Footini: I see that you're pushing your limits to what you can do in your comics, and I'm all for it! This feels like something up Saal's alley and I think you did a great job!
Shen: I think the way you handled Lily's aging is great!! And it seems like you opened the door to have multiple stories being told with her both in flashbacks and in Void proper. I hope we see more from you!
DAMN, Shen You made Saal look SO COOL! this was my favorite (sfw) depiction of them! You've got me all inspired.
Footini, I love how experiential you got with this one! your art skills just keep ballooning!
Shen: My favorite thing about this how you so cleverly wrote Lily to go through her hell arc and training. Saal ended up being the perfect answer to your conundrum. also your art is great in this. the only minor crit I have is the little visual cue for the time skip with the two arrows wasn't bright enough and I missed it on my first couple readthroughs.
Footini: I really like your experimentation with the layouts and i think they all overall work and help give this Saal comic a much more doctor strange like feel which is good. None of the layouts were that hard to read and they all looked interesting. others' prodivded good crit on the story itself in that the leading to the end up could have been built up more. However reading the ending itself i really enjoyed it and something about it resonating with me. great job with this comic.
FOOTINI: Thank you so much for fighting me, Saal is so much fun as a character! This is the type of battle I've always wanted to colour and I finally get a great opportunity!! And your side: WOW! you went all out! The composition is incredible, I love her racing from timeline to timeline and it looks as confusing and scary as she feels trying to find the right world- I love all the little details, like lines and cameos from previous comics, the mall in Hell having like 70% handicapped parking, The failed reaper Gray universe, and ESPECIALLY her tears as fiery golden embers, I want to steal that idea its so good. Great comic! You deserve so many accolades!
Take good care of that flute now~!
SHEN- Very pretty art. really made use of Saal's jarring colors and magic effects. Smooth story, and the timing was good.
FOOTINI- It was awesome to see how you handled the world around the characters, and how they rip in and out of it. The methods were distinct and cool.
Felt a tad rushed.. Like you spent a lot of time on Lilyfeather's character trying to change things, but then only a couple of pages for Saal to "sort of fix things". Not bad, but it felt.. "sudden", the the ending came up too quick.
Shen- This was some really smart writing-You used Saal to your advantage story-telling wise and executed it very well, it felt natural and fun- and I appreciate that Lily had to make such a big sacrifice to get what she wanted, it prevented things from feeling to easy.
I personally had very few issues with the art, in fact, you had some truly fantastic panels sprinkled throughout the comic, they were a noticeable step up from the rest of the already good art. (the last panel on page 4, the first one of page 7- basically anything showing Saal looking powerful and otherworldly xD)
If I could crit anything- I felt like Saal actually getting the flute and playing it, deserved a larger panel and a lil more love. The layout of the final page was kinda weak for me, it looked like two important pages smashed together for the sake of time.
Footini- Daaamn that was wild, the scenes of Lily desperately running through all the realities and timelines felt chaotic and mind-bending, the way you laid those scenes on that page was REALLY strong, they flowed so nicely. I also very much enjoyed your attention to detail in the backgrounds, especially during the hell scene.
Your writing was as entertaining as ever- there were plenty of amusing moments but also some scenes that had a lot of heart. Its why you continue to be one of my favourite writers on this site.
Crits- The Eva reference at the end, whilst visually cool (I mean its an iconic scene for a reason!) was distracting to me- I'd personally reserve references like that for passing gags as opposed to the background of a serious scene.
Another thing, whilst I very much enjoy this hazy, dreamy pallet I think when it comes to a lineless style, stronger colours and more dynamic shadows are handy for defining shapes and pulling the art together a bit more.
This was a wonderful battle, Congrats on pulling it off in a mere 2 weeks. I'm going to have a hard time voting.
Bobo:
Let it be known for posterity's sake that this comic was finished and posted a few days early, so we'll never know what a difference a day would have made.
Thing is we did do an extension and the very next day after submission i got hit with an icestorm that knocked out the internet.
So a single day really did make a difference
What great comics, on both sides. This has to be the strongest showings from both of you, yet.
