RikunShort and fun comic! Love Ghost's absolute shock at how much Itami can drink, and I love at the end that after all that alcohol she says she lost her "buzz." 😆 Like you had how much alcohol and only got buzzed? The ending reminds me of a D&D podcast I listen to where instead of vampires they have "drunkulas" who drink the alcohol out of people's blood. Poor Ghost though. Love that an immortal vampire is more of a lightweight than some young human woman. I'm not sure the airbrush worked for me, especially for your backgrounds, and everything was a bit sketchy, but it was a week long drawing period so I'm not gonna dock you for it or anything. I think you could probably paint bucket some faint background colors to give your comic contrast even if you can't shade or color the whole thing, though, so that might be something to consider!ShenIt's a shame you had so much going on and couldn't ink this! Your writing is great; you had me smiling the whole time. Not sure how I feel about Itami having sex with Ghost while he's blackout drunk and she's... relatively sober? Or maybe she just thinks she's more sober than she is. Either way, it made the punchline at the end work, so I'm not gonna complain that much. Love the Celif cameo! I can't really comment on the art because it all just comes down to "if you had more time..." so I'll just say that I really liked the stuff you did manage to ink, and the poses you sketched looked like they would have made beautiful inks as well! Love the attention to backgrounds, especially. Felt like a real bar. I think my favorite part is honestly still the first page, where Ghost offers to buy Itami a drink at an open bar. Feel just so perfect. Fun read, and hopefully the next two rounds will be kinder to you, time-wise! Don't be afraid to edit down if there's any doubt 😄
You guys really did go on the same premise here and why not? It's actually a really good one and Ghost finally met his match in a sense :P Shame you both weren't able to finish your comics but I appreciate that we got some good comics to read out of it after all!
Rikun - nice to see Itami loosening up and being flirty. Your expressions have always been pretty good. One tip is that I'd avoid shading with the airbrush tool though. Stark/back spot inks, some line variations would fit your style better IMO in this case if you want to stick to Black and White. Some solid variation of grays would be good too if you want to stick to grayscale. That line by Ghost in the last panel of 2nd page gave me a chuckle lol.
Shen - Aaah even unfinished and sketchy, the comic did not miss a beat. And it's somehow nice to see those sketches you got going on before the final product. They are very dynamic and flowy. Story telling is top notch as usual with some little twist and turns. At this point , I've come to associate Ghost with inked comics from yours. It's like his trademark now and you're really good at it.
Overall another great round. I love this new 'canon' that Itami has a natural deterrent against Ghost! But would that stop him later on?
rikun: some absolutely fun interactions! i've been thinking about ghost's power to vacuum suck all the alcohol out of the bloodstream instantly for days though
shen: great energy to this one from start to finish! just two bachelors who waste no time getting sleazy. how many episodes of $50,000 pyramid has ghost watched
I love that both of you just went with the "Itami is just gonna get bit, she's into it" angle
Rikun: It was a really fun comic to read through, and the added touch of Itami sobering up immediately was super funny! I know you were crunching, time-wise, so pages 2 and 3 definitely looks a little more rushed on the art side of things, but it read well. Ghost's lip bite on page 3 was excellent lmao
Shen: You really went for the full package! It feels ambitious for the timeframe and I know you were busy as heck, I think you did it justice despite not finishing. I had to re-read '2 am' cause at first I thought it said "I am be there" at first, but outside of that I think even the sketches read pretty clearly and you could always tell what was happening! You had the romance, the humor, and the shady dealings, Ghost is so fun and I'm here for what you're doing with him!
hey guyyyyys
SO I hung out in the hype channel too much and had the premise spoiled for me. both of your kind of agreed the only best angle was to have Ghost get drunk off Itami. For Rikun, that's the punchline. for Shen, the blackout drunkenness is a conflict point for the plot. that little bit of extra plot really draws you in extra.
Shen, I'm so amazed you were able to produce this output while on a ROAD TRIP. that's nuts. you can set that bar down over there where Kubo is standing. no? ok, just lean it against the wall.
Rikun! Don't be afraid to just do what ever idea you think works. yes, ask the other character's creator for character notes. but also, you can trust yourself to write a good story based off those notes.
good luck in y'alls next rounds
Rikun: I was not expecting Itami to throw herself at Ghost like that, but boy it was entertaining XD I also loved the thing with her being just like totally fine after Ghost bites her, that was hilarious. For being sketchy lines, it's still really clear what's going on--I think maybe all that's lacking would be if you could manage to slap some gray tones or spot blacks in there (or maybe a splash of color, like with the later pages--loved the blood!) or some more of a hint of the background beyond the booth they're sitting in. The booth itself looks real good btw! great job on the cushy seats lol
Shen: While obviously there's some areas where this is unfinished, I think you were pretty smart in where you put your most effort in--and the spots where you resorted to just sketches were clear enough to know what's going on, mostly because, again, it was the "less important" parts of the story. I do like that you included a subplot to the dating scene too, v interested in seeing where this goes!! and also, good job on that inclusion because it didn't feel like it was forced or anything? also just the tiny "what proof is your blood" made me crack up XD
I think the main critique I have is that the blackout scene felt a bit too disjointed? It took me a moment to figure out what had happened--mostly I think because I interpreted "I'm gonna black out now" as "pass out" instead of just losing memory of what's happening lol. Maybe a bit clearer wording or something would've helped? idk maybe I was just being smooth brained
both of u: while both of your stories had similar beats, at least re: Ghost getting drunk from Itami's blood, I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing? like, it was a story beat that made sense for both their characters, and imo there were enough differences otherwise that it didn't feel like it was the exact same comic. it deffo felt like two different takes on the same prompt imo
Comments (11)
Rikun
Short and fun comic! Love Ghost's absolute shock at how much Itami can drink, and I love at the end that after all that alcohol she says she lost her "buzz." 😆 Like you had how much alcohol and only got buzzed? The ending reminds me of a D&D podcast I listen to where instead of vampires they have "drunkulas" who drink the alcohol out of people's blood. Poor Ghost though. Love that an immortal vampire is more of a lightweight than some young human woman. I'm not sure the airbrush worked for me, especially for your backgrounds, and everything was a bit sketchy, but it was a week long drawing period so I'm not gonna dock you for it or anything. I think you could probably paint bucket some faint background colors to give your comic contrast even if you can't shade or color the whole thing, though, so that might be something to consider!Shen
It's a shame you had so much going on and couldn't ink this! Your writing is great; you had me smiling the whole time. Not sure how I feel about Itami having sex with Ghost while he's blackout drunk and she's... relatively sober? Or maybe she just thinks she's more sober than she is. Either way, it made the punchline at the end work, so I'm not gonna complain that much. Love the Celif cameo! I can't really comment on the art because it all just comes down to "if you had more time..." so I'll just say that I really liked the stuff you did manage to ink, and the poses you sketched looked like they would have made beautiful inks as well! Love the attention to backgrounds, especially. Felt like a real bar. I think my favorite part is honestly still the first page, where Ghost offers to buy Itami a drink at an open bar. Feel just so perfect. Fun read, and hopefully the next two rounds will be kinder to you, time-wise! Don't be afraid to edit down if there's any doubt 😄