Skulls: Man congratulations! I loved your rendition of Kojiro & Spectrum, the way you made Kojiro not forgetting the beef he has with the Murphy's Law members, and on page 3 the way you have portrayed Spectrum's vision.Thanks for letting me know of Xia and Greece, I hope we could fight in a near future!
Voiders: Thank you all for the comments, critiques and voting!Expect more comics incoming!
AJ: I love your stlye it is nice to have a more traditional comic style on the site right now and these inks are awesome. I also like the general story going on here. However I feel your dialogue is a bit clunky with a couple too many words in it. Fro example "Dude Please just save him!" the word "just" is a filler word that decreases the sense of urgency with what she's saying. When you write your script originally write all this down but you need to go through it a second time read it out-loud and find words that are clunky and can be removed to get to the point quicker or help add character. First read the script out loud, then try thinking about if this is how the characters would actually talk, then think about how the characters would talk in a situation of intense action like this. Not sure if I'm making sense but I can clarify it more via Discord if you would like.
Xia: You're style is really nice and I like the idea of it being a lame bar and Greece trying to pick a fight. I do wish there was more resolution to the fight and letting us know what happened to the spectrum since it was just there. It would have been nice if the top half of the last page had been used to show a small conclusion to the fight, like the top panel could have just shown spectrum scurrying away. Beyond that this was really fun and it's cool to see the relationship between the Greece and Xia
AJ: Not bad for what you were able to accomplish, I think you should spend time practicing different faces and body-types, sometimes Kojiro and Greece seem a bit interchangeable
Skulls: yeee I read this one earlier and u already got my note on it~
AJ:
Dude your style and inks are diVINE. I love how gritty and scratchy you can get, especially during the fight scenes - I honestly feel like it elevates the fighting. The backgrounds are a little bleak and pretty non existent. You obviously have a lovely eye for detail and I would have loved to have seen the chaos of fighting in that crowded and cramped market place we get hints of in the first page.
Skulls:
First and foremost, POWER COUPLE.
I wanna see you play with blacks more. You have these really delicate lines and then you give some spot blacks and I feel like if you went a little more crazy with them, I think it'd look p neat. I love Xia and Greece's interactions- it feels genuine. Also I loved Greece being the uLTIMATE INSTIGATOR. And Xia getting sucker punched was pretty fantastic haha. Where as I don't mind Xia and Greece brushing Kojiro's actions aside (not catching the Spectrum and all) I felt like the festival dialogue was weird. I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a cliffhanger, but it felt more of a just an necessary jolted stop. If that makes any sense??
These were both super entertaining!!
AJ: Always love seeing comics from you, your traditional art and old- school style is very much my jam. The parts where this really starts to get rickety are unfortunate, but it's all basically there, so it's better than nothing. There's some cool action and art on display here, but more in the way of story would have been nice. These characters are all pretty much interchangeable.
Skulls: The way you injected a bit of character and motivation into the old pick-a-fight- because-characters- need-to-interact comic is great, but your oponent's characters take a back seat to the NPCs here. The reactions from the random millenial bar patrons was much more entertaining than anything Kojiro or Spectrum did. And as quickly as they're introduced, they're brushed aside with a page turn, leaving us with a last page that feels unconcerned with what just happened.
AJ: I spy with my little eye a klepp! This is a cool action comic. I really enjoy your style, it's very classic. It's a little rough around the edges but that kinda adds to the appeal, in my opinion.
Skulls: I love the intro goof, i've definitely felt that vibe at a sterile bar. I love the chemistry between Xia and Greece, it's very cute to see ultra-cocky Greece's softer side. I would've liked some basic colors throughout, at the cost of a page, but the linework makes up for that.
AJ: hahahaha holy hell, Greece totally died! Thats awesome LOL! I really love how you draw Greece, his half form and his werewolf were both amazing, and great action scenes! The art was falling apart a bit at the end when it looked like you were drawing on lined paper or.... like, MSPaint or somethin in a few parts but i s'pose i dont have to point that out. Cool shit! if you go on, I hope the next round will be a little more polished throughout!
Skulls: obviously i LOVE the chemistry you have between Xia and Greece~ I loved how she got punched right through spectrum, i didnt expect that! Also Kojiro interrogating Greece about his possible Slaw connections was a nice setup into some possible future drama. My only crit is that nothing really happens with Spectrum, he sort of vanishes. That aside, at the risk of sounding bias, i look forward to more!
The first one noticing Klepp the collector deserves a cookie!
Guys, also FYI, I'm developing a plotline for Darth/Kojiro, where due unknown reasons, since his arrival to VC he is losing the ability to transform in his zoomorphic form ( Kojiro ). I'm pointing out this info just because you can see in the comic Darth being thrown by Greece to an old well of hiemium gas, and then, transforming. I think I somehow wasn't able to convey this idea correctly!
BOOM!
Done!
But very sloppy though...bad bad time management and life setbacks...
Skulls & Shen, I hope that my OCs will cross your OCs paths somewhere in the future, I'm feeling I didn't do true justice to Greece & Xia...It was a busy month for me -_-!
Excuses aside, thank you Skulls for this Opportunity to fight Xia and Voiders for your critiques and votes!
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