Boogidi: I really like the effort you put not only in the backgrounds but pulling out the camera more for wider shots here. I would like to see Egg dealer interact in someone in a different way, everyone he comes across he just wants to turn into an egg, and while they are putting up more of a fight now I want to see maybe a non combat comic involving egg dealer where he tries persuasion or maybe a comic from the other characters perspective trying to run or hide from egg dealer. You're the crazy diamond on void and you have so much respect from me so please keep doing what you're doing.
Thank you to all readers and all who commented/ gave critique.
I’m glad you guys find that my art has improved, I try to improve everyday. Now I just have to figure out good writing, so now I’m going to try triple super extra hard and improve that aspect as well.
Once again, thanks a bunch! :)
Boo: Hey man, these backgrounds are really good, especially in the first couple of pages! It gets a little wonky in the last panel of page 6, where the floor tiles don't quite match up to the perspective you've got Harvey in. I will say your expressions amuse me, and the joke about Harvey being completely unfazed by Egg Dealer and his attacks as he lectures the Dealer on how to run a store was my favorite moment in the whole thing and got an honest chuckle out of me lol. Crit-wise, while I think you've gotten the hang of the more extreme body shape of Egg Dealer, you could still use some work on t he thinner body types--this is most noticeable in the last panel of page 5, where Harvey's spine kinda looks broken.
Boogy: artquality wise this is getting better! You improve in anatomy mostly noticable on Harvey and your faces.
Storywise... Eggdealer has a fixed theme but starting with eggs, egging around and ending with eggs over every page get a bit boring to me. So i suggest maybe work a little on your writing. Try to build some anticipation, give your opponents a little more substance. This could be so much more funny/entertaining if there would be some rhytm to the egg beat.
Sure he is a joke/fun character (i hope) but even that can suffer from overdosed elements.
Comments (8)