SHEN- I think this has more than made up for the questions and narrative staccato you had in your music lyrics comic. It clarified the ??? I had, and was a clever take on utilizing your opponents abilities and seamlessly tie them into Lilyfeathers story. This has to be the most meddlesome Saal I've seen yet, but that made them such a neat Void version on Rumpelstiltskin that Lily used to great advantage. What made it great was that it wasn't without cost and consequence. I felt the WEIGHT of the choice for her to fast forward and seeing her give up the one thing that made her a magical girl (flute) felt like the final step in her hellish coming of age tale. This really should've been a trophy match- what she gave up was so clever.
I don't know if this is just borne of the deadline, but your quality definitely wobbles. You have such fantastic coloring and scheme for panels where Saal is in their magical element, but then we get to page 12 and your colors turn mundane and almost primary while losing the TLC of your inks in your environments with the gravestones and surrounding yard. It's clear your focus and 'I gotta make these characters look GOOD'. Don't skimp on the world they inhabit because at this stage in the game where you are as an artist its more noticeable.
FOOTINI- This was an interesting experiment in lineless style. I would highly HIGHLY hit up the artists who've utilized this style to their success and pick up all those tasty tips and tricks. There's promise here I think comic to comic, can shine.
Storywise, wow. This is the type of magic and influence from Saal I love to see. Granted, I wonder if Shen may of out Saal-ed you, but this comic still stood formidably toe to toe. It's tough to tell a linear story when your character is made for not being linear. I know other voiders have dabbled in time travel, AU's, alternate scenarios and what if's before and tend to lose the audience when they meander from scenario to scenario out of order, but this read crystal clear. What was great was that it was still in keeping with your brands of humor, meta and otherwise.
I love LOVE the landscape of hell. The winding staircase, the capgras tour guide (eee!) and the fantastic depiction of this 'what if?' universe where the arma threat won. That petrified Gray was so stunning. It was also a refreshing change of pace to see a version of hell that wasn't all fire and brimstone. It's fantastical to be sure, but it still felt like it had influences of Saal. Also it was funny- there was a mall!
There is SO MUCH here though that I wish would've been explained in your smut battle or...anywhere really. Why does Saal have spider eyes now? Why the four arms? Is that borne of hell's infleunce affecting them and not Lily? Or something else?
Shen: Exellent comic pretty much from start to end. I felt your art was a little choppy the first two pages. But I find thats the case with most void comics as artists tend ot find their footing and dont always have the energy to go back. And its not like its egregious, just a little inconsistent. But when the comic hits it stride? Good lord woman, do you know how to pace and panel is a way that leads the eye PERFECTLY.
I also have zero qualms with the story leap. AS yo usaid, you can always do flashbacks. Voids a bitch and a half to do anything consistent unless you produce a comic every two months for the same charachter. Sometimes, a shortcut is just what the doctored ordered. And you did so in a way that made narrative sense, let you move on with the charachter and the pacing was again :Chefs kiss:
FOotini: FIrst of all. Your sense of trippy visuals? Exellent. Your storytelling gets a little bit lost in that it becomes somewhat hard for me to follow. But you have some FANTASTIC ideas for breaking the comic medium. Reminded me of the trippy 80's comics where the fourth wall was continuesly smashed trough by charachters reaching past panels. A real blast visually. Also, I see that NGE ref at the end.
oof okay i had a feeling i would need to explain this comic
having drawn Lily a timeskip doesnt mean i never intent to do flashbacks of what happened to her during her time in Hell, it just means i didnt wanna be LIMITED to her time in Hell. I, as an artist, got tired of drawing her 6 year "coming of age" story and wanted to skip the anime training arc- and since I draw these comics for free, thats what I did. Now I have the option to go back and forth to "current" and "training" mode because what is linear timeline on Void anyhow YOLO
I can see how she accepted her fate too quickly here and in the last comic but I think she got as tired as I did. shes been running for 3 years of her life and 6 of mine, we're tired of it now and wanted to do something new.
....And I did fail to name Lily's husband here, whomp ><;; that Fred's Mortimerr. Most of their interactions have been limited to massive holiday collabs so I can understand how people would have missed them but we did do a BB where they accidentally got married, thats canon.
