeous.
I'm sitting here thinking about dialogue-heavy comics like this and how best to portray them. I don't think there's any dialogue you should have cut here, because it wasn't stuff you could portray without speech, and the things you could portray without dialogue, you already did. I think I have a few ideas to bounce off of you. The first thing is that I think you could shrink down your text a bit. It's always hard to tell just how big it needs to be, but in this case, it could have been almost half the size it is and still be readable. I also think adding padding around the text in speech bubbles helps them look professional (think the width of an M between your text and the outline of the bubble), but I don't think that really affects readability. I also think you could actually get away with fewer panels in a few spots, although reading back through your comic, I can see that you gave it a lot of thought and used each panel to express a specific emotion that was happening within the conversation, so maybe I'm wrong there. You did a great job with giving your shots variety, but I think you could push it even more! Off the top of my head, Goldie stands out as someone who's really good at varying up her compositions so that simple conversations still feel dynamic. Definitely check out her work. (I would use professional artists as a reference, but I'm an uncultured swine who only reads VOID comics lmao)
Hopefully those ideas help a bit. This comic overall was really solid, well written, well paced, and I think the colors, setting, and character posing fit the mood of the story perfectly. I love Croi more and more with every story you tell about him, and I can't wait for more!!!
OrionDeadlines are tough, but I applaud the effort! You had some serious emotional exploration even in such a short time, and I really like that about all of your comics. You put your heart into them, and it really shows. Now if only we could get some complete Orion comics, that would be perfect 😘
Heavenbat: Wow! I really like how immediately you established the contrast between their personalities! This whole comic was very relaxing to read, and I can absolutely see Croi being the kind of person that's difficult to get long with until something serious happens. He got one mode: "heal with me." Great work!
Orion: I like the clever panelling! The sense of time gets lost on page 2, and that's super successful for showing the night go on. The last page hits like a hammer too!
Heavenbat- the setting of a long walk on a beach for this wordy comic was a great idea- i like how david is surprised by croi's intuition twice. When a comic is this wordy sometimes it can be daunting to read but the pacing and placement of your word bubbles was good to carry the reader through and in the right order-- good stuff!
Orion- too bad it's unfinished, but there are some cool ideas in this like david pulling the side of the first panel like the curtain he's coming thru. That wine bottle looks nice too-- good sadness from david and i hope he's better soon!
you really put a lot of polish into this, Batty. the beach colors are saturated but still peaceful in a way.
orion, i actually like your dialog a lot. i think it feels organic and human, as well as mature. the insight into letting Rae (its rae right?) go. hopefully David can pick up the pieces soon. and totally meet more people. tall people. purple people.
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