MrPr: What a cute little interaction! Short but sweet, hehe. I think this is one of your more polished comics recently, which is nice to see, and I enjoy the way you adapted David to your style. Still recognizeable as David, but distinctly in your style. I think the only thing I'd recommend would be to see if you can't work on more complex shading in the future--That'd probably really help out with the problem Flutter mentioned, Where Sugar kind of blends with the background. Try different lighting techniques, see what you can come up with!
Orion: A shame you couldn't get more finished! That first page is really gorgeous, would've loved to see the rest of the comic rendered with those colors!!
MRPR: This was a really cute interaction. That house totally fits her! At the same time, it's kind of hard to see her inside of it. You've made the pinks a little different, but she still kind of disappears into the background. Page 3 has a great depiction of Sugar Sweet's surreal quality that would be a good way to introduce it, but the truly surreal part of it feels kind of hidden in the corners of that composition. Maybe it needs to use the 3D space more, like that SNAKE panel. It's also a little odd that he comes over, sits down... and then says the plumbing is done? I feel like I missed something.
Orion: That was a nice idea for opening up the comic. If you'd tweaked the colors a little to bring the foreground more front and push the background further into the distance, I think it'd read great. This looks like it was shaping up to a nice story about cheering him up. I'm guessing he died after dinner was served.
To MRPR1993(no preference):
-I like the variety of poses that you put Sugar Sweet in! I think it'd be nice if you had more variety in your panel shapes, but the poses definitely hold up all on their own.
-Your art is very consistent in both style, character design and colouring. Good work!
-Overall, a nice introduction between the two characters. :)
Nitpicks:
-Having the picture frame on page 2 lined up with the... I believe the wall corner lines? It looks like it's hanging partly off the wall into the hallway. Which, if intentional, probably fits the zaniness of Sugar Sweet anyway.
-A lot of lines for Sugar Sweet's hair "go too far"/need a touch more tidying up, like in the final panel on page 2. I suggest looking up youtube vids about "line tangents"- it's really helped me with that stuff, too.
-The couch seems to lose it's arms in that panel too, which is probs just a wrong colour fill, so don't sweat about it
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To Orion(open to comments/critiques):
-A very scenic first page. I really like the colour choices, and the lighting/shadows you have for the buildings in the background.
-I think thumbnailing all the pages and getting the sketches out first, especially to help space the character's out more to allow some space between their bodies.
-As it happens, I can't actually tell what's happening on panel 2 on page 2. I think Sugar Sweet is coming out from under the dock?
-It seems like this comic was going to be a nice, wholesome little break for poor David. I hope he still gets a break after this! I do like the dialogue you've written so far.
Too sweet. Onset ketoacidosis. -Gurgles-
Mrpr1993 - I am really enjoying your color work! Great job. One of these days I'll have to battle you again for one of them neat character headshots ^3^
Orion - Such a wonderful first page. Can't wait to see what dirty jobs David gets stuck with next. Somebody's got to do it.
MRPR- so nice to see you get the colors done all throughout here! Really fun and cute story between these two. I love the over the top pink and bright colors. Really suits Sugar Sweet's theme. And might at add that she's such a sweetheart.
Orion - YOU REALLY TEASED US WITH THAT GORGEOUS FIRST PAGE HUH. I love his musings about the city and I do hope David reconnects with Rae she has a lot going on now and could use the extra pal in David! (Plus I ship them lol)
Mister personal record - really nice short and sweet. You exceeded my expectations. I love how you emoted sugar's entire body when she saw the snake.
Orion - That first page though! 0o0 Gorgeous. The rest was obviously pretty random and a bit rushed. You were probably pretty busy with work and stuff, idk. The only thing I would really say is to maybe try to balance your workflow a bit so that every page at least has some quality. (I know what kinda stuff you are capable of after our SS comic)
Orion - The moody colors are gorgeous in the beginning! Otherwise, it was just a really cute comic!
MrPR1993 - This was also a cute comic, and I really liked the vibrant colors you used!
MRPR- I really like these sharp lines and vibrant colors, they fit with Sugar Sweet really well. I'm intrigued with the small introduction to her backstory and want to see more hyperactive stretchy comics from her! The :3 face on the snake at the end makes me smile.
Orion- The shot with her appearing on page two surrounding him in the frame without him noticing seems threatening like a horror comic. That could be what you intended because then it's pretty funny when she is revealed.. Dave's had a rough week of work... I know how it is Dave! It's nice to see Sugar Sweet come and brighten his day, it's concise and cute. Of course it would have been better if the other pages looked like the first.
MrPr - A cute little interaction, I enjoy Sugar’s bendy arms and the way she twisted up on seeing the snake. Her house was way too saturated for me though. The characters are supposed to stand out from the background, but the opposite seemed to happen here. My eyes kept going to the walls and floor because the colours were just so bright and bold.
Orion - That first page looked gorgeous, loved the colours and establishing shot! I was really interested what direction this comic would go, and I hope you finish this and eventually upload it.
MRPR1993: That was super cute! Sugar Sweet is super expressive and it looks like you're having a lot of fun drawing her, haha. She's great! I really like some of the angles you did with the panels to show off her contortion. The 'snake!' one really works. I liked the one where she's coming out of the kitchen but I think it would have looked better without her legs in the shot and just have her snaking around the corner. Nice work!
ORION: Damn, that first page! Cool! I love the colours. The atmosphere is really well captured here. I liked the sun reflection in the water. The scratchy lines for the breakup of light on the water surface could have been more settled however, they look like they're spiking off the water at points. Also probably could have done with a few more distant silhoutte buildings? Other than that, it looks great! That third page looked like a solid foundation for a great page too.
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