Shen - this is such a gorgeous comic. I really don't have crit art wise. Storywise, this suffers the same problem with the other Lilyfeather BB. While the three years "fast forward" explanation makes perfect sense to me considering time runs different in Hell. It leaves me with this huge gap in my mind on what happened to Lilyfeather. First, it seemed she was so ready to accept her fate from Armageddon, and now she is a full pledged demon with all the knowledge and skills she needs and (apparently) married to a demon husband that was never named?
Don't get me wrong, this crit comes from a place for the reason that I have been invested in Lilyfeather's storyline. Years and years were built upon her fighting her fate as a demon princess and we just saw her unceremoniously give it up in the last BB. And I said, okay maybe we'll see more. For this battle, while the art and writing are objectively good, I feel a bit letdown that I wasn't able to see yet another journey of LF to witness her grow. It's like I am suddenly seeing a completely different character but with Lilyfeather's past.
Again, objectively the comic is excellent, but as a follower of Lilyfeather's storyline, I didn't like it as much. I am excited though about her future from here nonetheless. I hope you got plans to show us more.
Footini - Aaaah love all the details you put in the background and the colors are actually good too. I am still debating whether or not I like the lineless look as opposed to the inked one of yours so the jury is still out on that. Specifically to Saal though, I feel that the sort of muted palette doesn't work as much. I always imagined them in comics with psychedelic colors that just pop out of you so I am kinda missing it on this one. Overall I am seeing great improvement from you and I suggest push studying anatomy a bit more as well.
Story-wise, I hope I see more of Saal having their own character development arc as opposed to acting like a facilitator all the time while helping their opponents and then all is 'right' in the end. I saw a nice break from this in the Saal x Louise battle. It's good to see Saal let down their guard being the all powerful wizard that they are and have a life changing event on top of that.
To BOTH OF YOU: Amazing work! Please pat yourselves in the back. And extra kudos for finishing it ahead of time! I also want to reiterate that the story-crits are more of an opinion from myself and out of love for these characters so take that however you will :)
Let it be known for posterity's sake that this comic was finished and posted a few days early, so we'll never know what a difference a day would have made.
Holy heck Shen made a good comic amirite folks?
It was such an absolute honor and great time to go head to head with Shen; I had alot of fun giving Lily a bad time.
Thanks again Shen for taking the time to beat me up with comics.
btw I was trying out a different artstyle with this one which is kindaaaa quicker i dunno.
Any thoughts on this lineless look and how to approach it in the future would be appreciated.
Shen - This was fantastic. Your colours as usual are amazing, but I especially loved the colour palette you used for Saal, and the dialogue you gave them. The layouts were great, trippy but still readable, pages 5-7 were just nonstop gorgeous. Plus, in showing all these alternatives with the pros and cons of each, I could feel a real weight behind Lily’s final decision. Just, chef’s kiss. I do wonder where she’s going to go from here though, since she’s effectively nullified her problem.
Footini - I love that you’re continuing to experiment with page layouts for Saal’s comics, page 5 was especially good. The imagery of Gray as this giant, dead in a sea of blood was really cool, I kinda wish that was given more space to breathe as opposed to being covered with speech bubbles. Speaking of speech though, the Capgras’ tour guide spiel ending with “and there’s the mall” got a snort out of me.
Whereas Shen succeeded in giving Lily’s actions weight, this is something I found lacking in your half. Egos and Saal ask Lily to stop messing with things, and that she indirectly caused the apocalypse, but I couldn’t actually see her doing damage to things. It seemed like she was just cycling through her own memories while floating around. And then the comic ends abruptly. The sentiment was sweet though, and I liked the moment Lily had with Saal.
for the uninitiated who should totally be reading Lilyfeather's archive:
Lily was promised to demons by her father before she was ever even a consideration of being born ("first born child" kinna deal). When she was born her father finagled it so the demons wouldn't come until she was 18, but Joey accidentally triggered her marking early when she was 15, which acts as sort of a demon beacon. At 17, she was killed by, and ultimately married to, LeFed's demon Mortimerr (no one is happy about this). At 18 (vs Jerin) her father gave her one more year- until midnight on her 19th birthday- to prepare for Hell, which came during Armageddon where he finally came for her ("Devil's Due"). This takes place directly after, just as she turns 19.
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