JCEE-
I'm sure echo everyone else's comments when I say I want to see her happy again :'|!!! This was a really great short story and the past these two seem to have was very palpable in subtext. Great writing and backgrounds too!!!
ORION-
This was a very neat abstraction of very complex emotions between these two. Very simple, but the dialogue was great and I can't get enough of philosophy talk : ]
JCee: Aaaaaaaa this comic punched me in the heart in like five different ways. Honestly Jade said pretty much everything I wanted to say in terms of compliments and crits, so just add a +1 to Jade's entire post, haha. The date was going so well but it got broken off in such a heartbreaking way--without feeling contrived or needlessly mean. Poor Swan aaa
Orion: Obviously there's not much to say art-wise in this, but I just wanted to say writing-wise this was incredibly poignant and deep. And honestly, I did love the visual design on the second page. Obviously it doesn't make for a great comic, but there's a feel of symbolism that, graphically, it worked. It would've been interesting to have seen something like this worked in in a more intentional way. Man, this is another one that made my heart ache tho. Poor David aaaaa
JCeeSwan bby! 😭😭😭
This was a really sweet comic! I like the vulnerability both of these characters showed in this comic. There's something beautiful about these more normal human type stories in the middle of major superhero type plot lines. I also love the backgrounds so much (are you using the same trick as Goldie? It seems to work so well; I should set up some of my own settings that way 😩👌
By way of things you could improve, I think the only thing that bothered me a bit is David's face shape. Your style is so nice and realistic, and his face seems a little overly simplistic to me. I think you could have taken some time to make his design a bit more your own and he would have looked nicer. As it is, it feels like you stuck a little too close to his design sheet, which isn't the best fit when Orion's style is so much more toony than yours.
I'm such a fan of your screen tones, your thoughtful posing and expressions, and the heartfelt writing of Swan's story! The heartbreak is palpable at the end of this comic, and has me so anxiously awaiting the finale, hoping her final round is better somehow. (Or perhaps an epilogue; not sure if MEGRE is her type 😆) Regardless, this was a great comic and I can't wait for more! 🙌OrionOrion. Honey. Bud. Friendo. I know you're having fun with Minecraft and stuff, and I don't know what your irl responsibilities are, so I'll withhold ultimate judgment. But I really want to see something polished and finished from you for once. Your writing is fun; really digging the philosophical nature of this comic, followed by the cute punchline.
You seem to excel at getting things done on a short schedule, even if "done" means "barely legible enough to work." I'm wondering if you would benefit from approaching this like three separate 24 hour matches. You can take the first day to script and sketch. Maybe take a break between drawing days, whatever works for you. Do another day that's cleaning up your sketches, then a third day that's inking.
Maybe you just don't have a lot of time to work. Or maybe you're letting other things get in the way. I don't really know, and that's your business. Stuff comes up, everyone's got different circumstances, yada yada. I just see so much potential in your work and want to see you complete something! Hopefully my idea helps somehow, but I leave it up to you! Good luck, and I look forward to round 3!
JCee - Wonderful comic as always. It really touched my heart to see Swan considering the Valkyries like sisters including Raven - who hurt Swan (quite intentionally, mind you) during Arma (but then again we don't always get along with siblings so I imagine that's the role Raven plays in this dynamic haha). This is actually the first time I heard about David and Swan having a past together and it's nice to see them catch up. And this air (no pun intended) of loneliness that seem to surround Swan despite probably one of the most eligible bachelorettes in Void City paints a very interesting picture. Her and Crikey share the same thing in this Speed Dating Tourney. Raven feels isolated too per her last BB Ingress. Xia is having relationship problems. Seems Wizzie is the only one who got it going right now in the relationship department haha. Just goes to show that fame and status (VCV) don't guarantee happiness.
Orion - looove where you were going with this script. Comic is unfinished but there is depth to the writing which I appreciate . Like Putrid said, wish we saw more of the characters but yeah I think you got something good going with this in the writing department.
JCEE-
This was so bittersweet, their interactions felt natural and comfortable. I love how clean your inks are! It's great how even though they are having a normal conversation, the compositions in the panels don't feel static or plain. Very lovely round!
ORION-
Liked the dialogue! But I did expect the characters to get featured much more, this felt more like a beautiful-looking script rather than a comic
Yours was cute, Orion, but I would have loved to see more of the actual characters in some fashion. And poor Swan, getting friendzoned!! I loved the art, but I hope Swan gets a nice ending in this tournament, Jcee!
Comments (6)
JCee
Swan bby! 😭😭😭 This was a really sweet comic! I like the vulnerability both of these characters showed in this comic. There's something beautiful about these more normal human type stories in the middle of major superhero type plot lines. I also love the backgrounds so much (are you using the same trick as Goldie? It seems to work so well; I should set up some of my own settings that way 😩👌 By way of things you could improve, I think the only thing that bothered me a bit is David's face shape. Your style is so nice and realistic, and his face seems a little overly simplistic to me. I think you could have taken some time to make his design a bit more your own and he would have looked nicer. As it is, it feels like you stuck a little too close to his design sheet, which isn't the best fit when Orion's style is so much more toony than yours. I'm such a fan of your screen tones, your thoughtful posing and expressions, and the heartfelt writing of Swan's story! The heartbreak is palpable at the end of this comic, and has me so anxiously awaiting the finale, hoping her final round is better somehow. (Or perhaps an epilogue; not sure if MEGRE is her type 😆) Regardless, this was a great comic and I can't wait for more! 🙌Orion
Orion. Honey. Bud. Friendo. I know you're having fun with Minecraft and stuff, and I don't know what your irl responsibilities are, so I'll withhold ultimate judgment. But I really want to see something polished and finished from you for once. Your writing is fun; really digging the philosophical nature of this comic, followed by the cute punchline. You seem to excel at getting things done on a short schedule, even if "done" means "barely legible enough to work." I'm wondering if you would benefit from approaching this like three separate 24 hour matches. You can take the first day to script and sketch. Maybe take a break between drawing days, whatever works for you. Do another day that's cleaning up your sketches, then a third day that's inking. Maybe you just don't have a lot of time to work. Or maybe you're letting other things get in the way. I don't really know, and that's your business. Stuff comes up, everyone's got different circumstances, yada yada. I just see so much potential in your work and want to see you complete something! Hopefully my idea helps somehow, but I leave it up to you! Good luck, and I look forward to round 3!